Page 8 of The Alien Who Saved Christmas

She frowned and leaned closer to him across the table. “Yeah… This is going to sound nuts… but are there any other girls in this town? I haven’t seen any.”

His dark brows soared. “Females? On Corono? Gods, no.”

Sadie blinked. “No other women on this whole planet ?”

“Likely in this whole system.”

Crap. That wasn’t good. Being the only girl at a bar was socially awkward. Being the only girl in a solar system was just asking for trouble.

“Why are you surprised at this?” Xane demanded, reading her face. “Females are rare. They would be welcomed and pampered on far more luxurious worlds. Of course, they would choose better places to live.”

“Women are rare? You’re kidding.”

“Why would I jest about the extinction of females?”

“Because it’s not true! There are plenty of women. On Earth, we outnumber men.”

“Impossible.” He crossed all four of his arms over his chest. “In every known world, the females are all but gone. Especially, the non-hideous ones, like you.”

“Aw, you say the nicest things.”

Xane ignored her dry tone. “You should have kept the robes on. These men are too drunk and beaten down to immediately attack you. But that is pure luck. Do you have any idea what you risked in coming to this place alone, looking as you do?”

“I guess I should have brought my hand sanitizer.” Sadie took a sip of the sludgy brown liquid in her triangle-shaped glass. “Melted aliens smell awful though…” She stopped short, registering the taste of her drink. “Hang on. What is this?”

“ Leegos .Be cautious.It’s strong.”

“ This is Legos?” Sadie almost laughed. “It’s chocolate!”

Maybe not exactly Earth chocolate, but close enough to be almost indistinguishable.

Testing her theory, Sadie finished the whole thing in three large gulps, ignoring the way Xane’s extraordinary eyes widened in alarm.

She took a second to see if she felt any burning, tingling, or other buzziness.

Nope. The aliens’ super-strong drink was literally a chocolate milkshake.

However they metabolized cocoa; it must have been way different than humans, because she felt fine.

Xane watched her closely for signs of inebriation and/or death. “Most beings your size would now be passing out.” He sounded halfway impressed.

Sadie snorted. “Lightweights.” She signaled the robot waiter for another milkshake.

Calories didn’t count when you were kidnapped by extraterrestrials.

All she’d had to eat in weeks were flavorless nutrition cubes from the See-Through Alien Kidnappers’ supplies.

“I’d offer you some, but it might interfere with the drugs in your system.

You need to be careful, until you recover your strength. ”

He glowered at her. “My strength is ten times what yours is.”

“There’s no need to be embarrassed, Xane. You’re sick. Everyone gets sick.”

“I’m not sick.”

“Do you want some soup? Do they have soup in space?”

He sighed like he was suffering. A lot.

The man was not in the mood to talk about his frailty, so she let it drop. For now. Grabbing a new drink from the robot, she considered her next move. “Okay, so women are valuable on this planet.” She mused to herself, getting back on track. “Can I make that work for us?”

Xane’s jaw tightened. “If you wish to trade sex for coins, you will do it without my input.” He intoned.

She flashed him an aggravated look. “I’m not an intergalactic hooker, Xane. Jesus! That’s not what I meant. I won’t sleep with someone to solve my money problems.”

His tension eased slightly. “You have money problems?” He scoffed. “You spent eighty thousand credits like they were sand this afternoon.”

“Hence the money problems. I used all my cash buying you.”

“That was stupid.”

“You’re welcome.”

“Regardless of your poor choices, your finances are not an issue. You are a non-hideous woman. All you have to do is exist, and the universe’s most powerful males will beg for you.”

“That’s incredibly gender normative.”

“Is that a positive thing?”

“It’s a negative thing, actually. What if I don’t want a powerful man? What if I wanted a powerful woman or to stay powerfully single?”

“You are attracted to females?”

“Not really, but I could be.”

“It would be as thankless for you, as it is for most males. Women are nearly extinct.”

“No, we aren’t. I’m a woman and I’m not extinct. Your universe is sexist. And also way too binary. Don’t men go with men around here?”

“Of course they do. Women are nearly extinct.”

“Women are not extinct!” She reiterated and then quickly lowered her tone. “Look, my point is, if they were less toxic, maybe your ‘males’ would have an easier time getting dates. That’s all I’m saying.”

He paused for a beat too long, considering her words. “Do you have a male, back in your universe?”

“Not since last summer. There was a whole big thing, with my ex and his high school girlfriend getting back together at a waterpark. We broke up.” She waved Wesley aside, because he’d never been that interesting. “You’re the only man in my life, big guy.”

