Page 43 of The Golden Boy’s Guide to Bipolar

“It was so stupid.” Avery runs a frustrated hand through his hair.

“Nick was pissed off after the breakup, so we all went to some construction site and he just started smashing shit, letting off steam or whatever. The cops showed up from a neighbor’s noise complaint, I guess, so we ran.

Nick landed on his foot wrong when he jumped the fence, so he told me if he got caught, he’d snitch on me about all of it.

It was either take the fall for it so the rest of them could help Nick get out of there, or let Nick get caught and end up in way more trouble. ”

“Shit...” This whole time, I’d known that whatever happened after that party got Nick his injury and Avery on probation,

but I didn’t realize it was my fault . Nick and Bianca basically broke up because of me. And I’m sure me dating Bianca after the fact didn’t help Avery’s situation

either.

“So, yeah... like I said, I am sorry, but I don’t exactly have a way out at the moment. I get it if you can’t forgive me.”

I can’t lie, it really sucks to get confirmation that Avery would, in fact, still hold me down while his friends beat me if

Nick asked him to. But I guess I can’t really blame him. Especially when I’m the reason he got put on probation in the first

place. If I was in his position, I don’t know if I could promise to be any different. For all the people I’ve hurt who still

willingly put up with me, it just feels unfair if I get forgiven and he doesn’t.

“Okay,” I finally say. “I forgive you.”

“Guess who!” Bianca says as she covers my eyes from behind me before lunch.

I have to resist the urge not to swing when someone sneaks up on me like that, even if I know it’s a safe interaction. I force

my muscles to relax.

“Hey,” I say, turning around to face her. She takes my hand and walks with me to the cafeteria. I follow her on autopilot.

“So, are you done avoiding me?” she asks.

“I’m not avoiding you,” I lie.

“You are,” she says. “Does avoidance run in the family? Because Yami stopped talking to me after an ‘I love you’ too.” Bianca

laughs, and my face heats. It was Yami’s “I love you,” not Bianca’s, that separated those two. The “I love you” that Bianca

used against Yami before outing her. That is my girlfriend.

“Why are you so obsessed with my sister? It’s like you like her or something,” I snap. I know I’m probably out of line, but

I can’t help it. It’s almost like I’m just looking for a reason to be miserable. Like getting a reaction out of Bianca will

fix some broken part of me somehow.

“It’s not like that,” Bianca says, without letting go of my hand. She’s not even mad. “Yami and I used to be best friends,

and then she just ran away to Catholic school and dropped me after one fight.”

“Because you outed her,” I say plainly. Does Bianca really not get it?

“Yeah, well, people can change, right? She hasn’t even given me the chance.”

We get to the lunch table before I can answer, and I’m distracted by Nick and them sitting where we usually sit. My stomach

drops into my gut. Avery’s there too, and we make eye contact for just a second while I try to gauge why they’re all here,

but his eyes are kind of glazed over like he’s dissociated or something. I can’t see under the table to check if Nick still

has the boot on, so I don’t know what to expect. Is Nick here for a fight?

Because that’s fine with me....

I march over to the table. “What do you want?” I ask them.

Nick ignores me, looking at Bianca instead. “So, I’m having a party this weekend. You should come,” he says, licking his bottom

lip.

Bianca glances at Nick’s friends, then at me, like she’s surprised he’s talking to her in front of us. “You’re not mad?”

Is she actually thinking about it? I guess I can’t be surprised, considering how she needs everyone to love her at all times.

“Nah, how can I stay mad at all that ?” He looks Bianca up and down like she’s a three-course meal. Obviously, I know what he’s trying to imply, but I also know

he’s just doing it to get under my skin, and I’m not giving him the satisfaction.

Bianca doesn’t seem offended at the objectification. She just giggles and looks to me as if for approval.

“Yeah, I’m not doing that.” There’s no way I’m going to a Nick party with Bianca.

“You don’t want to go?” she asks with a pouty lip.

“The invite was for Bianca,” Nick says before I can answer, rolling his eyes.

I let go of Bianca’s hand and put both of mine on the table, leaning forward. “You’re not her boyfriend anymore, Nick. Are

you jealous?” I smirk.

Nick stands up, puffing out his chest, “That’s funny, could have sworn I’m the one she was fucking last night.” I just roll

my eyes since he’s obviously lying.

“Nick, what the fuck?” Bianca’s eyes widen and her face turns red.

Wait, is he lying?

“You got a problem?” Nick says to me, ignoring her completely, but she throws herself between us before I can react.

“What the hell, guys?” Bianca looks at me, then at him, holding her arms out to separate us. “I’ll go to your party and Cesar

won’t. Is that what you want?”

“Whatever, do what you want,” I say as I storm off in the other direction, which takes literally all of my will power. I don’t

know if Nick is lying about fucking Bianca or not, but for some reason, I can’t find a fuck to give.

Even if Nick is still injured, I know if I pick a fight with him, all his friends would back him up, including Avery, and

I’d get my ass kicked to hell and back. Then again, a fight sounds like exactly what I need. I turn my head to see a snarling

Nick and Co. glaring in my direction. “I’ll see you,” I say, as if a threat from me has any kind of power when it comes to

them.

Still, it makes me feel good.

“Just fucking wait till I get this thing off. You won’t be so cocky then!” Nick yells back.

And no matter how little sense it makes, I look forward to it.