Page 7

Chapter Five

Dereck

S he’s gone. It’s like she has vanished into thin air. I have searched for her for months. Money have been thrown at the greatest detectives; they came up with the same thing…no result. Even her mother remains mum, never answering me. Even when I place her mom’s job on the line, she doesn’t respond.

Where could she have gone? Miranda. I wish I had done it differently. Months have passed and now I’m married, empty, pained. In the eyes of my peers, I’m strong, successful …. powerful. I have no power, the most powerful thing I had was love and now…she is gone. I want to know that she is safe, happy…comfortable. Is she okay?

Did she keep our baby? I know in my soul she would never get rid of our child. A child that I would never get to see take its first steps. Does the child have notable Fairisles dimples, and silver eyes?

I haven’t felt a thing since she left my home. Even on my wedding day, as my gaze set upon Ilyana’s, my heart longed for …. Miranda. I imagined her face when I said I do, it’s the only way the wedding could have happened.

I live for power and duty. Duty is what made me lay with Ilyana who is now pregnant with my second child.

“Hey,” Ilyana voice creeps behind me.

I didn’t even realize I was daydreaming. To pull myself completely from my trance my finger tug at the root of my hair.

“Hey. Are you feeling, okay?” I ask, watching my wife walk around the home library, touching the spines of old books.

“I’m tired. Your child is going to be a soccer star.” As she was yet speaking, she pauses and places her hand on her protruding stomach.

I rise slowly. “Are you all right?”

With an outstretched hand, she flicks her hand to me. “Come feel.”

It doesn’t take me long to reach her. “Can I?”

In delight she takes my hand and places it on her stomach. “Say something.”

“Hello, baby…I’m your daddy, Dereck.” As I speak a small bump caresses my hand.

It’s amazing having your child react to your voice.

“I promise to love you till the end of time.”

Again, my child stretches its mom’s belly to touch me.

“Can you love me in time, Dereck?” Ilyana asks, her eyes sadden. Deep down inside she knows.

I move my hands away slowly from her stomach back to my side.

“Ilyana,” I sigh, not wanting to get her upset because I didn’t want to hurt the baby.

Her eyes begin to water. “We haven’t slept in the same bed since our baby announcement. Do you hate me so?

“I don’t hate you.” I put distance between us as I retreat behind my desk.

“No, you just don’t love me as much as her.” Her voice was beginning to rise, her cheeks were becoming bright red. Her wheat blonde hair is tied up in a simple bun. My wife Ilyana is the epitome of elegance and grace. She is also cunning and venomous. If she were a man, she would have been a perfect nominee for the Quarter Masters.

“What does she have that I don’t have? I won Ms. Lakeshore. I am rich, beautiful and intelligent,” she screeches, pulling down a book, clenching it in her hand.

“Ilyana. Think of the baby.”

She looks down at her stomach in disgust. “The baby, the baby. Everyone loves the baby. Fuck the baby. This child is about to get the love that I crave. That I deserve.”

“Don’t do anything stupid,” I warn her.

Tears run down her face. “Why can you love anyone, but me? Me, who made you rich. Me, who gave you power. Me who stands by you. Where is Miranda? Where is that bitch?” She threw the book across the room, it almost hit my shoulder.

One second I am behind the desk. The next, I had her pinned against the library shelves, “Go on. I dare you to utter a bad word about her again.”

The threat remains like a steel wall between us.

She hiccups as tears stream down her cheeks, her eyes search my face. “I only want you Dereck.”

“Wipe your tears, Ilyana. You think I don’t know about you and Aaron?” I chuckle.

Her eyes widen in despair. “Aaron, I would never.”

“Ily, Aaron and the others had bets on the table for you?”

She presses her hand against her chest. “Bets.”

“At least, you were pregnant before everything. I know for sure the child in your belly is mine,” I reply. No feeling of hurt or regret hits me. I am numb.

“You bet on me?” Her lips tremble.

