Page 23 of The Lies Always Told (Baker Oaks #4)

ELEVEN

THE AUCTION

Gravity by Matt Hansen I just ponder the question.

I take pride in being honest and upfront with my friends and people I care about.

Even more with strangers, but somehow, I’ve gone back to my thirteen-year-old self, the scared, self-harm inflicting shell of a human I was then, who needed validation and help.

It’s been years since I was there, and I’m crawling myself out of that hole I almost put myself in. I don’t want to risk it.

“You’re scared, aren’t you?” Victoria asks, smiling softly at me. Her gentle smile, I’ve come to love, because I can feel it as if it was a hug.

“I am.” There’s no point in lying, at least not to them. I may be able to ignore all of Cara’s calls and keep Gus at arm’s length, but with them, I can be myself .

“Of what?” Bee asks. I never told them what happened, and I don’t know if Abraham told Bee.

All I know is that Gus’ health issues are not mine to share, so I didn’t.

I can tell them a partial truth, though.

A selective truth. I can pick apart everything scaring me and just tell them that. It should be enough.

“I’m not in a great place mentally. There’s so much with the new job and everything else, and I don’t think adding the pressure of a relationship is a good idea.

He owns an empire, and I’m just figuring my shit out.

” I take a deep breath before continuing, “My sister is moving back home too. I need to try to make friends here. I have to help with the diner. It’s too much, and I like him too much to just fuck him every now and then. ”

“Have you ever stopped to wonder that maybe, he can be one steady thing during this time? You don’t have us with you.

But I mean, you do what’s best for you. Just try to find something to make you happy, because you’ve been sulking for weeks now, and I just want to shake you,” Bee says while Victoria nods.

“It’s okay. I need to occupy myself and get out of this house.

” I turn my body sideways, tucking my hands under my head as I contemplate what I just said.

I don’t even know what I want anymore. How am I supposed to figure it out?

I want him, but I’m also so scared that he will have another episode, and I’m supposed to, what?

Even if I get trained on his condition and know all the procedures, it’s too much.

I’m too volatile for his health. He needs stability, and I’m all over the damn place.

How am I supposed to be his stillness when I don’t know how to stand still?

“Ah!” Bee gasps, snapping me out of it.

“What?”

“Get your phone. I sent you a link.”

I follow her directions and click on the link waiting for me in our Burn Book group chat.

It’s taking me to the American Heart Association’s Instagram, where I see they’re hosting a gala here in Jacksonville.

This must be the gala Gus was talking about, so I click the live to see what’s up.

The minute it shows me the feed, my heart stops.

They’re covering the red carpet for this event, and right smack in the middle of it stands Augusto Zabana in a pristine black tuxedo, flashing his megawatt smile at the camera, a blonde draped over his arm.

I can’t tear my eyes away from them. They look good together.

Her blue eyes and blonde hair contrast with his black hair and his dark skin.

He’s so tall and strong. She’s slim and tall too, all legs and arms. She’s wearing a fitted dress, so I can see her full figure, and suddenly, I’ve never wanted to be someone else more than now.

Even though they complement each other and they look amazing together, there’s little to no chemistry between them, or at least none that I can see. His body is stiff. Yes, his hand is touching her lower back, but it doesn’t caress her skin like he did guiding me .

She’s comfortable around him, and when he smiles to the camera, she keeps her mouth straight and her gaze deadly.