Page 79 of The First Cut

“Language, Millie.” Jane shakes her head.

“I hope so, because I’m the only family you’ve got left, girl.”

Millie flinches and wraps her arm around herself.

I let go of Hannibal’s hand and walk toward Millie. “Hi, I’m Lola. I’m rubbish in situations like this because I never know what to say.”

She dips her head and tucks her hair behind her ear, almost self-consciously.

“Can I just say you are seriously pretty?”

She jolts, looking up at me in shock.

“Right. Well, I’ll leave you to get acquainted,” Jane tells us with a smile on her face. Millie turns to look at her as Jane gives her a pat on the back. “You have my number, sweet girl.”

“Jane, I?—”

Jane cuts her off, taking her hand briefly. “They aren’t expecting anything from you. All I ask is that you try. While it’s true that there are some wonderful foster families out there, there aren’t enough.”

Millie’s shoulders slump. “I know. I’ll be good.”

I bite my lip so I don’t say anything I shouldn’t.

“Let me walk you out,” Hannibal offers, which Jane agrees to.

“See you soon, Millie.”

“Bye,” Millie murmurs, looking at me and waiting for something.

“Okay, I don’t know what the heck I’m doing. Tell me what you need from me, and I’ll do my best to figure it out. Do you want me to order you some food, show you to your room, or maybe you want a shower?” I babble.

“I’d like to see my room. Thanks,” she tacks on the end after a moment of hesitation.

I motion for her to follow me down the hallway and up the stairs. “I don’t know if anyone has told you that this place is only temporary?” I turn to look at her once I reach the top of the stairs.

“There isn’t anyone else who wants me.”

I frown before I realize I hadn’t explained myself too well. “Shit, I’m sorry that came out wrong. What I mean is that this house is temporary while we wait for the other one to be finished. It’s still on the compound, just further up the hill.”

“Oh. Okay.”

“You’re staying with us, Millie. As long as that’s what you want.”

“What happens when he leaves me again? What happens when he remembers he didn’t want to be a dad in the first place?”

“He won’t leave you, Millie. But I know it will take time for you two to build some trust. I’m not in that. That’s all between you and your father. What I will do is make you my own promise.” I step forward and make sure she’s looking me in the eye so she can see how serious I am. “I promise that I’ll fight for you,” I vow, putting myself in her shoes, wishing I’d had someone fight for me when I needed them. “I’m not going anywhere, I promise.” I hold up my pinkie finger for her.

She looks at it and rolls her eyes.

“You’re such a dork,” she huffs, but she wraps her pinky around mine and squeezes.

“Now, let’s get you settled. Then, when you’re ready, we’ll make a list of the things you want and need, and we can do a little shopping.”

“Jane said the rest of my things will arrive tomorrow, so you don’t have to take me shopping.”

“And we don’t have to go if you don’t want to. But if you change your mind, you let me know.” I push the door to her room open. “Even if it’s just to grab a couple of things to add some color to this room.” I keep my smile in place as I think about the hours I spent sanding and painting this room so it could become the baby’s nursery.

When Hannibal saw the unfinished state, he painted the room using some leftover magnolia paint he found in the garage, hiding the yellow I’d applied. I didn’t bother telling him it was supposed to be a nursery. I kept my mouth shut and smiled like I was supposed to. It was bittersweet. I’d spent time and the tiny bit of money I could scrape together on paint, even though the thought of having a baby grow up in this house terrified me.