Page 114 of The Business of Love Box Set 1: Books 1 - 4

JACKSON

W hen I heard the knock on the door, I wondered if it was Hailey or room service. I checked through the peephole and saw Hailey standing out in the hall looking worried.

I smiled. She had nothing to worry about. I was going to make everything better. I was going to fix this. She just needed to hold on a little longer.

I pulled open the door. “Hey. Come in.” I stepped aside to let her pass.

Hailey’s shoulder brushed mine and she stopped when she was in the room to turn back to me. She offered me an unsure smile and I closed the door.

“How are you feeling?” I asked.

Hailey tucked a strand of hair behind her ear. “Nervous.”

“Don’t be nervous. I have something for you. I think you’re going to like it.”

“Can I talk to you first?”

“Of course.” I moved to the bed and sat down. I patted the spot beside me. “Sit.”

Hailey sat down beside me. She crossed one leg over the other and then uncrossed it. I waited while she tried to get comfortable, but eventually, she gave up and faced me. “I made a decision about the baby.”

“Oh.”

Whatever her choice, I would stand by her. No matter what. But I couldn’t help the flutter of worried anticipation.

Hailey swallowed. “I’m… I’m going to keep it.”

Yes. Relief washed over me. “That’s good news.”

“You think?”

I nodded. “Yes. Absolutely. I’m sorry if I made it seem like I was trying to take your choice away or like I was pushing you in one direction over the other.

I was caught off guard and I was thinking about myself and what I wanted.

Not what this meant for you. I never meant to bulldoze you like that, Hails. I’m sorry.”

“It’s okay. A bomb got dropped on you. I shouldn’t have expected a rehearsed reaction.”

“Does this mean we’re good?” I asked.

Hailey nodded. “I think it does. But Jackson, we have so much to talk about. I don’t know what this means long term or how we’re going to juggle this. It’s going to take some serious thought. I mean, you live in New York now. And my life is here. Somehow, we’re going to have to meet in the middle.”

“Hold that thought.” I stood and pulled her to her feet beside me. “I have something out on the balcony for you.”

Hailey’s eyes slid to the patio doors. The blinds were currently closed so she couldn’t see what I’d put together outside.

“What are you up to?” she asked worriedly.

“Bear with me. You’ll like it.” I led her away from the bed and across the room to the doors. I unlocked the latch and pulled the door open. A cool breeze tugged at the curtains and we shielded our eyes against the sunny morning sky as we stepped out.

Down below was the hotel swimming pool. The sound of children laughing and splashing carried up to our room and a bartender ran a blender somewhere down below, most likely stirring up a morning smoothie.

Hailey stopped dead in her tracks when she saw the words written in tealight candles on the balcony floor at our feet.

I rubbed the back of my neck. “I thought you would make it over last night and this would have been much more romantic at night. But you’re here now and I can’t wait.”

I paused and turned to her so I could take a knee. I still held her hand in mine. Her palm was warm and reassuring, and as I gazed up at her, I knew without a shadow of a doubt this was what I wanted.

“I know this is scary,” I said, “and that we’re facing a lot of unknowns.

But we’ve been up against it before and always prevailed together.

You’re my person. You’ve been my person since we had pimples and used to drink orange soda with raspberry vodka and think it tasted good.

I want you by my side until we’re old and gray.

And even though we’re not doing this in the traditional order, I want a family with you. I want this.”

Hailey blinked down at me. Her lips moved but no sound came out.

She closed her eyes, took a deep breath, and let it out.

That was when I knew I’d fucked up.

Hailey’s eyes fluttered open and focused on me. “Jackson. What is this?”

I frowned down at the words written in candles on the balcony floor. “Well, that’s obvious, isn’t it? It’s a proposal. I know it’s no tropical beach vacation with rose petals but it’s the best I could do on such short notice.”

“Why?”

“Why?” I asked in disbelief. “What do you mean, why?”

“Why did you do this? Did you think this was what I wanted?”

This was a trap. I knew immediately that there was no right way for me to answer that question.

What I thought was the best decision I’d made in the last five years was suddenly a huge error, and as I knelt in front of her trying to process how to bail myself out of this, Hailey pressed her hands to her forehead and slicked her hair back in exasperation.

“This isn’t what I want, Jackson. I don’t want to marry you just because that’s what people do when they’re having a baby.

When I get married, I want it to be real.

And true. And steady. I don’t want to rush it.

And I definitely don’t want it to be because of circumstance.

I don’t want the person I marry to propose simply because he feels like he has to. ”

My heart tore in half.

“That’s not what I’m doing,” I breathed.

Hailey shook her head. “This isn’t right. You and I both know this isn’t right. You never would have done this if there wasn’t a baby. Tell me I’m wrong.”

Shit. “You’re not wrong, but—”

Hailey held up a hand to silence me. “Please don’t. This hurts, Jack. This really hurts.”

“I wasn’t trying to hurt you.” Why was hurting her all I seemed capable of lately? Maybe she would be better off without me. At the rate I was going, I was only getting started, and sooner or later, I’d cut her too deep for her to forgive me.

What if that had already happened?

What if it was happening right now?

My heart hammered away in my chest like a desperate little drummer boy as I stared up at the woman I loved.

“I was trying to make a grand gesture to show you I’m here for you.

And that I’m head over heels for you. I just—fuck me—I didn’t know it until I thought I’d lost it.

And I know that’s probably not what you want to hear but it’s the truth.

I love you, Hailey. I always have. I was just too blind to see what was right in front of my face until now. ”

“That doesn’t make this okay.”

I got to my feet and reached for her hands. Hailey pulled away and moved to the railing of the balcony. She leaned over it, resting her elbows on the cool metal, and gazed down at the kids playing in the pool.

I stood beside her and tried to think of the right thing to say.

I realized there probably wasn’t a right thing to say.

“What do you need?” I asked.

Hailey’s jaw flexed. She swallowed and bowed her head. “Space. I need space.”

I could give her that. Not because I wanted to but because she’d asked for it.

Five minutes ago, I’d expected us to leave this hotel room as an engaged couple embarking on a crazy new adventure together.

I thought maybe we could go grab something to eat together.

She’d be eating for two now, so I figured I’d take her someplace nice for her favorite breakfast, eggs benny.

If all went well, I’d had it in my head that we could go look at baby stuff.

I’d never wandered through the kids’ section of a store before.

Why not today?

“I can give you space.” I pushed off the railing.

She turned slowly back to me and nodded. “I don’t know how long I’ll need.”

“That’s okay. I’m sorry. I didn’t mean to hurt you. I meant to… I don’t know. I thought this was the right decision.”

Hailey put her hand on my shoulder. “I don’t think either of us has been making right decisions for a while, Jack.”

Her hand fell and she brushed past me. I didn’t follow her into the room. Instead, I stayed where I was and listened to the door click closed behind her. The laughter of the children down in the pool broke over me and I returned to watch them play.

Would Hailey and I ever have a future where we could be in a hotel playing with our kids in the pool? Or had I just destroyed that future for us all?