Page 20 of The Lavender Bride

19

Twelve days is a very short time to plan a wedding. My friends rally round me. I ask Rita to give me away as she’s the closest thing I have to a parent and her eyes get slightly glassy as she agrees. Ginny will be my maid of honour. She becomes a whirlwind of planning efficiency. I don’t think she does any actual work in the days before the wedding; she’s always on the telephone to the Beverly Wilshire or the photographer or florist.

I’m barely in the office and when I am, I struggle to concentrate. There’s a weight in my middle I can’t shift. I tell myself it’s the build-up to the wedding, that all brides feel anxious.

Dirk is surprisingly understanding about my dress fittings and meetings with the florist. I buy the latest issue of Eyewitness for him as I return from having the blood tests that Californian law requires before you get married. Even though Dirk’s assured me nothing bad about Rex will be in there, I’ll not believe it until I see it myself. The headline screams:

What Ida Young Did to Become Famous

There’s a sour tang at the back of my throat as I read. Is this the story Dirk had in his back pocket? There’s a photograph of Ida in a skimpy bathing suit. Inside, there’s another photograph: this time, Ida’s got her arms around a besuited older man whose face is turned away from the camera. The article claims Ida slept with studio bosses on her way to the top and had a long affair with a married producer at MGM who put her in every movie he made.

‘Ida wasn’t choosy,’ a colleague told us. ‘She bedded anyone who’d help her get ahead. Man or woman. Married or not.’

I smack the magazine closed. This can’t be what Dirk was referring to. It just can’t. Because this will ruin Ida’s career. She’ll never work in Hollywood again. I know they’d had a falling-out but I cannot believe he’d do this to her!

I want to screw up the magazine and drop it in the nearest rubbish bin where it belongs. It’s nothing but cheap lies and innuendo.

Instead, I stuff it in my handbag. Dirk will want to see it. If he’s offended that it’s creased, he can hardly fire me.

As I start to walk back to the office, my mind recalls Dirk saying he thought he could exchange a hot story for the one about Rex and Rex’s obvious reluctance. Was that because the story in question would destroy Tony’s sister? Is that why Tony had to go? I shake my head. Surely even Dirk wouldn’t sink this low. But if he didn’t, why isn’t the headline about Rex? Unless he’s inside somewhere. I yank the magazine out again and hastily flip through the rest of it. There’s not a single word about Rex.

I rub my eyes to shift the heat that’s building up behind them. It’s a coincidence that Ida’s the lead story. It’s nothing to do with Dirk. Yet he dropped Tony Young. I sent the letter terminating his contract with the agency. Was that an attempt to sever all ties between Tony and Rex or has Dirk been more Machiavellian than I suspected?

Back to the office, I go straight to the bathroom and I wash my hands as if that will remove all taint of the lies printed in Eyewitness . I study myself in the mirror. My eyes are huge, my face pale and drawn. I look nothing like a blushing bride is supposed to.

Am I somehow complicit in whatever Dirk’s done to Ida? I shake my head. I didn’t know what he was going to do. I certainly couldn’t have stopped it.

Everything is moving too quickly. I feel like I’ve not taken a breath since Jack followed me out to the hall at the Biltmore. Each day, the painful weight in my stomach seems to grow heavier.

Once we’re married, it’ll settle down. I’ll be a movie star’s wife. I’ll be living the life I dreamed of. I just need to get through the next few days.

I push open the office door and Ginny says, ‘Swell, you’re back. The Beverly Wilshire have sent over these place cards for the reception.’ She comes towards me holding four printed cards.

I have a ridiculous urge to cry. This is what I should be thinking about. Whether the place cards look pretty and the flowers are just right. Instead, I’m wondering whether Dirk’s ruined poor Ida’s career and how far he’ll really go to protect his best client.

‘I like the pink-edged one,’ Ginny adds. ‘But it’s up to you.’

‘Pink’s fine.’ I sit down behind my typewriter.

‘Are you all right?’ Ginny frowns at me. ‘You look a bit pale.’

‘Pre-wedding jitters.’ I force a smile. ‘That’s all.’ But the knot in my stomach doesn’t lift. It goes with me to the interview with the INS. Rex’s lawyer is by my side and with his assurances and the sight of my diamond solitaire engagement ring, the grey-suited men promise my Green Card will be issued as soon as they’ve seen our marriage certificate.

I expect I’ll feel better after the threat of being sent home is lifted but I barely have time to think at all.

On Thursday afternoon, I walk into the courthouse. I’m smiling but inside, my stomach is churning.

I stare at the dark-suited man waiting for me. For a brief second, it’s not Rex’s broad shoulders I see, but Freddie’s much slighter ones. My steps falter. I feel Rita’s gaze on my face. She squeezes my arm in silent reassurance. Then the man turns and smiles that beautiful, beaming smile. It’s Rex. I’m marrying Rex.

This is my dream , I tell myself as I repeat my vows. This is why you came to Hollywood , I think as Rex slips the plain, gold band on my finger. As the judge declares us man and wife, I repeat over and over, I’m doing the right thing and if my smile falters a little, no one seems to notice.