Page 21 of The First Cut

I hesitate, wondering if Havoc will even listen to me. He tends to react first. “I’m here to see Nevaeh.”

“She expecting you?”

“No, but it’s important I talk to her.”

He pulls out his phone, giving me a pointed look.

“Name?”

“Lola.”

He nods and takes a few steps away to make the call.

I bite my lip, waiting for him to return, trying not to think of the time or I’ll spiral. I should be okay, as long as I’m back before anyone notices. The only person whomightrealize I’m gone—besides Driller—is Gunther. But if he doesn’t see me today, he’llprobably just assume I’m not feeling peopley again. No way he’d think I’ve taken off to the mother chapter.

“God, what am I doing?” I ask myself for the millionth time. If Driller finds out I’m gone, no excuse on the planet will save me.

The prospect steps in front of the gate, snapping me out of my increasingly panicked thoughts. He unlocks it and motions for me to come inside. I slip through and wait as he closes them.

He moves around me, taking me in. “You armed?”

I frown. “No. I didn’t even bring a bag.” My face flushes as my stomach growls, a reminder that I need to eat something other than crackers.

He opens his mouth to say something but turns at the sound of footsteps.

“Why are you here, Lola? I have nothing to say to you.” Havoc’s cold voice cuts through the quiet.

I flinch at the sound, my palms beginning to sweat as vomit rushes up the back of my throat. I hate that after everything, he still has the power to hurt me. I turned myself inside out for him, and he just walked away.

I don’t have time for a pity party. I promised myself I’d do this one last thing, and then I was done. Whatever love I had left for him lays in shattered pieces at my feet.

“I came to warn you. Khan and Driller are planning something,” I tell him, sliding my hand over my stomach—thinking about what Driller said—wishing I knew more.

“Aren’t they always? Besides, shouldn’t you be beside your old man, cheering him on?” Havoc asks.

His words hit me like a slap, and I jerk back, my face burning. “You don’t know me, Havoc. You never did, or you’d never have asked me that,” I say, my voice cracking—but I don’t look away from him.

I never should’ve come, but I let some stupid sense of loyalty override common sense. Loyalty only works when it’s returned. And Havoc’s shown me exactly what his loyalty’s worth.

“You’re right, I don’t know you. The woman I loved was a fucking lie. Go home, Lola. You’ve caused enough damage.”

I suck in a breath. Just when I think he can’t hurt me anymore, he finds one more way to twist the knife.

I don’t notice his old lady is in front of me until she reaches up and slides my glasses off.

“What the fuck?” Havoc snaps, stalking toward me.

I brace for a blow, but it never comes. His focus is entirely on the purple swelling of my eye.

“Who did this?”

“Who do you think?”

Silence falls and crackles between us, making me want to scream.

“He hit you anywhere else?”

“You believe me?” The words slip out, surprised. It would mean something if he did.