Page 21 of The Alien Who Saved Christmas

Christmas day will find me, where my spaceship gleams,

It’s our home, we live in chrome,

In the rocket of our dreams.

From “I’ll Be Home for Christmas in a Rocket Ship”

A Christmas Carol for Non-Earthlings by Sadie Malone

Xane faced the wall, trying to decide if this was the luckiest he’d ever been or abject torture.

When they’d returned to the ship, Sadie had bemoaned her smell. Repeatedly. Hiding her feminine scent in public had been logical and necessary, but it still seemed to distress her. Xane did not like seeing his wife distressed. It was his job to make her content.

Wanting to please her, he’d suggested that she take a shower. To him, it seemed a very simple solution. Yet Sadie had gaped like he had proposed something miraculous.

“Aliens have showers?” She’d gasped. “Where? I couldn’t find any. I’ve been using that icky-foaming stuff for weeks!”

Her outraged tone was adorable. “That is for hands, faces, and prehensile tails. Do they not have foam-powder in the Milky Way? It is used for small areas.” He’d taken her to the ship’s largest hygiene chamber and showed her how to access the bathing controls.

Inside the showering pod, multiple jets of water turned on, automatically warming.

“This is how we bathe our entire bodies.”

Sadie’s excitement had been beyond measure. “Best Christmas present ever!” She clapped her hands together. “Xane, you are a genius. A beautiful plumbing genius .” She’d instantly kicked off her shoes. “I cannot wait to get clean! Is there a way to wash the Lythion robes, too?”

“Yes, of course. In a cleansing machine. I will show you. We will need to take the fortune in credits from the pockets, first.” Sadie seemed to have no conception of her new riches. “I can use the ship’s computer system to bank your casino winnings, if you like.”

“Oh, you take the coins, Xane. You can use them to buy stuff for your sheep.”

He’d made a frustrated sound at her generosity. The woman was too sweet for her own good. “You must think of your own welfare…”

Then, she’d pulled the Lythion robes over her head, and all of Xane’s logical complaints were lost. She wore the strangest undergarments he’d ever seen. A triangle of pink fabric covered the juncture of her thighs, and her breasts were barely contained in a semi-transparent lacy sling.

It was mesmerizing.

Xane’s brain had stalled, his eyes roaming all over her flawless skin. Memorizing every bit he could see. Storing up the images so he could savor them in the long, lonely years to come.

“I will…” His tongue had felt too big for his mouth. “I will wait outside the room, for you to finish.”

“Hang on, I need you to help me get into this thing.” Sadie had said cheerily. “It’s too tall.”

“Lythions’ legs can lengthen.” His mind had been buzzing, so finding words was a struggle. “Can humans lengthen their legs?”

“Nope. You’ll need to lift me up, big guy.”

That was a terrible idea. Absolutely terrible.

It was just asking for trouble. Xane had moved forward, anyway.

His upper pair of arms seized her by the waist and deposited her in the shower pod, as quickly as possible.

He hadn’t let his hands linger, but even the innocent brush of his fingers against her skin sent fire through his blood.

After he released her, the feel of her flower-soft flesh still lingered on his palms.

“I’m going to wash my underwear, while I’m in here.” Sadie had continued. “You should face the wall, unless you want to see me naked.”

Was she jesting? Of course , he wanted to see her naked!

Still, Xane turned towards the wall, because her trust was more important than his desire. Now he listened to her hum, while he slowly lost his mind. It was worth every bit of madness. As with everything surrounding his wife, embracing insanity brought a kind of bliss.

“I think we should break Jynn out of the blue salt mine tonight.” Sadie called from the shower pod, oblivious to his lustful fantasies. “That will give the town enough time to settle down from the casino thing, but not enough time to replace Elf or notice his key is missing.”

Xane shook his head.

She must have seen the motion. “You don’t think so?

We could wait until tomorrow, I guess. But the more time we stay here, the bigger the odds someone finds the ship.

It’s hidden, but it’s not that hidden. And I feel like we have some Christmas magic helping us today.

Crazy criminal schemes always work best on Christmas.

Look at Mixed Nuts , Silent Night Deadly Night, Reindeer Games …

” She paused. “Wait… do the bad guys get caught in those movies?”

He ignored the parts of that remark that made no sense, which was most of it. “I am not disagreeing about your crazy criminal scheme. I am simply incapable of contributing anything useful to the discussion, at present.”

