Page 44 of The Fight For Survival

Damon's groan spurs me on, and I get into pleasuring him. His taste is new in my mouth, slightly saltier than Cade's taste but still pleasant.

Damon gives up trying to be a gentleman and grabs my head, starting to fuck into my mouth with vigor. I let him use my mouth, lost in the feel of him and the sounds of grunts coming from Cade and Braylon as they fuck into their own fists while they watch us.

Damon comes into my mouth with one hard thrust and a drawn-out groan, his cock pulsing as jets of hot salty come hit my throat. I swallow it all and pull away once he releases my hair. I lick his tip clean and sit back on my heels, looking up, and smiling.

Damon lets out a puff of air that turns into a laugh and lies his head back against the sofa, tired and spent. Cade and Braylon must have finished at some point because when I look at them, they have cleaned up and had their jeans done up again. "Thank you, Vixen," Damon slurs reaching for my hand. I hold his hand as he falls into a sex-induced coma.

That night Cade carries me to bed and cuddles into my side. Braylon and Damon went home. Something about business they had to deal with. "Thank you for today, Cade," I tell him snuggling further into him. "My pleasure, baby."

I send one more internalI love you, little man,to Chase, my heart aching but also full with love for the men who helped me through today before falling into a deep, dreamless sleep.

Kane

"Andhowdidthatchange the way you saw the adults around you?" I grit my teeth. Talking to a therapist is daunting. Over the past two weeks, I have wanted to walk out of this office so many times and thought about jacking it in. I know I need this to be who Mia and Cade need me to be, but speaking about my past has brought my nightmares back, and I feel like I have taken a step back in my recovery.

"I didn't trust them, obviously," I grit out, an angry scowl on my face, not putting this guy off at all.

"And now?"

I furrow my brow, "now what?"

My therapist sit's back in his chair with his shitty pad of paper and his pen resting against his bottom lip. "How do you feel about adults now that you are one yourself?" Why the fuck does that matter? Is this guy dense? I sit forward in the chair, staring at the man with dark hair and graying sides. Brown eyes with black-rimmed glasses sitting on his face.

"I'll make this easier for you, Kane. How do you feel about me?"

How do I feel about this man? I've wanted to break his face a lot in the six sessions I have had with him. He suggested three hour-long sessions a week because my trauma is too complex and will take a while to start 'healing'-- his words, not mine.

"I want to hurt you," I tell him, surprised by my honesty. He nods slowly, not taking offense to my confession. "Can you tell me why you want to hurt me?" I stand up and start pacing the room, flexing my hands, itching for a fight.

Since Damon left me like the asshole he is, I haven't arranged any fights. He did that all for me, and to be honest, I am scared to be left untamed in the ring, especially while I'm so deep into my past. "Because you make me feel helpless," I spin on him and point in his face. "Every time you make me talk about my past, you take control away from me." His lips twitch.

Is he fucking laughing at me?

I sneer at him, legs jolting, ready to walk out. "Kane, I think we've had a breakthrough." I stop and stare at him, baffled by his comment. "What?"

"You have just identified why you don't like me. You recognize that you need to be in control. We can work with that." My tense shoulders loosen. "I have some homework for you."

"Homework?" I ask suspiciously.

"It's Christmas in two days. I want you to spend it with your friends." I shake my head before he finishes, but he holds a hand out, halting my protest. "I know you can't go home yet. You are not ready for that anyway. You are going to have control here, Kane. Invite them to your house. You might not know this, but you need the people you care about in your life to help you heal. You can't do it alone, but you can do it in a way that you get to keep the control."

I leave the office with a newfound hopefulness in my chest and a hint of a smile on my face. Maybe the therapy is working after all.

I connect my phone to the car speaker as I'm driving. Cade's deep voice sounds loud in the quiet of my car. "Kane? You okay?" I smile at the surprise in his voice. I haven't been in touch since I last spoke to Mia two weeks ago. I wanted to keep my distance while first starting therapy, knowing that it would bring back a lot of dark emotions that I didn't want to put on them.

"Hey, yeah, I'm okay. I have some homework from my therapist," I snort at the ridiculousness of it. Cade doesn't laugh. When he speaks, it's with understanding and compassion, making my heart sing in my chest. "What do you need to do for this homework?"

"Invite-you-and-Mia-here-for-Christmas," I get it all out in one breath while I still have the courage.

There's silence on the other end, and sweat forms on my forehead. My heart picking up its pace in my chest. Shit, he's going to say no. "We can do that," there's a smile in his voice that calms my heart but starts a fluttering in my stomach. Swallowing hard and gripping my hands on the steering wheel to center me, I murmur, "yeah?"

"Of course. I'll book the plane tickets in a bit. We can be there tomorrow."

I don't know why but I suddenly feel like crying. They would drop everything to come be with me for Christmas, no questions asked. Feeling overwhelmed and grateful to have them in my life, my voice sounds hoarse when I ask, "you can do that at such short notice?"

Cade laughs, "A plus side to running your own business." Cade sounds a little choked up himself.

"Right," I chuckle, feeling lighter than I have in a long time. I am so fucking thankful to Cade for encouraging me to seek therapy. It's hard and painful facing my past, but I know that's what I must do to move forward.