Page 116 of The Business of Love Box Set 1: Books 1 - 4

JACKSON

A s I sat in my rental car parked at the curb outside Hailey’s work place in Nashville, I wondered if this was yet another mistake I was making.

It was Tuesday morning. The sun was shining, and glittering drops of dew clung to the grass on the front lawn of the building. I drummed my fingers on the steering wheel and watched the front doors, waiting for Hailey to step outside.

Kim had called me and told me all about Hailey’s first doctor appointment this morning. She’d explained how Hailey didn’t want anyone going with her. So naturally, when Kim suggested I go, I’d thought it was a reckless idea.

I insisted Hailey didn’t want anything to do with me. She’d asked me for space and I was pretty sure the exact opposite of that would be tagging along to her doctor appointment.

But Kim told me to blame it on her if things went badly.

She argued steadfastly with me until I caved, and now I was back in Nashville after yet more back-to-back flights.

My head felt fat with fatigue. I hadn’t slept well in days, nor had I been able to eat much of anything.

My nerves were getting the best of me, and sitting here waiting wasn’t helping.

But it was giving me some clarity.

I was grateful Kim had called. I definitely didn’t want Hailey going to her appointments by herself. I wanted to be there to hold her hand and experience this with her. I wanted her to have someone to turn to when she heard the heartbeat for the first time. I wanted to share the joy in this.

If she’d let me.

The front doors of the building opened and Hailey stepped out into the sun. She stopped to rummage through her purse and pull out a pair of sunglasses. She slid them on and began making her way down the sidewalk. She looked good.

Hell, she always looked good.

She was wearing tight gray leggings, white sneakers, and a loose mint-green sweater. Her hair was half pulled up and small earrings glittered in her ears. She had earbuds in and was likely going to catch public transit of some kind to get to her doctor’s office.

I got out of my car and moved around to the passenger side so I could meet her on the sidewalk.

She didn’t even notice me standing here. Whatever she was listening to had her complete attention. When I stepped out a little and waved, she flinched, tore an earbud out of one ear, and stared at me.

“Jackson? What the hell are you doing here?”

I’d had a bunch of things rehearsed that I wanted to say but they flitted out of my head the minute we locked eyes.

Say something, Jack. Anything.

“I didn’t want you to do this by yourself,” I said.

“Do what by myself?”

“Go to the doctor.”

She rolled her eyes to the sky and took her sunglasses off. She pushed them up in her hair and planted a hand on her hip. “Who told you? Kim?”

“It doesn’t matter who told me.”

“I’m going to kill her. She knows I wanted to do this by myself but she had to go and meddle like always. Why does she do that shit?”

“Because she cares about you,” I said.

Hailey stared blankly at me.

I ran my fingers through my hair and gestured at my car. “Come on, Hails. Let me at least drive you. I’ll stay in the car if you absolutely don’t want me coming inside with you.”

“I can get myself there.” She went to put her earbuds back in.

I stepped forward and caught her hand. “I’m not asking you to marry me again. I’m just asking that you let me give you a ride.”

She searched my eyes.

For a moment, I was certain she would say no. She was obviously still pissed at me. I couldn’t blame her.

“Fine,” Hailey said. “A ride. But that’s it.”

I opened the passenger door and turned my back to her so she couldn’t see me grinning. “Just a ride. Sounds good.”

Hailey brushed past me and got in the car. I felt her eyes following me as I walked around the hood and got behind the wheel. I drove much more cautiously than I normally would have. I didn’t want to give her motion sickness on top of morning sickness.

We were quiet after I pulled away from the curb.

She pulled her purse up onto her lap and sifted through it until she found her chapstick.

She rolled it on, popped the cap back on, and tucked it into the pouch on the inside lining of the purse.

Hailey didn’t stop there. She continued to “look for things” in her purse, and I had a sneaking suspicion she was only trying to look busy so I wouldn’t talk to her.

Point taken.

I kept my eyes fixed on the road and my head in the game.

It was strange to consider what I was actually doing. I was driving the woman I loved and our unborn child to his or her first ever doctor’s appointment.

I smiled. Even though this wasn’t how I dreamed my first experience would go, it was still perfect.

Because it was with Hailey.

She would forgive me. She had to. Without Hailey, I wasn’t Jackson, and without me, she wasn’t Hailey. It was that simple. In time, she’d come to realize that.

Maybe if I stopped trying so hard and just went back to being myself before shit fell apart, I could speed the process along a bit.

“Remember that time I thought it was a good idea to propose?” I asked.

Hailey shot me a look. Her eyes narrowed and her lips pursed into a fine line.

I cracked a smile as we pulled away from a green light. “Kidding.”

Hailey rolled her eyes. “Very funny, Jackson.”

“I thought so.” Hey, at least we’re talking. I’ll take what I can get.

“In all seriousness though, you deserve better than a last-minute half-hearted proposal, Hails. I got my shit twisted, and now that I’m looking back, I can see how pathetic it was. I’m embarrassed.”

“Good.”

“I dropped the ball. I wasn’t thinking.”

“No you were not,” she said stiffly.

“I just figured… I don’t know. I didn’t want you to feel like you had to do this alone.

A grand gesture felt like the right move at the time.

In hindsight, I can see how that was not the case at all.

I would’ve been better off just throwing myself off the balcony altogether to spare myself the humiliation. ”

Hailey’s stern expression softened a little bit. “Don’t beat yourself up too hard. It was thoughtless of you, yes. And equally embarrassing for me. But at the same time…”

“At the same time what?” I asked hopefully.

She sighed and shook her head like she couldn’t believe what she was about to say. “At the same time, I know you, and I know your heart was in the right place, and now I think part of it was kind of sweet.” She twisted toward me. “Don’t let that go to your head.”

I shrugged and pretended that I wasn’t brimming over with joy. Hailey was forgiving me. Slowly but surely, we were working our way back to each other and there was light at the end of the tunnel. I was getting my friend back. “I’ve been known to be sweet on occasion. When I want to be.”

“Don’t ruin it.”

I chuckled. “All right. All right. I’m done. I’ll stop.”

“Thank you.”

We passed a couple of crossroads in comfortable silence together. Hailey no longer fidgeted with her purse or tried to busy herself with tasks that didn’t matter, and I didn’t worry obsessively over losing my best friend.

As the clinic drew closer, Hailey’s grip on her bag tightened.

I reached over and took one of her hands in mine. “Are you nervous?”

Hailey nodded.

“Me too,” I admitted.

“You are?”

“Of course I am. How could I not be? This is a big deal. There is so much unknown with this. But can I tell you something?”

Hailey chewed the inside of her cheek and nodded.

“I’m glad I’m with you,” I said.

She smiled.

The clouds parted and the sun shone down on me and I basked in the brilliant warmth of that smile. Suddenly, everything felt right as she leaned back in the seat and closed her eyes, her smile still lingering on her perfect lips.

“You’re a sweet talker, Jack.”

“I mean it.”

She opened one eye and peered over at me. “I know you do.”