Page 15 of The Alien Who Saved Christmas

Better watch out,

Better not cry,

He looks like an Easter chick and not a Christmas guy,

Vipri Claus is coming to town!

From “Vipri Claus is Coming to Town”

A Christmas Carol for Non-Earthlings by Sadie Malone

“Capturing me will do you no good!” The Vipri grandly proclaimed.

“I am Lord C’don. My people are the greatest and most learned race in the universe.

We would never lower ourselves to serve a Rtaharion and a…

a…” he frowned at Sadie, his beak somehow turning down at the corners, “creature.” He gave a lofty sniff through his weird nostrils. “I’d sooner die.”

The little guy was kind of a jerk.

Xane grunted, clearly not very worried about the possibility of Lord C’don choosing death. “That’s acceptable to me.”

December 25 th , they’d woken up to the Vipri shouting curses. It was an unusual, but very welcomed Christmas present. Their pilot had regained consciousness. Thank you, Santa! Unfortunately, he wasn’t happy about the cage, and Xane refused to let him out.

To be fair, Sadie wasn’t arguing with that call too much, because if Lord C’don took off running, she wasn’t sure how she’d stop him. He only reached her waist and was covered in yellow down, but he looked fast. She needed the aristocratic duckling to talk to her.

She spared her maybe-husband a look. “Don’t kill him, yet. He’s going to join forces with us.” She tried to sound more confident than she felt. She glanced back at their… guest. “Do you know how to fly this spaceship, by any chance?”

He gave a dismissive snort. “Of course.”

“Great! We happen to be hiring pilots, and you just got the job.”

“Why would I want to work for you?”

“Because I’ll beat you to death, if you refuse.” Xane intoned.

“Also, we’re your best way off this planet.” Sadie told Lord C’don, going for more carrot and less stick. “You’ve got flying skills, and we’ve got a ship. See how we can help each other?”

The yellow fuzzball’s black eyes darted back and forth between Sadie and Xane, clearly not convinced. “This is a Class H-77 Cruiser. It takes two pilots to fly. Even a Rtaharion should know that.”

Xane didn’t dispute it, which probably meant it was true. He loved to dispute everything. It was the “default grouchy” thing.

Sadie arched a brow at Lord C’don and upped the ante. “Can the other Vipri fly? The one you were with yesterday? Because, we can rescue him, too.”

That focused Lord C’don’s attention. “You would help me save my offspring?” He asked in a way less aggrieved tone.

“The other Vipri is your baby?” Sadie gasped in horror.

“Jynn is an adult, clearly , but yes. He’s my heir. He was taken to the blue salt mines.” Feathery hands gripped the bars, in sudden desperation. “If you were to help him, I would be forever in your debt.”

Xane glanced Sadie’s way. “We are not rescuing prisoners from the blue salt mines.” He warned.

Sadie frowned at him. “It’s the right thing to do. Even if we didn’t need Jynn, we can agree that freeing slaves is…”

“No.”

“Just for argument’s sake, let’s think about…”

“No.”

She huffed out an aggravated breath at his stubborn interruptions. “Do you have a better idea on our next move?”

“Yes. Not rescuing prisoners from the blue salt mines. That is my idea, and it is far superior to your scheme, because it does not end in certain death.”

“I don’t have a ‘scheme.’ I just want to brainstorm the possibility of maybe…”

“ No. ”

Sadie’s mouth tightened in annoyance.

“Together, Jynn and I can fly this ship.” Lord C’don chimed in urgently.

“All you have to do is save him, and we can all be free of this wretched place.” He turned pleading eyes at Xane.

“Please, Rtaharion. You have a woman, but you know how difficult it is for the rest of us to have offspring. It took all the scientific advancements of my people to create enough children to sustain our kind. Jynn is my noble line’s future. ”

Xane shook his head, unmoved. His attention stayed on Sadie. “We do not need two Vipri. This man is our hostage…”

“ Guest .”

He kept talking, ignoring her hasty correction. “…so, he will teach one of us how to copilot or suffer the consequences.”

“I won’t leave this planet without my heir!” Lord C’don interrupted hotly. “Nothing you do will change my mind!”

Xane’s eyes narrowed, and he started forward, as if willing to take up that challenge.

Sadie quickly darted in front of him. “Hang on.” She flashed Lord C’don her best customer-service smile over her shoulder.

“Just give us a sec, okay?” She grabbed one of Xane’s many hands.

“Come here, alien.” She dragged him out of the room, so they could finish this discussion without the duckling listening in.

