Page 10 of The Business of Love Box Set 1: Books 1 - 4

VANESSA

“ L ean back and relax. You want some coffee, wine, or tea?” Dr. Langford crossed her dainty hands on her narrow lap.

“No. I just finished a Mountain Dew before coming here.” I took a long breath and let it out slowly, letting my eyes close.

“Let’s pick up where we left off last week. On your feelings of inauthenticity.” Her voice was calming. Was that something they taught in shrink school? I didn’t know, but asking her seemed a little bit off the beaten path.

“Right.” I crossed my hands over my stomach and sank down into the chaise lounge that supported my weight. “It’s my job.”

“Tell me about why you’re determined to keep your identity hidden while at the radio station, Vanessa.”

“It’s not because I’m worried that all of Nashville will hunt me down with flowers and chocolates.” I opened one eye and offered her a mischievous smile.

She smiled back. “Or Mountain Dew and donuts, right?”

I loved that she knew me so well. I paid for her to know me well, but it was nice that she was keeping up her end of the bargain.

“Honestly? I just don’t want to be judged.”

“Dive into that for me.”

I nodded. “I’ve never really been in a relationship before. How many people would find my advice valid if they knew that?”

“And you think that if the world finds out you’re Nessa that they would then dig up information just to defame you?”

A chuckle slipped from my pursed lips. “Absolutely. The world is filled with judgmental assholes that don’t support deep love and romance the way I do. I’m sure they’d love to have the show go completely off the air altogether.”

“What backs up this theory?”

Great . She never wasted time poking holes in my theories. Though it was annoying as hell, it helped to set me back to thinking right. In the end, I was grateful.

We worked through my negative beliefs for the next forty minutes, but in the end, I was still firmly planted in the truth that no one needed to be made the wiser about my career choices.

“The public doesn’t need to know about my alter ego. They can know what I’m comfortable with them knowing. That I’m a girl who works at a clothing store for skinny people. I suppose there’s some inauthenticity there, too.” I laughed. It was a bitter sound in my ears.

“What are you talking about?”

I sighed heavily. “My stupid store never has my size. I mean, sure, every now and then a dress or a top comes along that fits. But it’s so rare.”

“Do you suppose that’s because you’re the average size of most women in America? You’re beautiful and curvy. Your body serves you well. It does more for you than just fits into clothes.”

“I appreciate all of that, but it isn’t because everyone size sixteen and above rushed in and stole up all the dresses. In the order, there were only size tens and below. Um, right. Not happening. Asshats. Butt clowns.”

Her cheeks grew pink. “Colorful.”

“I try.” I reached down to grab my purse when I saw the clock behind my therapist had struck the hour of our time together. Standing, I offered her what I hoped was a smile that said I’ll be fine . “I wish it were fair in the world of weight, but it’s not.”

“Maybe it comes down to the old adage that you want what you don’t have?” She got to her feet as well and walked me to her office door. On a small table beside the door was an essential oil diffuser. Her office always smelled like eucalyptus and mint.

“I guess. Either way, it feels very unfair.”

“I understand. I want to hear more about this Rhys character when you come back.” She crossed her arms over her tiny middle. “You think he’s Mr. No Name, or are you wanting him to be?”

“A bit of both?” I smiled and walked out the door. Rhys was my favorite caller on the show. Of that, I had no doubt.

Too bad I’d offended the hell out of him the weekend before.

Some childish part of me wanted to feel hurt by him walking away after I laid out the truth about his character, but I couldn’t muster it up. Namely because I was the one that was full of shit. If he was my caller, then he was everything but a conceited rich boy with his head up his ass.

My phone buzzed, bringing me out from the rabbit hole I was headed down.

It was Kim.

“Hey. What’s up?” I lifted my hand to shield my eyes from the bright afternoon sunlight as I emerged from the office building my shrink had her clinic in.

It was an unusually warm day for fall and I considered shrugging out of my light jacket.

A group of three young men on a smoke break outside an SUV parked three spaces down from my little Honda made the decision to keep the jacket on very easy.

“I’m in town for a few days again,” Kim said. She sounded slightly out of breath.

