Page 31 of The Fight For Survival

"I need the women because I can't get you out of my fucking head!" He yells out. "Ever since you came back into my life, I have felt out of control, and I can't stand it, Mia. Wanting you is haunting me, and I can't breathe." He shakes me, lost in his rant, causing my eyes to widen. "Please just stop calling me. Why are you here? What the hell do you want from me?" he shouts helplessly. He lets go of me and runs his hands down his face.

I can't even form any words with the lump in my throat. What did I want out of this visit? I wanted to know why he didn't take the job back home and why he left again without seeing us first. I tell him that, and his reply only confuses me.

"You want answers I can't give you, Mia. The things I say will only show you who I really am, and I don't want you having any part of the darkness in my head." I lift a trembling hand to his cheek. His face is warm, and the scuff on his face has grown since I last saw him.

I take in his face up close, only now noticing the small scar at the edge of his eyebrow. I guess in his line of work, he's bound to get a few scars. I ignore the tingle in my fingers from touching the man in front of me, but it's harder to ignore the butterflies going wild in my belly.

He closes his eyes at the contact. "Kane, there's nothing dark about you. You are a good person. Why do you keep thinking otherwise? The things you keep saying just don't make sense!" I plead for him to help me understand. I'm so emotionally drained. Every time we see each other, nothing ever gets resolved between us. He is so closed off I would need a hammer and chisel to break the wall he has around himself.

"You would never understand, Mia. Just go.Please." He's pleading with me to do as he asks. I take his face in both of my palms now, and I feel him shudder under my caring touch. "I need help to unde-" Kane's lips are on mine before I can finish. Even though we have only kissed once before, his lips are still familiar to me. The kiss is soft but firm, gentle but demanding, and I feel myself moisten between my thighs.

What am I doing?

Although I don't want to because this feels so right, I pull away. Guilt for what's just happened overwhelms me as I think of Cade. Kane looks at me with swollen lips and shock on his face. He goes to say something, but the look on my face stops him. I watch his Adam's apple move as he swallows heavily.

"Mia," he hesitates as I back away from him. I'm not mad that he kissed me. I don't want him to think it was a mistake, so I dip my head and whisper, "it's okay. I just have to go. I leave his house while different emotions pile up—sorrow, guilt, hope, and love.

I get into my rental and drive to the nearby motel I'm staying at. Pulling my cell from my pocket, I dial Cade. "Hey, baby-" I can't hold back the panic as I plead with Cade. "I'm so sorry, Cade. I stopped it, I swear I did, but I feel guilty because I didn't want to stop it." I get it all out in one breath.

There's silence on the other end for a few beats. "Baby, what are you talking about? What did you stop?" he asks, trepidation in his voice. I sniffle softly, refusing to turn into a blubbering mess. "Tell me everything." He demands.

Sitting on the bed, I take a deep breath and tell him about the woman and how it made me feel. Everything Kane said to me and then the kiss. Cade listens, not once interrupting. "So he didn't explain why he didn't take the job?"

I stand up abruptly, frustration evident in my voice. "That's all you have to say? I just told you I cheated on youagainand you're not even pissed off?" he chuckles into the phonechuckles!

"Baby, it's okay. I understand. You have history, and I know you still love him, and that's okay because I know you love me too.

Now forget about tonight. Go back tomorrow and talk to him, okay?" I think I must have fallen in love with a real-life angel. He is so understanding. I tell him so too. "Baby, we both know I'm no angel. An angel wouldn't corrupt that sweet little body of yours the way I do," he growls into the phone, instantly making me wet. He hears the moan that escapes and whispers, "you're so damn beautiful. I love you," he says huskily. "I love you too," I say in a daze. I hear the smugness in his voice as we say our goodbyes. Sexy tease.

Kane

AfterMialeftyesterday,I had to keep my mind occupied. I didn't feel like fucking my thoughts away after sharing that blazing kiss with her, so I did the only other thing that helped center myself. Exercise until I pass out.

The next day I'm aching all over, but my mind is clearer than it's been in a while. I know what I have to do to finally get Mia and Cade to see that I'm too fucked up to be in their lives and to have them leave me alone.

Ignoring the internal voice in my head telling me this is a bad idea, I dig through my bedside table, pulling out the two letters I wrote all those years ago. They feel heavy in my hands as I clutch them firmly. Blowing out a series of short breaths to gain the control and confidence I had when I decided to do this, I walked out of my bedroom.

Damon is in the kitchen eating a slice of toast when I walk in. I pocket the letters as he looks at me and offers me some, but I decline, feeling too sick to stomach anything. I grab my phone out of my back pocket and text Mia.

Me:Hey, are you still here in Town?

Mia:Yes. I was hoping to come to see you today before I leave.

Feeling my heart rate increase, I run a hand down my face.

Me:I'm available now if you want to come around.

Mia:Be there in 30 minutes?

Me:See you then.

Dropping my phone onto the table, I release the breath I didn't realize I was holding onto.

"You okay, man?" Damon asks. His voice startles me, forgetting he was in the room. His brows are furrowed, and he looks at me with a hint of worry.

"Mia is coming round in a minute." His eyebrows rise to his hairline, and he drops his piece of toast onto the plate.

"She's in town?"