Page 112 of The Business of Love Box Set 1: Books 1 - 4

JACKSON

T he bartender of the hole-in-the-wall bar attached to my hotel eyed the three empty whiskey glasses in front of me.

I’d sucked them all dry over the past hour and my head was beginning to buzz—not unpleasantly.

The booze muddled my thoughts just enough to take the edge off.

I was still more than a little upset, but the anger and the hurt weren’t as sharp as they had been when I first walked through the doors.

The bartender nodded at the glasses. “Another?”

I shook my head. “I should probably slow down.”

“A beer then? On the house.”

I’d have to have been a fool to turn down an offer like that. “Thanks, man.”

The bartender poured me a foam-topped beer and set it down on a black cardboard coaster.

The music playing was some classic eighties rock and I could hear every lyric through the speakers.

There was hardly anyone in the place. The bar was quiet save for three taken booths, but those were occupied by businessmen who were sitting on their phones or computers, not making conversation.

“Had a rough day?” the bartender asked me.

I glanced at his nametag. His name was Brody. I tipped my head back and took a long pull from my beer. I used the back of my hand to wipe foam from my upper lip. “Rough is an understatement.”

“Want to talk about it?”

I chuckled. “You’re the closest thing to a bartender straight out of a nineties movie that I’ve ever met.”

Brody flashed a white smile. All that was missing was a toothpick pinched between his teeth.

“You’re not the first person to tell me that.

But hey, I don’t have anything left to do for the evening.

I’m just trying to run out the clock. If you got problems you want to air out, I’ve got ears.

And if my regular weeknight Joe-blows were here, they’d tell you I also give pretty sound advice. ”

He seemed like a nice enough guy, and truth be told, I did want someone to talk to about this shit.

But there was nobody I could turn to. I didn’t want to sell out Hailey’s secret.

If she hadn’t been ready for me to know about the baby, then she certainly wasn’t ready for other people to know about it.

The only person I could tell in good conscience was my sister. Katie wouldn’t speak a word of it to anyone and Hailey would understand why I needed someone to confide in.

But children and pregnancies in general were a tough subject to discuss with my sister.

Me bitching about my problems would cost her more than my peace of mind was worth.

I wouldn’t put her in a position like that.

Katie wanted kids more than anything and she’d recently found out that probably wasn’t in the cards for her.

She’d been heartbroken.

How could I call her for support over a problem she would pay top dollar to have?

The answer was simple. I couldn’t.

Kim was the only other person I’d consider talking to about this, but again, I didn’t want to sell Hailey out like that and blab my big mouth off to our friends before she was ready to come forward with the news—if she ever decided she wanted people to know.

So Brody was all I had.

“I just found out that my best friend is pregnant,” I said.

Brody nodded like he was agreeing with what I was saying and cocked his head to the side. “Is this good or bad news?”

“That’s not the right question.” I sighed and leaned back in my stool. “The right question is, whose baby is it?”

“All right.” Brody crossed his arms and arched a thick black eyebrow.

“Whose baby is it? Please don’t say your father’s.

I had a guy in here two weeks ago who found out his girl was having an affair behind his back with his old man and she was pregnant and…

” Brody trailed off and shuddered. “Took me a couple days to trust strangers enough to talk to them about personal shit, you know?”

I smiled. “No. Not my dad’s. Mine.”

“Ah,” Brody said knowingly. “Of course. When did you find out?”

I glanced at the watch on my wrist. “About two hours ago.”

“And this friend of yours is just a friend? Or there’s a potential for more?”

“We’ve been best friends since high school.

She’s been there for all my successes and failures and I’ve been there for hers.

But things recently shifted between us and sex became part of the equation.

Then shit got weird. She bailed. I stopped communicating properly.

And it all went to hell in a handbasket.

Then, right when I finally realize what I want and what I need and I make a grand gesture and fly all the way here to tell her how I feel, I find out she’s been keeping a huge secret from me. ”

Brody stroked his clean-shaven jaw. He had several rings on all of his fingers.

I noticed one of them was a claddagh ring with the heart and crown held between two hands.

