Page 28 of The Alien Who Saved Christmas

The word “woman” startled the octopus guard into looking in her direction. His eyes widened as he scanned her body. His weird little mouth opened, but no words came out.

Then Xane punched him. Two of his fists slammed out at once, plowing into the octopus’ face. The guy hit the sand with his eyes rolled back in his head. Hopefully, he was just unconscious and not dead. Could you kill an octopus by punching them? Did they even have bones to break?

“Rtaharion! Thank the gods.” Lord C’don looked close to tears. “You wouldn’t believe the indignities I’ve suffered. That ruffian pushed me down and used terrible language, didn’t he, Jynn?”

Jynn didn’t bother to respond. He was fixing his clothes.

“Move, you idiot.” Xane jerked Lord C’don to his feet. “We’re going back to the ship. That way. Now .” He pointed towards the fence. “Sadie, stay fucking close!”

After that, it was a race across the sand. Xane got them back into the open desert, but a clock was ticking. They didn’t have long before Vice-Corporal Siganthum-Rycen Lonel Lonel called in reinforcements. They had to launch the spaceship before someone stopped them.

“How long will it take to take off?” Sadie panted when they finally reached the ship. She was struggling to keep up. Running on sand was hard.

Lord C’don hesitated. “Well, these things take time…”

“You have two minutes.” Xane commanded and dragged him towards the control room.

Jynn looked around in distaste. “What a ghastly ship.” He trailed along behind, as Xane shoved Lord C’don towards the control panel. “You must be tragically poor.”

Sadie resisted the urge to smack him on the back of his head. “You’re the second pilot. Get in a chair. We have to go.”

“I don’t like flying.” Jynn complained. “It’s beneath me.”

“Do you like mining for blue salt?”

Jynn sighed in annoyance. “What if someone sees me in this piece of excrement? I’d be a laughingstock.” His eyes flicked towards one of the big monitors, and he seemed to perk up. “Oh, never mind. We’re not going anywhere.” He pointed at the screen. “The thrust crystal is black.”

That sounded bad. “Wait, what does that mean?”

“It means the ship won’t fly.” Jynn summed up, like she was stupid.

In unison, Sadie and Xane looked towards Lord C’don.

Lord C’don’s beady eyes darted around in panic. “Let’s not overreact…” His feathered hands were wringing together. “I’m sure we can figure something out. But you never would have rescued Jynn, if I told you the truth.”

Xane began cursing in so many alien languages the translator couldn’t keep up.

“It’s not my fault!” Lord C’don insisted. “The main thrust crystal is cracked. I imagine it’s why the Lythions landed on this dismal rock to begin with, instead of some more prosperous planet. No one could take off in a ship this damaged.”

“You little, yellow phlarge .” Xane made a grab for him.

Lord C’don scampered out of the way. “You would have done the same thing, in my place!” He gave a disparaging sniff. “…If you were smart enough to think of it, anyway.”

Sadie stood there, frozen, trying to make sense of this new disaster. “You lied? But we agreed to be a team!”

“I did what I had to do!”

“Why is there a feerin bush in here?” Jynn asked disinterestedly, gesturing towards the Christmas tree. “Ugh. This place is awful.”

Everyone ignored him.

“I told Sadie your kind was treacherous, and yet she helped you anyway.” Xane raged at Lord C’don. “And this is how you repay her?”

Lord C’don flinched. “I know I lied to you, woman. I apologize for the ruse. It was dishonorable. I will make it up to you.”

“How?” Xane bellowed. “Half of Corono is headed straight for us, because I didn’t have time to cover our tracks after saving him! ” He pointed at Jynn.

Jynn didn’t look very grateful. He ran a downy finger against the computer console, checking for dust and wrinkling his beak in distaste when he found it.

“Preserving my lineage was too important for me to get bogged down in other concerns.” Lord C’don patted his son’s back, like he was a prize horse. Jynn made a face and absently shifted away from the touch. “I don’t expect a nobody like you to understand the demands of a noble house, Rtaharion.”

Xane’s head tilted …and then he started for both of them, death in his eyes.

Sadie caught hold of his arm. “Killing the ducklings won’t help anything.”

“It will make me feel better.”

“Only in the short term. Focus on the bigger picture. Can we get another power crystal thingy? We have that money from the casino, right? I can buy one.”

“Yes, I can repair the ship, if we had another thrust crystal.” Lord C’don volunteered. “Jynn can help. Can’t you, Jynn?”

Jynn shrugged with zero enthusiasm. Escaping a hostile planet was clearly cutting into his plans to hate everything and sigh a lot.

“Get me a crystal, and our problems are solved.” Lord C’don promised Sadie.

“Then, I can finally get out of this dreadful place.” He clutched a wing to his breast, like a Shakespearean actor in search of a stage.

“Oh, how I long to return to the gentle ponds and swaying reeds of my homeland. All this sand chaps my feet.” He extended his webbed toes so they could commiserate over his damaged pedicure.

“You’re not coming with us.” Xane began opening cabinets and piling up supplies.

“If Sadie and I do somehow escape this mess, we do it alone. You can find your own way. She is too softhearted to let me kill you, but we’re sure as shit not helping you either.

You’ve endangered my wife, and that’s the last mistake you’ll ever make. ”

Lord C’don glanced Sadie’s way, like she might overrule Xane.

Sadie crossed her arms over her chest.

Lord C’don began to look a bit sickly, as he realized that he’d burnt all his bridges. “You can’t just abandon me, after everything we’ve been through together.”

Sadie scoffed at that bullshit.

“If you’re as smart as you think you are, you’ll learn to hide in the shadows of Corono and only emerge to forage in the dead of night.” Xane advised him ruthlessly. “Otherwise, you’ll soon be stuffing for a throw pillow.”

Lord C’don paled beneath his feathers. “It’s not fair! If you have to take your petty anger out on someone, blame Jynn. He was the one stuck in the mine!”

“Hey!”Jynn protested.

“I’m not staying on this abysmal planet.” Lord C’don snapped at him. “It’s nothing personal.” His eyes went back to Xane. “Rtaharion, we can make a deal, I’m sure. We’re both civilized men.”

“ Do I look fucking civilized to you? ”

Sadie cringed at his volume. “Xane, sweetie, keep moving forward. We can deal with that little jerk after he helps us fix the ship.”

“We don’t have time to replace the thrust crystal, Sadie! Our footprints will lead the other men here. We’ll have to leave this ship behind.”

She blinked, trying to rearrange her thoughts. “What?”

“We’re doomed if we stay.” Xane grabbed cartons of water capsules and shoved them into a bag. “We need to get across the desert and away from here. Now .”

“What’s across the desert?”

Xane spared her a meaningful look.

“You don’t know.” She realized, and her stomach sank. “You want us to just walk into the unknown?”

“Whatever’s out there, it’s better than staying put.”

Sadie shook her head, hating this plan. “I want to fix the spaceship. I like that idea.”

“We don’t have time.” Xane repeated, closing up his hasty bag of supplies. “We have to move.”

“We’ll come too.” Lord C’don persisted.

“Do we have to go with them?” Jynn moaned. “They’re so… common.”

“If you follow us, I’ll hunt you for food. I don’t care how unappetizing you taste.” Xane snapped, barely sparing them a look. “Sadie, come. We must hurry.”

“But, Xane, how are we going to climb all those mountains and…?”

“Rtaharion!” A new voice suddenly thundered from outside. “You might as well give up now! We have you and the woman surrounded!”