Page 105 of The First Cut

“And you never spoke to him again before he came here with me that first time after getting released.” She rubs her hand over her face. “I kinda want to throttle him myself,” she admits.

“If you’re worried he might turn on you like he did me, don’t be. I see the way he looks at you. He’d give up the whole club before he let you go.”

“How can you say that and not?—”

“Feel like I’m dying? It’s simple. He never looked at me the way he looks at you. The man I loved doesn’t really exist anymore. I had this version of him in my head, but the reality was something different. I think he loved me in his own way. Loved me the way first loves do before they wither and die, making way for a new bloom. I was just too infatuated to see it.”

“I don’t know what to say or what’s supposed to happen next,” she admits.

I shake my head and smile ruefully. “You go home and live your life like tomorrow’s not guaranteed. I’ll stay here with Hannibal and our children and do the same.”

She’s quiet for a moment, lost in thought.

“I heard you have a healthy baby boy. Congrats, Lola. I’m glad you’re both okay.”

“Thank you.” I smile, thinking of my kiddo’s grand entrance into the world.

“Do you think you and Havoc will ever be able to go back to being friends?”

“We were never friends. We were lovers. Then enemies. But never friends. And now, for the sake of both our sanities, he’s just a boy I used to know.”

I stop talking when a pickup truck pulls up with Pan at the wheel. Two minutes later, a couple of bikes stop next to the truck. I watch warily as Kruger and Circus climb off their bikes. They spot Nevaeh and head our way.

“Hannibal sent us an SOS. What the fuck’s going on?” Kruger’s eyes skate over me, dismissing me completely.

I fold my arms but refuse to look away, done with being dismissed every two seconds.

“Havoc just found out the truth about what happened with Lola and Driller.”

“For fuck’s sake. Why couldn’t you leave well enough alone? He’s happy now. Can’t you just be happy for him?” Circus snaps, making my head whip around to glare at him.

Nevaeh hisses, her own anger rising, but it has nothing on mine.

“Oh, what a surprise, another little boy jumping to fucking conclusions. That’s what landed Havoc where he is now.”

I get to my feet, wincing because I’m still tender from giving birth. When Hannibal asked me if I wanted to reschedule, I refused, wanting to get it over with. Now I’m regretting that choice.

“Lola?” Nevaeh asks, concern clear in her voice.

“Just go home, Nevaeh, and take them all with you. I’m so fucking done with this shit.”

The next few minutes play out in slow motion.

Kruger’s hand claps onto my upper arm hard, making me cry out as I stumble. I’ve barely righted myself before Kruger is on the ground, and Hannibal's on top of him, punching him in the face, over and over. It takes both Havoc and Circus to pull him back. By then, Kruger’s face is a bloody mess.

“Enough!” Havoc roars.

Hannibal shrugs out of their hold and comes straight to me, tucking me under his arm. He looks at Havoc before shaking his head. “You might be the president of the mother chapter, but this is my club and my old lady. You’ve disrespected her and me with this bullshit. Get the fuck out before I do something you’ll regret.”

“I think you mean something you’ll regret,” Circus mutters.

Hannibal shakes his head. “I won’t regret anything, trust me.”

There's a silent stand-off for a moment before Nevaeh slides under Havoc’s arm. “Time to go. This is Lola’s home. And she wants us out. If I were her, I’d want the same thing. And you’d make sure I got it.”

Circus helps Kruger to his feet. All four of them stare at us from a few feet away. The divide between presidents and clubs is growing ever wider.

“We need to talk,” Havoc says gently.