“No, I heard about the bet at its end. After Aaron fucked you, he gloated actually,” I look down at my hands still seeing the faint bruises from hitting Aaron’s face for fucking my wife.

Ilyana stood still as she takes in the news, her hand resting on her belly.

“Dereck, I didn’t mean to, it just ? —”

Raising my hand I stop her mid explanation. “I would advise you to stay away from Henry and Aaron. But I doubt you will. It doesn’t matter any way.”

Her lips tighten, and she lifts her chin. “It doesn’t matter. I matter Dereck. I fucking matter. I’m your wife.”

I smile at the way she says the word wife. Not with love but venom and hate.

“It’s a decision I will regret for the rest of my life Ilyana.”

Tears of anger spill down her cheeks as she reaches for me. Her fingers are clawing, her nails are digging hard and desperate into my chest. “I just want you to want me, the way you want her.”

My gaze searches her face for anything that would make my heartbeat faster. To make the air around me still. Nothing.

“Maybe if you didn’t deceive me, maybe if you didn’t hang that threat over my head…”

She reaches for my shoulder, her voice trembles. “I’m sorry. Please Dereck….”

I pull away from her grasp, my tone is icy. “Be warned, you do anything to hurt my child, and I promise…I will hurt you in return.”

Her breathing is shallow as she wipes away her tears. “Of course. But Dereck.”

“Leave, Ilyana. I don’t need to see you till my child is born.” I don’t wait for her response, I turn my back to her, listening to her hurried steps exit the library.

* * *

PENNY

It was fun shopping with Zeeta. Today we got the “fuck me dress” that we were looking for. We talked about my new situationship with Tarek, and I did mention that Tarek was good in bed. But I couldn’t tell her exactly how good he was. After our mini exhibition show downstairs, I still can’t believe we had sex while some people watched. When he said focus on me, I felt like my brain did a factory reset. And while I was still processing all that happened, he picked me up in his arms like I weighed a feather. No struggle, no ‘ god girl you’re too big ’. Nothing of the sort. He wrapped his jacket around my waist and lifted my chubby ass up.

“Tuck your head in my neck,” he whispered softly. Naturally I was obliged. Nestling my head in the crook of his neck and closing my eyes. Even now I can vividly recall his scent–invigorating and fresh like a cool summer’s breeze. In that moment I felt delicate and protected. It’s a feeling I hadn’t experienced in a long time.

When we made it up to his room, dear god. I never had anyone act like they wanted me that much. It’s a beautiful thing to be wanted. Each touch, each nibble, made me feel sexy. It was like he couldn’t get enough of me. The things he did to me, if another man did it, I would feel sick, but with him, it felt sinful but right. I can still feel it, the way we came together and …oh god after.

“Squeeze it out let me see my cum leak out of you,” that’s what he said. God have mercy. The way he licked, sucked and worshipped me until I was coming again and again, gasping his name. And when he kissed me after, tasting both of us on his lips, it should make me want to pull away. With anyone else, I would have. Hell, I would have thrown up. But with Tarek? With Tarek, it was the most erotic thing I ever did.

“Dear Lord, have mercy,” I utter, not realizing that I am rocking in excitement and slightly bump the old man in the line in front of me.

“Are you okay, child?” he asked.

I put my hands out to steady him. “I am so sorry. Did I hurt you?”

An old black man turned to glance at me. He looks down at me with his soft dark eyes. “You’re a little woman. No, you didn’t hurt me. But if I don’t reach the front of this line to get my coffee, I may hurt someone.”

I nod. “We are almost there. Screaming Bean has that effect on all of us. We aren’t leaving till we get our coffee.”

He raises his fist in the air like he has been doing that for years. “We stand strong.”

I laugh and follow. “We stand strong for coffee, and we are never leaving.”

“Not like you did this morning on wobbly legs.” my brain whispers. Gramps turned back around, and I scratched my forehead thinking about the way I snuck out of Nowhere. I found some of Tarek’s ‘ spare clothes in a drawer. You would think I would just leave; no, I wrote a check of $10,000.00 for my night at Nowhere. With all the alcohol and food that we had when we went upstairs, I didn’t want Tarek to feel like I was loafing off of him.