They needed to present a united front to their hostage/guest.

“You are as much an alien here as I am.” Xane objected, as she hustled him away. “ More. At least my people know this planet exists. That is beyond what your species can boast.”

For all his complaints though, he didn’t try to escape her grasp. Sadie’s fingers couldn’t even fully encircle his huge wrist, but Xane still allowed her to pull him into the control room.

“We are not murdering someone on Christmas morning.” She told Xane sternly, gesturing towards their lovingly decorated tree/bush.

He didn’t respond. His turquoise eyes were fixed on her fingers, which were still resting on his skin. She doubted he was captivated by her chipped-up, candy-cane-patterned manicure.

He was captivated by her touch.

Instead of pulling back, her fingers caressed his arm, admiring his muscle tone. He was delightfully warm. Like, way warmer than humans. She wanted to run her hands all over him… No. Hang on. Sadie needed to stop before she began stripping the guy’s clothes off.

She wasn’t totally sure how this insta-marriage deal worked, but she knew she was incredibly aroused by her new maybe-husband. His eyes and his body and his gentleness when he touched her. She was having all kinds of fantasies about the man.

It was way too early for them to have sex. Sadie was a respectable girl, so they needed to wait until at least the third date. She was serious about that. Of course, she was also super-attracted to Xane, so she was willing to be generous on what qualified as a “date” on an alien planet.

She’d added up their various interactions every which way, but she only counted one date, so far.

The Lego bar had been drinks and karaoke.

That totally equaled a date, in her mind.

But their meet-cute at the slave auction was not making the cut.

No way. Sex would have to wait until she got two more distinct outings.

Sadie cleared her throat and pulled her fingers off his arm. “Sorry, I…” A new thought occurred to her. “Um, are you okay with touching?” They hadn’t really discussed consent, and that was vital.

Nothing. He was still gazing down at the spot where she’d been rubbing his green skin.

“Xane?”

He jolted, like he suddenly realized she was speaking to him. “What?”

“Are you okay with me touching you?”

He laughed. Literally. The gigantic alien gave a startled bark of laughter, like she’d just said something hilarious. Even if she didn’t exactly get the joke, she was happy to have amused him.

“Yes.” He cleared his throat, trying to regain control of his emotions. “Touching is acceptable to me.”

“Good.” Sadie was pleased with their communication. It was so important in a maybe-marriage. “Anyway, back to business: Lord C’don is our best chance off this rock and he’s not going to help us, if we don’t rescue his son.”

Xane snorted. “Oh, he’ll help us. I’ll make sure of it.”

“ Or we can just rescue his son.”

“Impossible. Once a slave enters the blue salt mines, they do not leave.”

“Says who?”

“Well, no one from the blue salt mines says it, that’s for certain… Because none of them ever leave. ”

Sadie rolled her eyes at his negativity. “You’re more fun when you’re laughing, you know that? Let’s flip the script here.”

“I have no idea what that means.”

“It means: I want to turn things around. Shift the focus.” She pantomimed a sweeping camera motion with her palms. “Like with a movie…? I took a cinema studies class, last spring.”

He regarded her blankly.

“You guys don’t have movies in space?” Sadie guessed and then waved it aside. “Doesn’t matter.” She refused to get sidetracked. “Forget what’s supposed to be impossible, alright? Instead, we’ll think of how we can achieve our goals and just work backwards from there. Make sense?”

“Very little you say makes sense. You believe that if you talk enough, I will be persuaded to help you embark on some suicidal scheme, but I am not about to fall for…”

Sadie cut him off. “We have the same scheme.”

“Do we?” Xane’s gaze skimmed over her body, and he gave a skeptical snort. “No. I suspect you and I have far different desires, woman.”

She disregarded that comment. “Well, we both want to get off this planet. Now, is there a better way out of here than on this spaceship?”

“No.”

“And we need two pilots to fly it, right?”

“Yes.”

“And we have one, who will cooperate, if we rescue his son. Then, we’d have two pilots and a spaceship and a way out of here.” She paused meaningfully. “You see how my idea gets us to our goal?”

All four arms crossed over his chest. “Except your idea is impossible and doomed to fail. I have mentioned this.”

Sadie tried a different tactic. “If my plan wasn’t impossible and doomed to fail… how would you pull it off?”

His eyebrows compressed, as if the question confused him. “But it is impossible and doomed.”

“Sure. Right. Totally get that.” Her eyes gleamed, not giving up. Sadie kept moving forward. Always. “…But what if it wasn’t? Just think about it logically. You’re a soldier, aren’t you?”