Page 107 of The Business of Love Box Set 1: Books 1 - 4

HAILEY

T he nausea had passed by the time Hannah returned from the convenience store down the block. She found me curled up on the sofa under one of her fleece blankets, staring aimlessly at the fireplace and contemplating the mistakes I’d made over the last few weeks.

And the possible consequences.

She set the plastic bag down on the coffee table and leaned over to peer inside. She pulled out a bottle of ginger ale like she promised she’d buy, as well as a roll of soda crackers. She handed both to me. “Here. Get something in your stomach.”

“I don’t want it.”

“Don’t be a baby.”

I didn’t have the energy to protest so I tore open the crackers and took two. They were crumbly and dry when they first went into my mouth but promptly turned into mush upon my tongue. I washed it down with a sip of bubbly soda.

Hannah pulled out three pregnancy tests. “I didn’t know what kind to get, so I bought all three. Two are early response, and this one? Well…” She paused and held up a blue box. “This is the real deal. I say we take it last.”

“We?” I asked sharply. “Are you the one who has to pee on all these?”

“You can pee in a cup. Then we’ll dip the tests into the cup.”

“You’re suddenly an expert on taking pregnancy tests?”

“No, I just like peeing in cups,” Hannah said.

I burst out laughing. Somehow, even at a stressful time like this, she could make me laugh. I loved her so much for that.

She grinned at me. “Obviously, I’ve taken a few tests.”

“I knew you were a slut,” I said, giggling.

“Well, I’m not the one who might have gotten myself knocked up by my best friend, so you don’t get to judge.” She was joking, but her words reminded me that this was serious business.

I chewed the inside of my cheek and looked at the tests.

I was feeling a lot of things, but ready was not one of them.

It felt to me like the floor was about to fall out from under me and I’d go plummeting down toward the earth six floors below.

I’d crash through everyone else’s living rooms and ride the sofa down to the underground parking garage.

I’d crash through that too until I was surrounded by dirt and worms and desperation.

But other than that, I was feeling great.

“Do you have to pee now?” Hannah asked.

I shook my head. “I’m drier than the Sahara. In fact, I may never pee again.”

“Drink up then. Because I’m not leaving your side until you tinkle.”

I groaned. “Don’t call it that.”

“What?” she asked. “Tinkle? I’m gonna keep saying it until I annoy the piss out of you.”

I shook my head. “You’re most of the way there already.”

She nodded. “Good. Let’s not prolong this any more than necessary. Knowing is always better than not knowing.”

“Easy for you to say,” I muttered. “You’re not the one who might have a creature growing inside them. I didn’t sign up to be a living incubator.”

“Hailey, I love you, but you need to stop watching horror movies late at night. It’s starting to warp your sense of humor—which wasn’t very good to begin with.”

I shook my fist at her. “Keep it up and I’ll jam one of those tests so far up your nose you’ll think you’re pregnant.”

Hannah snorted a laugh. “That’s not how you get pregnant. If you’ve been doing it in the nose, maybe you don’t need to take these tests after all.”

I extracted myself from the sofa. “Sadly, we did it the right way.” God, in the rightest ways. “So I guess there’s no getting around it.”

Hannah stood and hugged me. “Whatever happens, I have your back, okay? You’re not alone.”

My mouth was suddenly dry. I swallowed past a thick lump in my throat.

“I’m not ready to be a mother. I don’t even know if I want kids!

I thought I had so much more time. I thought I’d have it all figured out, that I’d have a good job and a house and—and a husband! I don’t have any of those things.”

She released me and grabbed my hands to give them a reassuring squeeze. “You don’t need any of those things to be a good mother, Hailey. You have me. Let’s just start with the first task and break this into small steps. Step one. Drink fluids so you have to pee.”

Yeah.

I could do that.

One little baby step at a time.

Hannah picked up my soda bottle and twisted the cap off. It made a little popping and fizzing sound, and when she handed it to me and I lifted it to my lips, little bubbles of moisture tickled my nose. I drank as many gulps as I could before the carbonation got the best of me.

I burped into the groove of my elbow.

Hannah snickered. “Classy.”

I shrugged. “At least it came out dry this time.”

“Gross. Keep going.”

I drank more and more until the bottle was empty and my stomach was bubbling. Once it was all gone, I nibbled on crackers and Hannah sat on the sofa with me and tried to distract me with nonsense stories about her coworkers at the bakery she worked at.

After about twenty-five minutes, I felt that familiar tingle of a full bladder.

“I think it’s time,” I said.

Hannah was up on her feet in less than two seconds. She went into the kitchen and rummaged around in her cupboards. She cursed her messy Tupperware drawer until she found what she was looking for, a small round container with a lid.