Luce, reluctantly let me leave, she even arranged for one of Tarek’s drivers to get me home safely. Shaking my head, at the memory of me sneaking out of Nowhere. My heart was in my throat as those gates opened. I had no idea what he would do if he got up and I wasn’t there.

My car was returned to me this morning in mint condition. But here is my problem, Tarek hasn’t called or text me all day.

It’s not like I should care much, but it’s like I didn’t exist. Like he got what he wanted and now he has moved on to the next one.

Again, it doesn’t matter, it’s only 6:15pm. Closing my eyes I refocused. This is not a relationship. He doesn’t belong to me. Penny he doesn’t belong to you. I don’t want to belong to him. I had great dick and now I am in my feelings …a little. I don’t need to speak to him. My phone buzzes in my pocket, excitedly I pull it out only to realize it was a text from my mom.

Mom

Don’t forget your brother’s fund raiser is on Saturday and it’s a formal event.

Did I forget about Archer’s fund raiser? Yes, I did. See this is why I don’t get clouded with men. I forget important things like the fund raiser for my sweet brother.

It doesn’t take me long to get my coffee and head home. I ordered a dress from a boutique that my mom and I have an account at. I made arrangement with my loctician for a wash and a re-twist. My luck fell when I tried to get my esthetician, she told me she was in Jamaica on vacation. I called four different estheticians; one has covid, the other is moving her shop, one can only fit me in at nine tomorrow night when the gala starts, and finally the last person didn’t answer.

I need to wax my body, my legs, eyebrow and my coochie could do with a light wax. I am not a DIY girlie, but there is nothing YouTube can’t teach me. I placed an order on Amazon for a non-strip coconut wax.

8:30 p.m. still no call, no text, no nothing. My thumb hovers over Tarek’s number. All I had to do was press it and I could talk to him. But does he want to talk to me? I don’t want to appear desperate.

Exhaling I close my phone repeating the words in my head. “ If he wanted to, he would .” I will soak in the bathtub, read my E. Howard book and chill for the rest of my night in my pjs.

* * *

TAREK

“Let me get this straight, she left you a check on your nightstand and fled?” Dax asks as he sips his whiskey.

“Don’t forget she also hasn’t called to thank me for her car repair either,” I add. At the very least, a ‘ Hey thanks for saving me from a blown-out transmission’ would be nice. But no, nothing. It’s 10:48 p.m., and her name hasn’t flashed on my phone screen for the day.

Jasper chuckles. “The car that you tampered with?”

My eyebrows furrow, my temper begins to simmer. “Who’s fucking side are you on?”

“I’m trying to understand why this shit is bothering you.” Cole chimes in, as he stands by my window overlooking the garden to the back.

“Because he realized that she fucked him, then she paid him like a hoe and left. It’s like she reverse Uno’d his ass,” Jasper lays on my leather sofa in my office, throwing and catching a stress ball.

“Reverse uno? She didn’t fuck me. I. Fucked. Her.” I declared, swallowing the bourbon in my glass. Dax, ever the enabler silently picks up the decanter and refills it. I feel a surge of irritation for uttering those words.

“Who fell asleep first after the session? You or her?” Cole asks slapping Jasper’s foot to make him move over.

I dig into my drawer, and I pull out my pack of Treasure London cigarettes. As soon as the bud touches my lips, the bitterness bites and it feels like it’s burning. I snatch the ciggy away and shove it back into the box. I have only known her for a few days and she’s already altering my vices.

“The fact was it wasn’t just a session; we had sex about five times that night,” where is fricking Rhet when you need him.

“And then… you fell asleep.” Jasper responds, his legs resting casually on Cole’s.

Ok that does it, I grab my post it noted pad and launch it at Jasper’s head.

“Ow! Fucker. Hold up. I can’t call you fucker, can I?” Jasper rolls over just in time, and I pick up another Post-it and send it spinning to his chest.