“Huh?” Sadie sounded confused. As usual, her happy, felonious plans consumed all her attention. “How come?”

“Because I am too painfully aroused to think of anything beyond water running all over your naked body.”

Silence.

“Oh.” Sadie finally said.

“Oh.” Xane agreed, darkly amused by his frustration and her goodness. Yes. Hathgarr would relish this situation. “Do you know what a Weakness is, wife?”

“Um… sure. It’s like the opposite of a strength.” She sounded confused by the question. “Why? Does it mean something different in your language?”

“When a Rtaharion speaks of a Weakness, generally he refers to the one thing he should avoid, at all costs. …And the one thing he most needs to survive. It gives him life. But in the end, it will break him to pieces.” Xane studied the metal sheeting on the wall, as if it held the mysteries of the Lost Constellation.

“Dangerous and irresistible. This is the quandary.”

“So it’s like loving someone.” Sadie translated. “You’re better because of your feelings. But caring also leaves you feeling vulnerable.”

“Rtaharions do not accept or give ‘caring’. The word has no meaning to us.”

“It means the same things as ‘Weakness’ means, only it’s a much nicer way to say it.

” Sadie told him dryly. “You know, Rtaharions might do better in the romance department, if you weren’t so down on the idea of feeling feelings.

You said you don’t get a lot of girls signing up to be your wives, right?

Not having a proper word for ‘caring’ might be why. ”

“There are few women on my planet. The ones we do have switch husbands often. The system works better without emotions.”

Sadie snorted, like that was nonsense.

She still did not understand how marriage really worked. Xane closed his eyes. As much as the idea of keeping one husband forever benefited him, he could not mislead her. It was wrong. The Weakness inside of him would not allow him to take advantage of his wife.

“ Women switch husbands often. ” He repeated stressing the words, so she would comprehend their meaning. “It is not like your Earth, where women are plentiful. Females have endless choice here, and they constantly trade one man for another.”

“Why in the world would they do that?”

“Why wouldn’t they?” Xane retorted.

“Because they’re happy with the husband they’ve got.” She made it sound simple. “Why not just pick a guy who makes your heart go boom and wants to keep you happy? Someone who really cares for you.”

Xane felt agitated, now. “Caring would be disastrous for the husband. This is why we have no word for it.” How did she still not understand? “The wife moves on, when another male offers her more or seems to be a better companion. The husband stays behind. Alone.”

“Oooooh.” Sadie breathed. “Because marriage is temporary. It would devastate him when she went away.”

“Yes. This emotion is Weakness and it is dangerous.”

Sadie considered the foundational belief of his people and snorted. “On the other hand, if the husband cared, maybe the wife wouldn’t go away in the first place. My mom and grandma were perfectly happy with their one-and-only husbands until the day they died.”

Xane refused to be captivated by the possibility of Sadie staying with him forever. No good would come from wishing. “The women think differently in this galaxy.” He muttered dourly. “You will learn.”

“Maybe you will learn they don’t think differently. Maybe your girls are switching husbands a lot, because all of your men are afraid to love them and it sucks. Maybe they’re just looking for someone with enough balls to risk getting their heart broken.”

That idea was so astounding, Xane turned to gape at her. “Rtaharions have plenty of balls! We do not… fuck.” His head snapped back around to the wall, his mouth going dry. He’d just seen far more than he was supposed to see.

Rather than delight him, it added to his misery. Gods! He’d known she’d be perfect, but she was perfect . Every centimeter of her was now imprinted on his mind. And all those smooth, wet, perfect curves were a few feet away and completely out of reach.

Xane stifled a groan.

In an effort to keep still, he quickly occupied his mind with the Earth songs she’d been singing in the bar. He tried to recall all the strange lyrics that she’d belted out, dancing around that stage and smiling.

Picturing that was not helping. Now, he was imagining her dancing around that stage and smiling, while naked.

Phlarge.

“I’m assuming we’re having this vocabulary lesson because you think I am your Weakness.” Sadie went on, like she’d somehow missed his lapse.

“I do not ‘think’ it. It is incontrovertible fact.” Xane got out in a strangled tone.

“Well, that’s good, because that means you’re learning to care about me. And I won’t stay maybe-married to someone who doesn’t care.”

“We are definitely-married.”

She ignored that. “I want emotions, Xane, that grow and deepen over time. They’re important , no matter what your dumb planet thinks.”