“Good. I’ve missed you.” I got in my car and wrestled with the seatbelt. “You want to have a girls’ night tonight?”

“Are you working at the station?”

“Yeah, but I’ll be done around nine or so. We can do a late dinner?”

“Sounds good. Are you headed back to the dress shop?” Kim sounded almost out of breath. It made soft static sounds on the other end of the line.

“No. Where are you?” I already knew the answer. I shouldn’t have even bothered asking.

“The gym. On the elliptical. Finishing up my sixth mile.”

“Is Mr. Forty there?” AKA Mr. Bag of Dicks .

“No, but I slept with him last week after you said he was a dick.”

“What?” Heat flushed my chest and neck. “He was married! That’s what you said.”

“Yep. Not my problem. I needed a tussle in the sheets, and the gay man that Jack set me up with would never do.”

I could almost hear her shrug. “That’s the kind of shit you’ll get karma wrinkles for, Kim.”

“Oh please. I’m way less of a bitch than your Nannie. And that’s what Botox is for.”

I turned the ignition. My car rumbled and sputtered as it came to life and music flooded the stereo. I hurried to turn it down. “Dinner tonight then?”

“Dancing.”

“Not a chance. I’ve got nothing to wear. I’m not going.”

“Yes, you are. Wear that hot black number we bought you a few months back with your red heels.”

“No.”

“Yes. Tell me yes. I’m your bossy as fuck best friend, and I need to dance tonight. Come with me, lest someone snatch me up, rape me, and kill me. Then I’ll cry your name out from the grave for the rest of eternity.”

“Seriously?” I reversed out of my space and drove toward the parking lot exit, where I took a right and slammed on my brakes as a teenager rode his bike into the intersection without looking. “Fucking teenagers.”

“I swear it on Mr. Forty’s infidelity that I am serious right now. And if you don’t come out with me, I might just end up tangled in the sheets with him again. He has a huge—”

“Kim! I don’t want to know!”

She snickered. “I was going to say penthouse.”

“Sure you were.”

“Come dancing. It’s not a request.”

“I hate you.”

“You love me and wish you were a dude so you could marry me,” Kim said.

“I’m hanging up.” I ended the call and laughed, unable to help myself. She was a hot mess in heels. Always had been and most likely always would be. But she was my hot mess in heels and I wouldn’t have traded her for the world.

The drive to the station was short, and I spent most of it on my hands-free phone with my mom. She’d apologized for Nannie several times and the way she’d behaved. It was the same old song and dance.

“I don’t need you to apologize for her, Mom. She’s hateful. That’s it.” I pulled up to the station and parked the car. “She was berating me for being fat when Rhys walked in.”

Mom changed the subject, which was her specialty. “Oh, wow. He’s gotten so handsome, right? And I saw him talking to you by the fire.”

“Firstly, no man that looks that good and is that rich is worth anyone’s time. I’m sure he’s a terrible person.” I got out of the car and wondered who I was trying to convince, her or me. “Secondly, no way he’d be interested in a big girl like me.”

“Vanessa! You’re not a big girl. You’re perfect. Stop that. I’m serious. I don’t like it.”

When I was mean to myself, she checked me on it. But when her mother was? God forbid she lifted a finger to put a stop to it.

“Fine. I need to go.”

“You’re beautiful, and I would bet the farm on the fact that Rhys thought you were the most attractive woman at the gathering.”

I snorted. “Yeah, Mom. I was the only one not married or eighty. Lots to choose from. And don’t bet a farm you don’t have.”

“It’s an old saying, silly girl.” She paused for a second. “I love you. You’re going to find a good man. The right man. The one that will love you like your daddy loves me. And then the rest will be a happily ever after. Promise me you believe it.”

“I believe it,” I mumbled and finally got off the phone with her.

There was no way that was my future. Only my mother could believe something so silly and fiction based. As if life was a W. Parker book made into a film.

“If only that were possible.” I walked down the hall toward my set and let myself live in that fantasy for a moment.

Mr. No Name was there.

And funnily enough, he had a face and a name.