Xane’s eyes jumped to hers.

“It’s best that we stay together.” She pointed out logically. “I don’t think anybody else is going to help you, and you need help.”

Two sets of clawed fingers drummed on the tabletop, as if he was irritated by the insinuation that he required care. He was always kind of irritated, though. “You should focus on acquiring a husband.”

“Huh?” Sadie squinted at that non sequitur.

“Countless men will be vying to save you from your bad decisions.” He sounded exasperated that she didn’t know that. “Pick a mate from some wealthy planet. He will pay your way off of Corono. If you will not consider getting paid for sex, you should consider marriage.”

She scoffed at that insane idea. “Thanks, but I think I’ll take a hard pass on being a mail-order bride to Thanos.”

“Whoever that is, you do not need to accept him. Choose another. You can choose anyone . Kings and emperors. You are a one-in-a-million find. There is an endless supply of rich males who will give you whatever you wish.”

“I just wish to get off this planet and go home. So do you, right?”

“Yes. But my options are more limited than yours.”

“Says who?”

“Everyone! How do you not know this?”

She shrugged. “On Earth, I come from a town called Toledo. In Toledo, we don’t wait around for rich guys to save us. We do it ourselves.”

“On your own, you are sure to die.” He predicted sourly.

“But I’m not on my own, now. I have you!” She flashed Xane her best and brightest, “I’m a super-rare woman, don’t you wanna hang out with me?” grin. “So, how about you listen to my idea? We team up and rescue each other.”

His turquoise gaze came back to hers and held steady for another long moment. “Why me?” He finally asked.

“I have really good instincts about people. Did I tell you that? That’s why I bought you at the auction. I got this feeling like… together we would be better than we are alone. Do you feel that, too?”

Xane stared at her.

“I trust you.” She summarized, because he still seemed baffled. “I think I’m safe with you. I’ve never felt so sure about anyone before. That has to mean something.”

“You’re serious about this.” He decided, like he hadn’t been completely positive until now. “It isn’t a trick, or a lack of options, or the drugs confusing my mind. You’re just… crazy.”

“I’m not crazy. It all makes sense, if you think about it.”

“It doesn’t make sense. No. I’m a Rtaharion. No one trusts me. No one feels safe with me. No one with an ounce of sense, anyway.”

She waved that aside. “We want the same thing, Xane.”

He chuckled in some dark and humorless way. “Oh, I doubt that.”

“Well, you want off this rock, right?”

“Yes.”

“So do I! And you’ve seen that I have the Lithium’s flying saucer, right?”

“Lythions.”

“That’s what I said. And once I get back to Earth, I won’t need a spaceship. I drive a ’97 Honda. So, you can take it back to Ranarynn.”

“Rtaharion.”

“That’s what I said. You’ll drop me off before the corks pop on New Year's Eve and fly away home.” She waggled her fingers in the air to simulate his trip through hyperspace. “Easy. Effective. Sane . We both get what we want, and no one has to be a slave or a prostitute.”

Xane brooded over the plan, looking for flaws. He was such a fun date.

Sadie sipped her second chocolate shake and waited.

“This lunacy is why you need the Vipri?” He asked after a long length of time.

“Yep.” She shrugged. “But I don’t know a lot about this planet. Or any planet, besides Earth. That might complicate things.”

“It’s not complicated. Your lack of knowledge will kill you. That is very simple.”

She rolled her eyes at his morbid assessment. “With that kind of attitude, I would’ve been dead weeks ago and you’d be working in the octopus mines.”

“What is ‘octopus’?”

“Doesn’t matter. The point is, I could use your help and you could use my help.” She spread her palms. “Let’s work together.”

Xane was quiet again, his gaze centered on her persuasive smile. “Your teeth are very small.” He muttered. “Shiny ornaments, ill-suited for combat. You would be useless in a fight.”

“You do the fighting, then. Once you’re better and not so fragile.”

“A Rtaharion is never fragile.”

Sadie kept talking, ignoring his touchiness. “Meanwhile, I’ll do the part where we try crazy shit and steal ducklings.” She arched a brow. “What do you say?”

Xane considered that distribution of labor, his eyes still on her face. “Dammit.” He muttered and the word was defeated.

Sadie beamed, taking that as an agreement. “Great! Now, if I create a distraction, can you figure out where the duckling is stashed?”

Xane might be her new teammate, but he was still pretty untrusting. “What kind of distraction?” He asked suspiciously.

She made a considering face. “I’m thinking Mariah Carey.”