She held it out to me. “Pee in this. Then we’ll dip the tests in it and let them process.”

I stared at the container in her hand. “You don’t use this for like leftovers or whatever, right?”

She pushed it toward me. “Not after today. Take it.”

“This all feels way too real all of a sudden.”

Her eyes sparkled with amusement. “I know. I’ll miss that Tupperware, too. Now stop stalling and pee in it.”

“Well, hold on—”

She spun me around and pushed me toward the bathroom. “Get in there and wee wee or I will tickle you until you piss yourself.”

“Okay, okay,” I said, taking the container.

My sister nodded confidently and I turned toward the bathroom. As soon as I shut the door behind me, my heart started racing.

Was I really about to take a pregnancy test?

I’d only taken one in my lifetime and it wasn’t even to check if I was pregnant. It was just a necessary test my doctor had to run when I was sixteen and we were trying to figure out why I was so low on energy. Turned out, I just had low blood sugar and needed to eat earlier in the morning.

I’d also never had sex before so there were no nerves back then.

But now?

Wow, I’d never felt so shaky and scared before.My hands trembled as I pulled down my pants and underwear and sat on the seat. It was cold. I spread my knees, held the cup between my thighs, and willed myself to pee.

Apparently, I had stage fright.

“I’m not hearing any tinkling!” my sister called through the door.

“Eww, don’t listen. And don’t talk to me. You’re scaring the pee away.”

“Fine,” she said. “I’ll come back in five minutes. If you’re not done, I’m busting in with the tickle torture.”

“All right, all right,” I said. Once I heard her footsteps fade away down the hall, I took a deep breath and forced myself to relax.

I just wanted to get this over with. I wanted to take the tests, confirm with my own two eyes that they were negative, and pretend this had never happened. Jackson would never need to know about the pregnancy scare.

And I could go back to my boring nine-to-five job and my normal life that I never should have deviated from in the first place.

Hannah knocked softly on the door. “How’s it going in there?”

“That was not five minutes!”

“Try turning the tap on,” she said.

It wasn’t a bad idea.

I eyed the faucet. “Fine. But go away again. For real.”

“Okay. Okay. I’m gone.”

I turned on the tap. Water rushed out and splashed against the porcelain sink. Within seconds, the tingle came back and I had to pee.

Here goes nothing.

I peed into the cup. Once it was half full, I set it on the countertop and finished my business. I put the lid back on the cup so I could wash the outside of it before I washed my hands. As soon as I stepped out of the bathroom, my sister poked her head around the corner.

“Good?”

I nodded. “I hope so.”

I went into the kitchen and she hovered around me with the three pregnancy tests in her hands. One by one, we opened them up and read the instructions. Some had to process for two minutes. One had to process for three.

We dipped in the one with the longest time first and put the cap back on. My sister set the timer on her phone and placed it beside the test. We moved on to dip the remaining two and set timers for those, one on my phone and one on the stove.

“I feel like I’m going to throw up again,” I whispered shakily.

Hannah wrapped an arm around my shoulders. “Just remember what I said. Whatever happens, I’ve got you. I can be a cool-ass aunt. I’ll teach them baby’s first swear word. Give them baby’s first sip of mimosa.”

I rested my head on her shoulder. “If I’m actually pregnant, please don’t give my baby alcohol.”

“It’s mostly orange juice,” she said, shrugging gently so she didn’t dislodge my head.

“Still.”

“What I’m hearing is no on the mimosa, but yes on the swearing?” she asked.

I smiled, despite the fear hammering in my chest. “Yeah, I just assumed you’d be responsible for any of my children’s cursing.”

“Well, we want them to be cool,” she said, still holding me. “And they certainly won’t learn how from you.”

I stepped out of her embrace and slapped my sister’s arm playfully. “I’m plenty cool, thank you very much. I once rode on a boat with—”

The timer went off and I flinched.

Hannah set her hand over the first test, prepared to flip it over. “Are you ready?”

“No.”

“I’m turning it over.”

I nodded.

My sister flipped the test and peered at the screen. Her eyes widened. Then ever so slowly, she lowered the test and looked up at me. “Hailey…”

I snatched the test from her and looked at it myself. There, in the little screen, was the word I was terrified to see spelled out in print.

Pregnant.

“This can’t be happening,” I whispered.

The second timer went off. I snatched the next test off the counter. It said the same thing. Pregnant.

Hannah took the three conclusive tests from me. “You should sit down.”

I collapsed on one of the bar stools like a deflating balloon. “What do I do now?”

“I’m going to help you. I’ll call your doctor and we’ll go from there. Take a breath. We can handle this.”

She kept saying we . I appreciated her support, but at the end of the day, only one of us was going to be a mother.

And it was the one who never wanted that in the first place.