Page 26 of The Alien Who Saved Christmas

Peace on weird planets and mercies mild,

Humans and monsters reconciled.

…Please?

From “Hark! The Herald Aliens Sing”

A Christmas Carol for Non-Earthlings by Sadie Malone

“The Vipri was right.” Xane grumbled. “We should not have brought him on the mission.”

“Yeah, okay, Lord C’don has an attitude problem.” Sadie admitted. “But he’s gotten on board with the plan. Mostly.”

The two of them were scouting around the edges of the blue salt mine, looking for a way into the guard tower.

The moon overhead was bright enough that they didn’t need external lights, which was good and bad for their plan.

It meant they could move around the desert landscape without tripping over purple sand dunes, but it also meant they might be spotted.

Lord C’don was hiding near an outcropping of rocks, waiting for Xane and Sadie to give him a signal that they’d finished the hard work. Not very helpful, but at least he was out of the way.

Xane shook his head in annoyance, following her gaze. “We rescued that ungrateful Vipri from servitude in that tavern, and I have regretted it ever since. He is useless.”

That was kinda fair. Lord C’don had come along with them to facilitate the rescue, but he’d complained every step of the way. Physical exertion upset him, and he kept squealing when bugs skittered by.

“I think he’s scared of those cyborg-vampire-bats.” Sadie defended, pointing to the flying things circling above them. They looked like some unholy combination of flying rodent and digital camera. “Who can blame him?”

“I blame him.” Xane answered seriously. Rhetorical questions weren’t a thing for Rtaharions. “If he is terrified of drones, how will he find the courage to help free the slaves?”

“I’m sure he’s just getting his second wind. Besides, those things are a lot scarier than regular drones. They’ve probably got ray-guns attached to their wings.”

“Ray-guns?”

“From comic books. Rays shoot out and --like-- zap people.”

“A glint-weapon, you mean?”

Sadie’s eyebrows rose at his translation. “Hang on… You guys seriously have ray-guns? ”

“Not here on Corono.” He sighed in lament. “It is proprietary Rtaharion tech. Unfortunate. We could’ve rendered the guards unconscious with a glint-weapon and saved ourselves the effort of killing them.”

Sadie couldn’t think of anything to say to that.

Xane kept them hidden as the cyborg-vampire-bats buzzed overhead, but they didn’t seem to be a big concern for him. “See that boulder by the tower base?” He nodded towards it. “We will run to that, as soon as the drones pass by us.”

“Do you think they’ll spot us, sneaking around out here?”

“No. Their sensors face inward. They are interested in keeping prisoners contained, not keeping intruders out. Who would wish to break into a slave-camp?”

“People who want to rescue the slaves.”

“Which is no one, except you.”

“Except us , big guy.”

“No. It’s just you.”

“Have I mentioned it’s Christmas? Try and get into the holiday spirit, Xane. This is a night for peace and brotherhood.”

“We’re about to kill many men.”

“Only bad ones. It’ll be fine. Still seasonally appropriate, if you consider Die Hard a Christmas movie, which I totally do.”

Xane grunted. His attention was fixed on the guard tower, which was about three stories high. To Sadie, it resembled a forest service fire-lookout station. A not-very-large room, built atop very tall stilts. It allowed for sweeping views of the surrounding terrain.

There wasn’t very much to see, though. Dirt and mountains stretched out into infinity. Not in a pretty “Arizona postcard” kind of way. In a “no one will ever find your body” kind of way. Everything looked desolate and spooky and hopeless.

A black gate blocked a hole, which was dug into the side of one of the ugly hillsides. Aside from the guard tower and the drones, it was the only sign that anyone had ever been there, at all.

“Is that the entrance to the blue salt mine?” She guessed, gesturing towards the unassuming gate.

“Yes.”

“What exactly is blue salt, anyhow?”

“Fuel for ships.” He sent her a half-amused, half-surprised look at the question. “Aside from you, it is the most valuable thing on this planet.”

“Oh.”

“It is yet another reason I do not trust the Vipri. He might forsake his heir to steal blue salt and make himself rich.”

“Lord C’don wouldn’t do that! He loves Jynn.”

“Vipri are not capable of love.”

“Of course they are. Everyone is.”

Xane seemed to think that over. “How are humans alerted that their caring is deep enough for love?”

“No one alerts us. It takes time and self-reflection. One day, you examine your heart and know the care you feel has grown into love.”

He nodded, still watching the tower.

“Most parents know that they love their kids.” She insisted, caught up in her defense of the persnickety duckling. “Lord C’don wants to save Jynn. He’s got no reason to screw us over.”

“He does not need a reason. Vipri are duplicitous. I’ve mentioned this repeatedly.”

“His part in your plan is pretty small. You and I will handle the guards…”

He cut her off. “ I will handle the guards. You will stay here.”

“What are the odds of that happening?”

Xane sighed. “About one in a million. And even those chances seem optimistic.”

Sadie ignored his morose tone. “What can I say? I don’t like to play it safe.” No matter the risks, she intended to stick right to Xane’s side, ensuring that he was okay.

“And I do not like to alter plans while we are in the middle of them.”

“I’m not altering the plan, just making it better.” She touched his face. “We’re better together than we are alone, Xane.”

Turquoise eyes found Sadie’s, warm and so beautiful they dazzled her. “I know.” He concurred. “There is a way to improve the plan, but you would need to take a larger role.”

