Page 106 of The First Cut

I shake my head. “Why?”

“I need to know what happened?”

“Again, why? Why do I have to relive every fucked-up memory? You might not have lit the match, but you left me to burn while you went out and found the life you always wanted. Congratulations. One day, I’ll even be happy for you, but today is not that day. Today, I just need you to leave me to my ashes.”

I walk away, leaving Hannibal to deal with the fallout.

Chapter Thirty-Three

Hannibal

Iwatch her go, but I don’t follow her, knowing she needs a moment alone to process everything.

Instead, I turn slowly and face Havoc, Nevaeh, Circus, and a bleeding Kruger.

“Does someone want to tell us what the fuck is going on?” Circus cusses.

I wait to see if Havoc will say anything. When he just stares at the ground in front of him blankly, I fist my hands at my sides.

“Maybe just let Havoc absorb everything first. It was a lot to take in. I know she didn’t mean to, but Lola blindsided him about the baby. He had no idea,” Nevaeh says softly, her eyes asking me to understand.

But my anger is too close to the surface to push down. “And you didn’t blindside Lola today, coming here barely a week after she gave birth and laying out her darkest moments for the world to see? You think you had the right to decide when or if she spoke about it? You just violated her again.”

Nevaeh flinches, her eyes filling with tears. “Oh god, I didn’t think. I just couldn’t let Havoc keep thinking the worst of her. I didn’t mean for it to play out like this.”

“I know. That’s the only reason I’m not losing my shit at you right now.”

I shift my gaze from Nevaeh to Havoc, who lifts his head. His expression can only be described as haunted.

“I didn’t know she was pregnant.”

“You lost a whole lot more than just a baby.”

“You think I don’t know that?” he snarls.

I step forward, watching Kruger and Circus tense, ready to defend their president. “You never spoke to her? Never asked her for her side or to explain? You never once questioned if what you were being told sounded so completely out of character of the woman you claimed to love. I’ve known Lola for a fraction of the length of time you have, and I already know she’s not that kind of woman.”

“I was sent down, Hannibal. I wasn’t exactly in a position to fact-check.”

I walk over to him, and before he can blink, I pull back my fist and punch him square in the face.

“You weren’t sent down. You willingly walked into that cell, knowing you were leaving your old lady behind without a word.”

I hold my hand up when he tries to say something. At this point, I don’t give a fuck if it’s excuses or an apology.

“He beat, raped, gaslit, threatened, and isolated her over and over again until the only person she had left in her corner was herself. And I don’t know if you bothered to fucking notice, but she doesn’t like herself much either. She probably blames herself, thinking she should have told someone, even knowing they wouldn’t believe her. Maybe she thinks she should have fought harder, knowing she couldn’t win, or screamed louder when nobody was even listening. Truth is, she did the only thingshe could do without a single fucking ally at her back, and that’s survive.”

He swallows but says nothing as Kruger and Circus start to put the pieces together, their heads turning to take us all in.

“She didn’t jump from Havoc to Driller,” Circus states with a sense of dread in his voice.

“No, she was dragged kicking and screaming.”

“Holy fuck. How? Didn’t anyone here notice anything?”

“If they did, they said nothing. Worse, they did nothing. And now here I am. President of a club who somehow watched Lola fade away, and they never even questioned it. Seems there was a lot of that, right Havoc?” I snap sarcastically.

He shakes his head, his shoulders slumped. “I’ll go talk to her.”