Page 76 of The Business of Love Box Set 1: Books 1 - 4

KIMBERLY

I knocked on Rhys and Vanessa’s front door as the cab pulled away behind me—after taking me to do the dirty deed of breaking things off with Rick.

Rhys answered the door. “Damn,” he breathed. “Even your knock was sad. Get in here, Kim. Let me make you some tea.”

“Thank you,” I managed as I brushed past him and slid my sneakers off.

He took my coat for me and hung it on the wall hook in the foyer.

Then I followed him with my shoulders hunched and my head low into the living room, where Vanessa was propped up on half a dozen pillows.

There was a jar of pickles on the side table as well as an empty milkshake cup from her favorite ice-cream parlor.

“Don’t judge me,” Vanessa said. “The cravings are getting worse the closer to the due date we get.”

Rhys put a hand on my shoulder. “Sit down. I’ll bring you both something to eat.”

I took the spot at the opposite end of the sofa from my best friend and sat down heavily.

Vanessa offered some of her pillows but I shook my head.

“Good.” She tucked the pillow back against her side. “I didn’t really want to give it up anyway.”

I couldn’t even manage to smile.

Vanessa sighed. “I’m sorry, Kim. Truly. I wish things hadn’t ended like this for you guys. I was so hopeful he was the one. And I know you were too.”

“It fucking sucks.”

She reached for me but fell short. She let out an irritated growl of a noise. “I cannot wait to not be pregnant anymore.”

“Two more weeks,” I told her. “Tops.”

“Do you have any idea how long two weeks is when you feel like you’re being pumped full of air like a balloon and you’re going to drift away at any moment?

I’m bigger every morning. Look. I can’t even wiggle my toes, they’re so swollen.

” She lifted her foot up. Her big toe twitched a little but all the little ones, which were red and puffy, didn’t move.

Her toes had been painted a bright turquoise color since I saw her last, but even the fresh pedicure didn’t save her feet from looking like an absolute mess.

“And you think my feet are bad? Ha! You have no idea, girl. You might be dealing with heartbreak but I’m dealing with hormones and weight gain and acne in all the wrong places. ”

“I’m sorry.”

Vanessa rubbed her forehead and shook her head. “No. I’m sorry. I’m being a bad friend. Next time I complain about being pregnant, kick me.”

“I’m not going to kick you.”

“Fine. Poke me. Something. Just get me out of my own head.”

“Deal.”

“It’s just so annoying. It’s all I can think about. I want to focus on other things but—”

I cocked my head to the side. “Is it too soon for me to remind you that we’re still talking about you being pregnant?”

Vanessa turned pink and shut her mouth. “Thank you.”

Rhys returned with a cutting board of cheese and crackers and two cups of iced tea. We thanked him and he stood back with his hands on his hips. “What are you two talking about?”

“Take a guess,” I said.

Vanessa scowled at me.

He chuckled. “It couldn’t possibly be pregnancy symptoms, could it?”

I feigned surprise. “How on earth did you know? You are a clever boy, aren’t you?”

Vanessa threw her pillow at me. “Don’t patronize me.”

I stole the pillow and propped it under my back. “You’re not getting this back.”

“But I’m pregnant.”

“Tough luck, princess.” I stuck my tongue out at her. “It’s mine now.”

Rhys chuckled, shook his head, and left us on our own again.

Vanessa nudged my shin with her very swollen foot. “Okay. In all seriousness now, are you okay?”

It was the dreaded question, the question that a girl could never answer without breaking down in tears. I could feel the waterworks itching at the back of my eyes and my throat tightening. “No,” I croaked.

“Oh. Babe.” Vanessa somehow managed to extract herself from the corner of the sofa.

She went to her knees on the cushions and walked on them to sit beside me.

She leaned over and gave me a hug and I didn’t tell her that her belly was making it difficult for me to breathe.

She rubbed my back in slow circles as I sniffled into her shoulder.

“It’s going to be okay,” she said. “You’re a tough bitch. You’ll get through this. You believe me, right?”

I nodded. “Yes. But how long am I going to feel like this for?”

“Like what?”

“Like someone carved my insides out with a dull spoon like they were gutting a pumpkin.”