She grinned, impulsively hugging him. “Thank you.”

He didn’t look happy, but he squeezed her back. “ I will handle the guards and open the gate, using the controls in the tower.” He persisted. “You will stay behind me. Yes?”

“I can take out a couple guys myself, if you want help. I still have some hand sanitizer.”

Xane kept talking, like that news wasn’t what he wanted to hear. “Once the gate opens, Lord C’don will go into the mine and unfasten the chains holding the slaves. There is one large lock, which can electronically control all the manacles. He should be able to free everyone.”

“That’s just like before.” Sadie pointed out. “I don’t see what changes…”

“You,” Xane interjected, “will get on the intercom and tell the slaves to flee. Tell them they’re free.

That is the difference. You are possibly the only one they will listen to.

Then, I will not have to kill the remaining guards in the tunnel, because the slaves will do it for us.

The mayhem they create will help us slip away and head back to the ship. ”

Sadie chewed her lip. “Why would the prisoners revolt on my say so?”

“You are a woman.” He said simply.

“That’s always the answer on this stupid planet.”

“It is the answer on every planet.” He paused. “But if we do this… everyone will know there is a woman on Corono.”

“They already know. I was in that Lego Tavern and at the Christmas market. Everyone heard Elf freaking out.”

“But your presence will be confirmed, and that is dangerous. Vice-Corporal Siganthum-Rycen Lonel Lonel is no doubt looking for you, already. If he knows you took part in a raid on his mine, he will redouble his efforts to find you, and he is a very dangerous man.”

“We’re flying out of here tonight and never coming back. Who cares what the octopus-guy thinks?”

“I care about everything and everyone who might threaten my wife.”

She automatically opened her mouth to say “maybe-wife” …And then didn’t. The words didn’t come. She stayed quiet, letting his claim on her stand, because it seemed kind of exactly right.

Xane glanced over at her, his brow furrowing in confusion when she didn’t correct him.

Sadie cleared her throat. “You’re caring about a lot of stuff all of a sudden.”

“Only ‘stuff’ that impacts you. I believe it’s because I have underestimated the amount of emotions you engender. I have already reached the deepest level of caring for you.”

Sadie’s heart went boom , as she realized what he meant. “You love me?”

“Yes. But, I am not going to tell you, yet.”

“Oh, it’s okay. You can tell me.” She urged eagerly, hearts in her eyes.

He shook his head. “I want to prove to you that I have listened to your instructions and grown my emotions with much time and self-reflection.”

Shit. Had she really told him that? She was an idiot. “Those are terrible instructions. Ignore them. It’s fine to love me now. I don’t mind a bit.”

“It’s important that you see my commitment.” He insisted stubbornly. “I want to be a good husband to you.”

“You’re already a good husband to me.”

Xane beamed. It transformed his whole face. “Again.” He ordered in a hopeful tone.

Sadie sighed in frustration. “You’re my husband.” She repeated, because she knew that’s what he meant. At least one of them should hear the words they wanted.

Two of his hands cupped her face, and he gave her a smacking kiss, like she’d made him the happiest guy on Planet Vulcan. “Thank you, Sadie Malone. I will earn this honor. I swear it.”

It was hard to stay irritated with the guy.

Xane gave her another quick kiss, like he just couldn’t help himself, and then reluctantly moved back. “Now, we must refocus on the plan.” He continued, as if this were just an average conversation. “What are your thoughts?”

Sadie struggled to keep up. “Huh?”

“We are debating the merits of you using the intercom.”

“Oh.” She tried to think. It was kind of important that they stay alive, so he could profess his eternal love later. “Well, that moves things along faster, right?”

“In theory.”

“And that gets us back to the ship faster and blasting off faster.” She nodded. “It’s safer, because it gets us away from here. It makes sense.”

He made a face. “I do not dispute the logic. But it is still not my preferred course of action. Inside of me there are,” he tapped his chest. “ il logical forces at work.”

“Weakness?”

“ Caring. ” He sounded disgruntled. “It tells me that even a slight risk to you is unacceptable. Emotions make a far more compelling case than my mind does.”

“Same for me! Except my emotions tell me, I have to do everything possible to keep you safe.” Her own “caring emotions” were growing deeper all the time.

She didn’t need self-reflection to feel them filling her heart.

“I guess that’s what makes us such a great team.

And by the way… this for sure counts as a third date. ”

His eyes locked on hers. “I have achieved three of the dried fruits?”

“Fruit?” It took her a second to translate what he meant.

“Oh dates! No, I mean ‘dates’ like romantic outings. So far we’ve been to a bar and a casino.

Now we’re taking a moonlit stroll. All very classic, respectable dates.

Hell, I’ll even give you extra points and count this as a trip to the beach.

I mean, we’ve got sand. That’s close enough. ”

“When I achieve three dates, we have sex.” He reminded her, not very interested in what the word meant, just what it got him.

“Not until after the jailbreak, big guy.”

He made an impatient sound. “But what if I perish during the attack?” It was very nearly a whine. “Then, I will get no sex, at all.”

“Try to survive.” She patted his arm. “I’m really hot for your body.”

His jaw locked, and he looked back towards the guard tower. “Give me four minutes.” He finally decided. “Then, I’ll open the gate to the mines, and you can follow me into the tower. Don’t worry about being seen. Everyone else will be dead.”

“In four minutes? How are you going to kill all those guards in four minutes? ”

“I am hot for your body, too.”