Page 104 of The Business of Love Box Set 1: Books 1 - 4

JACKSON

T he engine of my Mercedes rumbled loyally as Hailey and I sat in bumper to bumper New York City traffic. JFK airport was still a good five or so miles away, and at this rate, she and I had at least half an hour to kill.

The ride had been eerily quiet since we left my apartment forty-five minutes ago.

Usually, Hailey and I were in our element whenever we were out for a drive.

She’d crank the music and I’d roll the windows down and we’d revel in our glory and serenade people in cars parked beside us at red lights.

Hailey would run her hand through the wind when we hit straightaways and picked up speed.

Her hair would get caught up in her lip-gloss smile and I’d mouth the words to the songs so my own voice wouldn’t drown out hers.

I liked to listen to her sing even though she wasn’t very good at it. Tone deaf. Not that I’d ever say that to her.

But this drive wasn’t like that.

The radio was playing so quietly I could hardly hear the song playing through my speakers.

The windows were rolled up and it was raining, as it had been for the last half of the week.

Hailey’s knees pointed toward the passenger door and her elbow rested on the window ledge.

She held her head up in one hand and gazed out the raindrop-spattered window.

I could see her reflection in the glass.

She looked as gloomy as the weather and as glum as I felt.

And it was my fault.

Just a few days ago, I’d had everything I could have ever wanted and I’d tricked myself into believing it would stay that way.

I had my fresh new start in the city of my dreams. I had my dream job.

I was at the jumping-off point for even more career success and the only thing that had been missing was my best friend by my side.

Then miraculously, she’d shown up.

Hailey had dropped everything in Nashville to come be with me.

What was I supposed to interpret that as? I thought she’d chosen us over everything else. I thought she was ready to start a new chapter of our lives together, regardless of what shape together took.

But the things she’d said to me the other night after she went for her walk had me questioning everything. Did she even know me at all? Did she really think all I cared about was a piece of arm candy?

I cleared my throat. “I’d still like to fly you out for frequent visits if you’re up for it. If you get a long weekend off or something. We could do touristy New York shit together.”

Hailey lifted her head from her hand and offered me a tired smile. “Yeah. That would be nice.”

I had the strong sense she was merely telling me what she thought I wanted to hear.

When had things gotten so weird between us? Why hadn’t I seen this coming? Why hadn’t I pumped the brakes as soon as shit got intimate and realized we were heading down a road we might not ever be able to turn around from?

Was the casual hookup the problem? Or was there something else bothering her?

The traffic continued to inch forward. Soon, the airport was looming in the distance and we moved into the right lines toward the domestic departure terminals.

We got backed up behind taxis and luxury sedans doing drop-offs, but eventually, I was able to pull into a spot near the curb where we could safely unload Hailey’s bags.

She got out of the car before I’d even turned off the ignition.

When I got out, she was already standing at the trunk. I popped the lock and the trunk unlatched. Hailey lifted it up and began hauling her bags out. I stepped in to help. Normally, she’d have stood back and let me get her bags for her.

Not today.

She was flying solo. I couldn’t tell if she was trying to punish me or just remind me that she didn’t need me.

Either way, it didn’t feel very good.

I closed the trunk and she stacked her carry-on bag on top of her suitcase. “Thanks for driving me,” she said.

“Of course. Didn’t seem right to load you into a cab. Besides, I wanted as much time with you as I could get.”

Her smile was tense and short lived, and it didn’t touch her eyes.

Hailey shouldered her purse and turned around to look up at the terminal signs for her gate.

I moved up onto the curb with her and pointed it out to her. “You’re right down there.”

She tucked her hair behind her ear and turned back to me. “Thanks again for trying to make this work. For a minute there, I thought it would but… this is best.”

If you say so.

I knew Hailey well enough to catch all the signs that she’d made up her mind and there was nothing I could say or do to change it. And I didn’t want to. If this wasn’t where she wanted to be, then I wasn’t going to fight for her to stay.

I ignored the comment about this being the best thing for right now. “I’m still glad you came.”

She didn’t say “me too” like I hoped she might. Instead, she said, “I wish I’d sorted my shit out before I cost you so much money making over that bedroom.”

“I bought all that for you. I’ll have it sent to Hannah’s on a moving truck.”

Hailey’s eyes widened with surprise. “I don’t want you to do that.”

And I don’t want you to leave.

I gave her a cocky grin. “We can’t always get what we want, Hails.”

I wasn’t sure what I’d been hoping for. Some playful banter might have been a nice note to end this anticlimactic, disappointing journey on.

It was kind of our shtick. I cracked a joke, and she’d roll her eyes and crack one back, and we’d hug and go our separate ways smiling about how dumb our best friend was.

We weren’t going to get that goodbye this time. I could feel it.

How long would it be before I saw her again?

Weeks?

Months?

And if it was months, how many?

“I’ll come to Nashville too,” I said, hoping my desperation and worry weren’t bleeding into my voice.

Hailey smiled over her shoulder at me. “I should hope so. Just because you’re a big shot out here doesn’t mean you can forget about all of us out there.”

“Never.”

“I should go.”

“Yeah.”

Hailey kept a hand on the handle of her suitcase and stepped in to give me a one-armed hug. It was weak compared to our usual squeeze-the-shit-out-of-each-other hugs. She broke it off quickly, gave my jacket a quick tug to straighten it out, and flashed me a smile that I thought was genuine.

“Knock ‘em dead, will you?” she said.

“That’s the plan.”

She dropped her head and turned and I watched her go.

She kept her head down, eyes glued to the sidewalk, and made her way to the entrance, where she ducked in line behind the throngs of other people making their way inside to check in for their flights.

I kept my eyes trained on her until I lost sight of her in the sea of strangers.

I sighed and slid my hands into my jean pockets. “Well, it was fun while it lasted.”

Cars started honking at me as soon as I got back behind the wheel. They wanted my spot, so I gave it to them, cranking the wheel and pulling back out into traffic knowing I had a long drive ahead of me.

Traffic inched slowly away from the airport before it came to a dead stop where everyone was trying to merge off the terminal drive. I pulled out my phone and shot a message to my sister, telling her that I blew it with Hailey.

She sent me a message back in less than a minute saying we could sit down for drinks and talk about it soon. She was coming to visit on Thursday to meet up with some big money clients for her hotel and she’d squeeze me in.

At least I still had Katie to keep me sane and help me make sense of what went wrong and maybe, just maybe, help me set it right again.