Vanessa leaned back on her knees and rested her hands on her thighs. “That’s the question, isn’t it? It won’t last forever. That’s all I can tell you.”

I wiped the tears from my cheeks and nodded. “This sucks.”

“I know, babe.”

“Can I ask you something?”

“Anything.”

“How did you know Rhys was the right one?”

Vanessa put her hands on her belly and rubbed in slow, gentle circles as she considered my question.

“I don’t know if I have an eloquent answer for you.

I just knew in my bones that I needed him in my life.

He was willing to put it all on the line for me and I was willing to do the same for him.

And in my mind, I guess that just meant that if we let each other go, we’d be making a huge mistake. ”

“Right,” I said.

There was no doubt in my mind that Rick was willing to put it all on the line for me.

He definitely didn’t care what the world thought of him.

He was easily able to dismiss the tabloids because he knew it was temporary and that they would move on to whatever the next thrill was in the media.

Other people’s opinions meant shit to him and he’d managed to make himself into a billionaire.

Perhaps real success demanded a person with enough grit to ignore the haters.

Did I have that capability? Or was I bound to hit a lower ceiling in my career because I couldn’t push past the judgment of others?

“What are you thinking about?” Vanessa asked.

“I was thinking Rick would be willing to put it all on the line for me.”

“But are you willing to do the same for him?”

I wanted to say yes but the word caught in my throat.

“I’m scared to,” I admitted.

“Why?”

“I’m scared of the fallout,” I admitted. “I’m scared of what people will think.”

“People you know or strangers?”

I shrugged.

Vanessa gave me a knowing smile. “You’ve never cared what people thought about you, Kim. Not like this.”

“No, I haven’t. But you know how much my work means to me. If it’s my career that suffers the consequences, I don’t know if I can give my all to Rick. What if I choose him and my business falls apart and then I’m left bitter and resentful?”

“That’s a lot of what-ifs.”

“But they’re valid.”

“Of course, they are,” Vanessa said. “You’re absolutely right.

But what-ifs have never been enough to not do something you want to do, right?

Because what if you look at this the other way?

What if you choose your business? What if you reached all the success you’ve ever dreamed of?

What if, at the end of it all, you’re sitting in your dream penthouse apartment, but you’re still feeling like something is missing, and Rick is still on your mind? ”

“I don’t want to play this game anymore.”

Vanessa leaned back against all her pillows and made herself comfortable while my thoughts ran wild. Had I just made a huge mistake by breaking things off with Rick without talking to him about all of this in full like I was with my best friend?

I hated not knowing what to do. Decisiveness and action were my go-to moves. I never struggled with making decisions. I knew what I wanted or I knew what needed to be done and I was the woman who saw to it. But with Rick, everything felt cloudy. Messy. Unclear.

How could I clear the debris and figure out what I really truly wanted deep down in my heart?

“I think you need to process with how you’re feeling for a little while,” Vanessa said.

“Let the feelings in. Don’t try to medicate them.

Just be. Breathe. Everything will work out how it’s supposed to and you’ll get clarity.

Trust me, Kim. If there’s one thing I admire about you, it’s how resilient you are.

This won’t break you. Or your business. You’re going to come out the other side a stronger, better, more capable woman than you were before this started. I promise.”

I swallowed back more tears. “Thank you for always knowing what to say.”

She grinned. “What are best friends for?”

“Can I stay for a while? I don’t want to be by myself.”

“You can stay for as long as you like. But be warned. I’m trying everything I can to get this baby out of me, so if shit gets weird tonight…”

“I can handle it.” I giggled. “So long as you and Rhys don’t start boning while I’m here.”

“No promises.”

“How about we just stick to bouncing on a yoga ball and eating spicy food? Yeah?”

She rolled her eyes. “Fine. You know what else is known to help?”

“What?” I asked.

She kicked her heels up and rested her feet on my thigh. “Foot massages.”

I stared down at her swollen ankles and toes. “You’re pulling my leg.”

“Your very fat, very uncomfortable friend who just offered you priceless advice is asking for help without saying ‘please rub my hideous feet.’” She wiggled her toes. “Don’t leave me hanging, bestie.”

Chuckling, I began massaging her feet. “Anything for you, Vanny. Anything for you.”