The others were plain bands of silver save for one that had a vine pattern pressed into it.

The nails of his ring fingers were painted in chipped black polish.

“I hope I’m not overstepping here, friend, but it is her secret to keep. Isn’t it?”

“Yes, but—”

“But nothing,” Brody said simply. He wasn’t dismissive but he was firm. “You know how you feel right now? Like how your brain has turned to mush in your skull and you’ve lost your appetite and all you can do is sit and think and stare off into space?”

His words were startlingly accurate. “Yes.”

“Try feeling that on steroids. That’s what this girl of yours is going through.

This is happening to her body, man. Not to someone else’s.

This is her burden to bear first and foremost. If she needed more time without you in the picture to figure it out?

Well, I think that’s fair of her. Don’t you? ”

I grimaced and gulped down a bunch of beer. “So I’m being an ass?”

“I didn’t say that.”

“It was implied.”

“Perhaps. All I’m saying is if she needs time and space, those are easy things to give a person.”

His words rang true but I felt like I’d already stolen those things from her.

I found out about the baby in a way that was outside of Hailey’s control.

She hadn’t been ready to have that conversation with me and I overreacted, made her feel like shit, and left without giving her a chance to try to express her feelings and where her head was at.

Other than her saying she couldn’t do this.

What had she meant by that? Did she mean she couldn’t do this, as in me and her? As in a relationship? Or had she been talking about the baby?

My stomach rolled over.

Brody leaned over and rested his elbows on the bar. “What do you want, man? Forget about all the other variables for a minute. What do you want?”

Hailey. Her name rang clearer in my mind than any other thought had that evening.

“Her,” I said. “I want her.”

“Why?”

“Why?” I asked.

Brody nodded. “Yes. Why do you want her?”

I frowned at the question. I didn’t entirely understand what he was fishing for but I decided to answer nonetheless.

“I want to be the guy who makes her happy. I want to be in her corner like I always have. I want to push her. I want to remind her how powerful she is and that she can do anything she wants. I want a front-row seat to her life. I can’t imagine what my life would be like without her.

I don’t want to. I love her.” The words sounded so right in my own ears.

I love her. “I love her more than I’ve ever loved anyone else. ”

And it’s about time I get my shit together and show her just how much she means to me.

Brody straightened with a smile. “Sounds legit and well-intentioned to me.”

“Was there a wrong answer to that question?”

“Well, if you’d made it all about you, I would have pointed out how you were only thinking about yourself, not her. But you passed the test.”

“Damn,” I breathed. “You are wise.”

“I’m here every night except Mondays and Tuesdays.”

“Noted.” I fished my phone out of my pocket. The screen was a bit blurry and I gave my head a shake to try and dismiss the lingering fogginess of the alcohol in my system. I had to message Hailey. I had to put action behind my words and show her just how badly I wanted to be there for her.

Brody plucked a towel from behind the bar and began wiping down liquor bottles. He watched me text a frantic message out with an arched eyebrow. “Are you messaging her?”

I nodded and never tore my gaze from the screen.

“Should I look that over to make sure it’s coming across properly?” Brody offered. “No offense but I don’t think you can hold your whiskey all that well, man.”

I laughed. I liked this guy and his transparent honesty. He would be an easy client for me to set someone up with if he was single.

“No, I’ve got this,” I said. “I’m just sending her the name of the hotel and my room number to see if she wants to stop by so we can talk. I don’t check out until eleven tomorrow, so I can wait. I can wait as long as it takes.”

By the time I hit send, I was already grinning like an idiot, picturing what my life might look like with Hailey as my woman, not just my friend.

I could picture myself rolling out of bed half asleep and padding down a long hallway to a yellow baby nursery where our little one was crying.

I picked the baby up and went to the kitchen where I warmed up a bottle and propped myself up in one corner of the sofa while doing the early-morning feed so Hailey could sleep in.

I could imagine her finding me and the baby asleep on the sofa and her scolding me for not waking her up and promptly cuddling up beside me and resting her cheek on my shoulder.

Yes. I could picture it all right.

And I wanted it. I wanted all of it.