Page 12 of The First Cut

Even though his words hurt, I don’t let it show. “I don’t feel anything anymore. It’s been five years.”

“Bullshit, baby, but whatever, it doesn’t matter anyway. You’re mine now, and that fucking kid’s mine too. So he wants the house for the night? Big fucking deal. He can act like he doesn’t fucking care, but I know the truth. It’s killing him, knowing it’s my cock your pussy welcomes now, not his.”

He stomps over and grabs a fistful of my hair. I grab his wrist and stagger to my feet, trying to ease the pain.

“I oughta fuck you in front of him. Let him watch my cock thrusting into your wet pussy. Maybe I’ll pull out and come all over your face. Bet he’d give a shit then.”

I bite my lip, trying to hide the horror I feel inside.

He shoves me away, but this time I manage to stay on my feet.

“You can’t go back to the house while he’s there with his new toy.”

“I don’t have any of my things?—”

I back up when he glares at me.

“Do I look like I give a fuck? Stop being a selfish bitch and making this all about you. Now I’ve got club business to deal with. Figure something out.”

He turns and storms off, leaving me standing there alone. I think about going back inside, but my feet refuse to move. So I stay where I am, feeling sick to my stomach and cold to the bone.

A few minutes later, the door opens, and Gunther steps out and walks toward me with my bag in his hand.

“One of the club girls was getting nosy.”

I take it from him and murmur a thank you.

“Let’s get you inside. It’s getting cold out here.”

“I’m okay. I’m just not ready to go back in yet.”

He sighs but nods. “Stay where I can see you.”

“I’m not a child, Gunther.”

“I’m just doing my job,” he says, holding up hands.

“Right. Because I might hurt the baby. Funny how nobody cares about the baby when Driller’s putting his hands on me.” I turn away from him, not wanting to hear his excuses. “I’m going for a walk. Don’t worry, I won’t leave—not that a prospect would let me out anyway, and I already know I can’t go home.”

“Why can’t you go home?”

I look at him for a second before turning away.

“I don’t have one anymore.”

I walk away, ignoring his sharp inhale. I head toward the dog kennel. When I get there, I sit down on the ground out front and run my fingers through Smokey’s fur when he comes to greet me. Bandit spots me next and walks over too. Before I know it, both dogs are curled up beside me with their heads in my lap.

“You sure know how to make a girl feel special,” I whisper as I continue to pet them.

I’m not sure how long I sit there, but eventually, I start shaking from the cold. Wrestling with my bag, I pull out my leggings from my bag and wriggle into them, disturbing the dogs. Apologizing to them, I slide off my skirt and shove it into the bag, then grab my sweatshirt and pull it on over my head before As I adjust my clothes, I look back toward the clubhouse.

The lights are blazing, and the music is pumping. I can hear the loud laughter from here. Everyone’s carrying on with their lives while I’m stuck in limbo. I know I should head inside and see if I can find a room to crash in, but the thought of surrounding myself with those vipers makes me want to puke.

So instead, I crawl into the kennel, which is around the size of a large playhouse, and curl up on one of the soft dog beds. The dogs follow me in and snuggle up next to me, offering me their warmth. Pulling my chilled hands into my sleeves, I tuck them under my head and think of Havoc. And for the first time, I don’t wish for him to come rescue me. This time, I wish I’d never met him at all.

Chapter Three

Lola