Page 18 of The Fight For Survival
"I thought you could tell me. Has this ever happened before? I mean, shit, he just froze. Look at him. It's like he's in shock," I hear the hitch in my voice and swallow the lump forming in my throat. "No, nothing like this has ever happened. This whole damn fight was fucked up from the beginning, he was playing dirty, and he despises people who do that shit."
We sit Kane down on the bench in the locker room. I kneel in front of him. "Damon, go get him some water, please," I tell him, taking control of the situation. He runs out of the room as Braylon speaks. "Fuck, man, I'm so sorry," He paces the room, repeatedly running a hand down his beard. It's his habit when his emotions are high. Chest bloodied and heaving from exertion, "I don't even know what happened. I didn't get a chance to finish the hold. He froze up on me as soon as I had him on his stomach." He continues his pace, looking guilty as shit. I know it wasn't him, something set this off, and I'm determined to find out what.
"Bray, this wasn't you, man." I stand in front of him, squeezing his arm, slippery from his sweat. I take in his beaten appearance, wincing at the one eye closed from the swelling Kane caused. "You need to get cleaned up. Have someone look at that eye," He looks reluctant to leave but nods his head, sighing, looking at Kane, "tell him I'm sorry," and walks out.
That's when I notice Damon's back in the room. He's holding two bottles of water and passes one to Braylon before he leaves. I take the second one from him. "I need you out of here for a minute" Damon looks like he's about to protest until I stare him down. He must see the seriousness in my expression because he walks out with a huff, closing the door behind him.
I take Kane's cold, clammy hand in mine, causing him to flinch and pull back. My heart pinches. "Kane, look at me." I touch his hand again, only putting light pressure on to avoid spooking him anymore. He looks up, his eyes wide and fearful. "Breathe with me, okay? just slow, deep breaths." His eyes are glassy and blank, like he can't even see me.
What is he seeing?
Eventually, he listens and starts breathing in sync with me. His shaking settles as he looks down at our joined hands. I stroke my thumb over the pulse point of his wrist in calming, even strokes. I take in his strapped hands, noticing the blood and knowing that Braylon took the brunt of Kane's anger tonight. The big man is going to be sore tomorrow.
Kane looks me in the eyes, the fear leaving his and heat taking over them. My cock stands to attention at that look. I want to take him right here on the bench, and I'm a dick for wanting that right after he had some sort of panic attack. "Kane," I whisper. My voice snaps him out of whatever emotion he is feeling, making him pull his hand from mine and abruptly stand up, causing me to have to stand or end up on my ass.
He stumbles, legs weak, so I push him back down. "Stay sitting," I order, my tone telling him not to even try to argue. Kane's eyes widen, and he looks down. Fuck, that small act of submission is hot.
I put the bottle of water Damon brought for him in his hands, waving my hand, a silent command for him to drink some. "What happened out there, Kane?" Legs hurting from being in the same position, crouched in front of Kane's legs for too long, I take a seat next to him to relieve the ache.
"I don't know." Lie.
When Kane lies, his eyes shift to the side. Just slightly, and you'd miss it if you weren't paying attention. When it comes to Kane, I pay attention.
I'm about to call him out on his bullshit when Damon barges his way back into the room. Clearly, the man doesn't listen very well.
"Are you good now? Because I need to know what happened out there," he demands. "That's never happened before. You've been weird since we got here."
I step in, getting pissed off with Damon for starting on Kane when he still isn't himself.
"Back the fuck off, Damon. I got this, okay? Just go to Zoe's party, everyone will be there. I'm taking Kane to mine for a while. I'll bring him back later." I can see the hesitation in his eyes and the need to comfort his friend, but he must know he won't win this argument. "Fine, but as soon as you bring him back, we're getting the fuck out of town. I don't even recognize the man I call a friend." He angrily opens the door, "I'm starting to see why he left in the first place." One more blow to my already aching heart, "looks like he made the right call," he spits, slamming the door behind him.
Closing my eyes, I take some deep breaths, trying not to let Damon's words affect me.
"It wasn't because of you," I snap my eyes open and look at Kane as he speaks. "You know that, right? That it wasn't you?" I stare at his startling blue eyes. Do I know that? I would often lie awake at night after Kane left, wondering if I did something to make him run. Not ready to answer that question, I go to the door, a shift of my head for him to follow. "Let's go to my house. We can talk more there." With a slump in his shoulders, he follows me out.
"Cade, you really don't need to do this. I'm fine," Kane says from the car's passenger side. I pull up to my street and park. I turn off the engine and turn to face him. His face is still pale, and there are shadows in his eyes. I'm not going to call him on his bullshit. Instead, I make up an excuse. "I didn't bring you here to ensure you were okay, Kane. We still need to talk, and something tells me I wouldn't get another chance if I waited." He turns his head away from me, denying me eye contact, and unclips his seatbelt, exiting the car. I do the same and follow him to the front door. Mia has been with Zoe at her place all evening setting up for the after-party, so we should have the house to ourselves.
Once inside, I walk into the kitchen to fetch us both a beer. Kane reluctantly follows. Offering him one of the beers, I start talking, "Do you want to tell me what happened back there?" Kane accepts the beer, sits at the dining table, and starts drumming his fingers on it.
"It was nothing. I got knocked off my feet. It was a shock, end of story", he says, abruptly ending the line of conversation. I know he isn't being honest with me. Whatever happened in that ringtraumatizedhim. Face pale, eyes vacant, he was in another place, and I wanted to know where the fuck that place was. I also know Kane, and when he doesn't want to talk about something, you can scream at him until blue in the face, and the stubborn fucker still wouldn't talk.
"I won't push you. Not tonight. But this isn't finished." I stare him down, forcing him to see the promise on my face. His eyes widen slightly, and he tries to cover his shock at my dominance by taking a long pull of his drink.
"I shouldn't be here," Kane mutters suddenly, slamming his beer bottle down on the table, keeping a vice-like grip on it.
"Why? Kane, I'm still confused here, man." I try so damn hard to keep the frustration out of my voice, but I'm sure I don't do a very good job. "You keep saying you left for a reason and all that shit, but you haven't really explained your reasons."
"My Dad isn't a very good person," he suddenly blurts out. I furrow my brow. I had a feeling he wasn't the best parent. He was never around. School plays, sports events, parent meetings. Absent. But it's the tense he used. Isn't.
"Wasn't," I corrected.
"Huh," Kane looks at me, confused.
"You mean your Dadwasn'ta good person?"
"I mean, yeah, he wasn't a good person and probably still isn't. Why does that part matter?"
Fuck. My stomach pulls as I realize that he doesn't know. It now makes sense that he didn't come back for his funeral. Angry with the world that I have to be the one to break his heart, I reach over, putting my hand on his arm, softening my voice to somehow make what I'm about to say easier. "Kane, your Dad died."