Page 29 of The Fight For Survival

Me:Today?

I know it's a long shot, but it simultaneously gets me into the same building as Mia and Cade. It's a good excuse to air shit out.

Mia:You're in luck. We've just had a cancellation. Can you make 11am?

Looking at the clock, I realize that's in an hour. My stomach flutters, and my chest tightens, excited and nervous to see Mia.

Me:Yeah, I can do that. Thanks, sweetheart.

I sent that last text before I changed my mind. Using my pet name for her was risky, but I'm feeling brave right now. Mia could have easily told me there weren't any appointments, and I would have believed her. But she didn't, which makes me hope that means she wants to see me as much as I want to see her.

Stepping into 'Chasing ink' brings a familiar comfort. I've spent many hours here, and this is where my friendship with Cade began. Closing the door behind me, not wanting to let the cold November air into the building, I shrug off my Coat, hanging it on the coat rack next to the Couch. I look around and only see Jake in his section. The buzzing of the needle and the concentration on his face tell me he is working on somebody.

I've been putting off looking toward the reception desk, worried that Mia would look at me differently now that the lines of our friendship have been blurred. When I look over, a weight lifts when she beams at me. "Hey, Braylon," she says softly, making my heart jump at the sound of her sweet voice. Walking over to her, I give an awkward wave, then pull on my beard.

Her brows furrow, but she doesn't comment on my odd behavior. "Cade is in the back. He'll be out in a minute."

Nodding my head, I jerk a thumb over my shoulder towards the waiting area. "Shall I just wait over there?"

"Braylon, are you okay?" Mia asks softly.

"I-"

"Hey man, it's been a while since I've heard from you," Cade says, coming up behind Mia and wrapping his arms around her waist. That now familiar pang in my chest is back as I watch how easily Mia relaxes into him.

Why is it so hard to see this now? I have watched their love for one another over the past four years. As my feelings for Mia grew into something more, and I knew I wanted her, I often worried that I would start getting jealous of Cade and resenting him for having what I couldn't. The jealousy never came. Until now. Is it because I've now had a taste of what could be?

"Hey, yeah, sorry."

Cade studies me with concern. "You wanna come over to my station, and we'll get started?"

Giving Mia a small wave goodbye and following Cade, I sit on the Hydraulic tattoo chair. Cade starts getting his needles ready but pauses before slamming them down and giving me his full attention. "Okay, so you want to tell me why you've been avoiding us?" he asks out of the blue.

Averting my gaze and letting out a huff, "I don't know what you're talking about."

"Oh really? So why haven't you been taking any of my calls? Or why didn't you tell me you've had two fights I missed?"

I look to where Mia sits at the reception desk, writing in a notebook, feigning indifference that I'm not buying because her eyes keep shifting to us. "I feel guilty, okay?"

"Because you kissed my girlfriend?"

"Because I want to kiss her again!" I shout in frustration, causing Jake, Mia, and the guy Jake is inking to look my way, eyebrows raised. "Fuck, I shouldn't have come here," I mutter, running my hands down my face.

Cade curses under his breath, sliding back on his stall and standing up. "Let's go into the back and talk. It's more private out there," he offers quietly.

Closing the door to his office, Cade leans against it, folding his arms across his chest. "Look, I can't do secrets and bullshit, Bray. I've had enough of that in one lifetime. Explain to me your feelings for Mia."

"How the fuck do you expect me to do that, Cade? Last I checked, you are her boyfriend," I snap, closing my eyes and holding the bridge of my nose with my thumb and forefinger.

"Act as if I'm not for a minute. Tell me what you feel for her."

"Everything. I feel everything when it comes to her," I say softly, walking over to his desk and sitting against it.

"It wasn't straight away. It just sort of crept up on me. She smiles at me, and it's like an electric shock straight to my heart. She gets sad, and I want to find the reason and erase it from existence." I whisper in the quiet room.

"You're in love with her," Cade states.

"I think I am."