“I wonder, if or when she says, ‘I love you’. Will you go running as you usually do?” Cole asks as he brushes the invisible lint off his pants leg.

“He’ll give her the Tarek special. A necklace with a side of a white pill,” Jasper says flinching as if he was waiting for me to throw something at him again.

The pill, I just realize we had sex more than once last night with no protection. I wait for the panic to set in and nothing happens.

“You need to address your trauma,” Dax says as he pours more bourbon into his glass. We all stare at him because we know the person who has the real trauma.

“What? I mean yes trauma makes you stronger, but it needs addressing. That’s all I’m saying,” Dax states.

“My trauma didn’t make me stronger, it made me into an asshole,” I reply calmly.

Cole chuckles. “Seem that you and Rhet’s PA’s best friend have a connection.”

Before he could finish his sentence, I counter. “We don’t have a connection, we have chemistry.”

Jasper places the Post-it back onto my table. “There is a difference?”

I drag my hand down my face. “Connection is like an emotional bond built over time through experience and mutual understanding.”

“Chemistry is an intense attraction, it’s a spark and boom. Short and sweet, connection is long term.”

Jasper rubs his chin and thinks. “So, it’s the spark that knocked your ass out.”

“I will shoot you in your fucking knee,” I declare as I pull my drawer open for him to see my Glock 17 Gen4 Cutaway.

With his hands in the air, he backs away from my desk.

“I think she is waiting for you to call her,” Dax says as he presses down into the chair to rise. “I gotta go.”

“Yeah, I am not doing that,” I reply.

“That’s why your ass is going to die in this pile of rock by yourself,” Jasper sneers.

Calmly, I place my Glock on the table and watch Jasper.

“I have a piece to,” Jasper raises his t-shirt and shows the butt of the gun.

“He will shoot you first Jasper. I will see you all next week I’m flying out to Seattle.” Cole dusts off his pants as he gets up.

I rock back in my chair watching my childhood friends, all of them I can trust with my life, my brothers but I will never tell them that.

“Y’all coming to the Union awards tomorrow?” Dax asks.

“No,” Jasper says bitterly. I hadn’t expected him to show, family ties and all that.

“I might, the only reason I will go is for Rhet. I don’t want to be around the Quarter Masters,” I state.

Quarter Masters, a group of old men that are too rich with too much power. Corrupt, ruthless and heartless.

“Either way I will be there. See you later,” Dax and Cole leave first.

Jasper holds on to the knob of the door staring at me.

“What?”

“Call her and make a connection, we all need a connection,” Jasper nods and closes the door behind him.

I release a puff of hot air. Some people need a connection, I sure as hell don’t need one.

* * *

PENNY

Any black woman will tell you that hair depression is a real thing. It’s that moment when you look in the mirror and you see your hair needs your attention and no matter how much product you apply you still won’t feel great. I experienced a bout of depression this morning, but as I step out of my loctician salon, everything feels right in the world. My locs were arranged in a 60s-vintage inspired up do rolled half up and half down. I instantly feel better. I even went shopping for a new pair of Spanx because my last pair was sliced open.

4:30pm I’m finally home. I run up the stairs and I noticed two brown boxes sitting in front of my door. Grabbing them I head inside of my home.

At 4:40 pm I realize that Tarek hasn’t call or text as yet. Well at least the sex was good but why didn’t he call though? Grabbing a knife from my kitchen counter I open the box. As expected, the boutique sent me my dress and from the looks of it, this was a good choice. Up next the other box which held my wax kit. My brother’s fund raiser starts at 8. I should take a shower now, and then wax my body.

It doesn’t take me too long to shower. Now comes the real task: waxing my entire body. Arm, legs, top lip, chin and of course my coochie. How hard can it be?

Opening my laptop, I find YouTube and I look at a series of DIY waxing videos. My favorite is Ms. Waxy.

According to Ms. Waxy, waxing is easy as pie. Exfoliate, pre wax spray, powder area to be waxed, apply wax, pull…then bam. Clean clear skin, I have this. Placing my pot on a short table, I lower my boiling wax to 194 F. My wooden sticks are ready. First up my chin, thanks to PCOS, I have a mini five’o clock shadow. With a swift pull, my eyes water, since the hair has been forced out of its follicle. Under my arms, then my legs. For a first time DIY’er, I’m doing amazing.

I press play on my laptop, listening again to Ms. Waxy. Unfortunately, Ms. Waxy is thin as a reed and she has no idea what a fupa is.

My phone vibrates on the table next to me, peeping over it, I answer.

“Mom.”

“Tell me you’re on your way, because it’s already 6:15, and you’re not here.” I can picture her fussing in some alcove area.

“Mom, the event starts at 8 p.m. I have time, the plaza is some minutes away.” I stir the pot of hot wax.

“You have time? Your brother is already here. Why do you enjoy giving me heart attacks?” Of course, she wants to be extra.

“I can always stay home and text Archie that I’m not coming he would understand,” I state. The phone becomes silent.

“I will send you a car, you come when you’re ready. Love you.” She hangs up quickly.

That’s what I thought, because she knows that I will stay home without a question.

The phone buzzes again only to reveal the name that I have been hoping to see. Tarek. I send him to voicemail. He called two more times and each time I send it straight to voicemail.

I should wax my lower half in parts. First up my fupa, one rip and the hair is gone. Now Ms. Waxy says I’m supposed either a) hoover over a mirror, b) sit in front of a mirror or c) Lie down and hold the mirror down to see my lower half.

I lay on my back, butt naked. I must look like a crab as I spread wax on my labia. Then the bright idea strike, I should apply wax to my bikini line, both labia and inside. I can kill three birds with one stone. Then I can do my makeup and dress.

With the powder in my hand, I do my little tap tap on the areas to be wax. The powder particles float, making my nose tickle.

Everything is going according to plan, a swipe of warm wax here, a swipe of warm wax there. A tingle creeps up my nose. With my legs stretch wide, I wait for the wax to cool. Then it happens.

“Achoo!” with an explosive force the sneeze erupts from me. My head snaps back, the rush of air gives me a sense of relief. I take a deep breath and sigh.

However, when I sneezed, I curled my body in a fetal position and my thighs closed, and my labia are now stuck together.

“Oh no!” Sitting up quickly, I try to spread my legs, but the wax has stuck them together.

All I have to do is pull it off. Standing, I place a hand on my tummy and try to remove the wax but it’s too much.

My eyes water as I pull the wax away. “This is not how it supposed to happen,”

I try again and I couldn’t do it. One, there was too much wax and two it was too painful to do on my own.

Reaching for the phone I dial Zeeta. After two rings it goes straight to her voice mail. “ Hi this is Zeeta, I can’t come to the phone right now .”

I press my hand into my eyes. How am I going to do this?

Maybe I could try oil, with my fused legs I shuffle to my dresser, pumping body oil in my hand. Nothing. The wax didn’t even crumble. Do I have to go to urgent care to handle this? The embarrassment. I can imagine it now. A nurse asks me, “What brings you here today?”

“I put too much wax on my pussy.” I can feel my cheeks becoming hot with just the thought.

God, please help. Oh, maybe if I use my blow dryer it might melt.

“Ding dong!” my doorbell rings.

My head swivels to the side. Who is at my door? I don’t have enough friends for me to have a visitor now.

Hastily I put on my short pink robe and wrap it around my body.

I crab walked to the door and peep through the hole.

No, not him, not right now. Maybe if I ignore him. I close my eyes, and I stay still hoping he goes away.

“I can see your shadow under the door. Open it or your neighbors are about to know exactly how you like your pussy sucked and fucked,” Tarek demands.

The door remains closed, I hear his soft chuckle. “All right. I know you love when I curl my while finger inside of you while I suck you cli-.”

“Oye okay.” I throw my shoulders back and open the door.

* * *