Page 25

Chapter Twenty-Two

Ilyana

I know what I have to do. To attain forgiveness, I have to let go and set everything right. On my 29 th birthday. I went to the lawyers to adjust my will. I went to see my parents’ graves. It has been a minute. I said what I had to say to them, and I left.

As I entered the house, my son, almost a teenager, is sitting at the bottom of the stairs waiting for me. His hair is dark and thick like his father’s and his eyes are silver as his. As he grows, I wonder what did he take from me? Hopefully not my mind.

“Mon tresor. I thought you would be getting ready for bed?” I ask Walter to come to collect my shopping bags and coat.

“I have a surprise for you, Mama,” Tarek says as he rises off the stairs.

“For me,” My heart leaps with joy as he hugs me. I press my lips to his head. He smells of sweat and expensive soap. I hold him close to my chest. In a year or so I would be looking up to him. I wish I was more of a mother to him, because he has been the best son to me.

“Dad left; he said he will be home late. So, it’s just you and I tonight.” Tarek says as he leads me into the dining room. He pulls a chair out, takes my hand and lets me sit. I place my small handbag on the table.

“I will be right back. Let me get the cake.” He jogs through the door for some minutes. I hear nothing, the sound of shuffling feet alerts me that he is returning.

Tarek walks through the door with a ten-inch cake covered in white frosting and sprinkles. Should I tell him I hate sprinkles? That I hate the way they taste. I can still hear my mother. “Cake with sprinkles only makes you fatter.” But for my son, I would love sprinkles.

“Happy Birthday, Mama!” Tarek says as he rests the cake on the table in front of me.

He reaches over with a lighter and lights the candles.

I wish I could record the moment and remember the joy on his face. Mon tresor, my sweet little treasure.

“Blow out the candles and make a wish,” Tarek cries.

Make a wish? As I see the flames twirl in the air, I think about my wish. Should I wish for love? No, I never received that. Should I wish for jewels? I have enough.

I close my eyes tightly and blow the candles out.

Eagerly my son places two plates, a knife and a fork on the table.

“What did you wish for, Mama?” Tarek asks with his face beaming with innocence.

“Freedom,” I whisper.

* * *

TAREK–8 Months

“Once the waterfront celebration is completed, we will take some pics; have some food then I’m taking my wife home,” Rhet says as he blows his cigar smoke in the air.

I hear him, but I am not really paying attention, something is bothering me. On paper I should be happy, but something doesn’t feel right. I just don’t know what it is.

Rhet grumbles, “Yes, Rhet, I agree. I will be leaving too.”

I clear my throat. “Sorry, my mind is far.”

“Far? What is the problem? You’re engaged. Your ass should be happy.”

I rub my forehead. “Agreed, and I am.”

“So, what the fuck is your problem?” Rhet places his cigar on the ashtray, locks his fingers over his chest and leans back in the green upholstered wingback chair.

What was my problem? “I guess, nothing. But?”

“But your mind is telling you something is off?” Rhet interjects.

I knock my finger against my desk. “Yeah. It doesn’t feel 100. You get me.”

“Ah, fuck.” Rhet sinks lower into the chair, his legs spread wide in front of him. “I felt like that with Zeeta, and I was right.”

I remember when Zeeta and Rhet “broke up”. That was almost two years ago. Now they are happily married with one beautiful kid and another on the way.

“T, do you have any skellies in your closet?”

“No.”

“No other baby mama?”

“No.”

“You’re not in the closet? I mean if you are.”

“No,” I close my mind searching for what is throwing me off.

“Maybe it’s first-time dad anxiety.”

I shake my head. “Nah it’s not that.”

“Look, man, all I can say is, be ready to forgive and let shit go,” Rhet comments.

“Yeah. You’re right,” I reply.

Rhet stands and fixes the sleeve on his jacket. “This dream of Trent is finally being fulfilled.”

“I’m happy to be a part of that dream,” I stand and put my hand out to one of my best friends.

Rhet looks at my palm in disgust and then stretches out his hand and shakes it.

“Let me go get my wife from your fiancé’s clutches then we can go,” Rhet says as he leaves my office.

* * *

PENNY

“It’s harder to breathe,” Zeeta cries, while fighting with the pillow on the sofa.

I chuckle. “It’s because your child has Rhet’s big head.”

A pillow flies past my head, and I duck just in time.

“You missed heifer,” I tease her, laughing.

Zeeta squints and grins. “I will forgive you for calling my man’s head big, if you let me see that ring again,”

I extend my hand, flashing the diamond at her.

We both giggle while kicking our feet like schoolgirls.

“I can’t believe you are engaged!” Zeeta says.

“I still can’t believe we are pregnant at the same time.”

Zeeta smiles. “I can’t believe you are having a baby with Tarek. He is smitten by the way.”

I bow my head, I didn’t want Zeeta to see the doubt in my eyes. “Yeah, I guess he is.”

“You guess? Girl that man has become your personal chef and massage therapist,” Zeeta say raising her brows.

“Yeah, you are right. He is a great guy.” He just hasn’t said I love you since I came back .

“Great guy? Penny, you have to get a hold of your childhood trauma shit,” Zeeta says, struggling to prop her feet up on the sofa.

“It’s not trauma shit. It’s just that… what if he leaves Zee,” My voice. Why am I crying?

Zeeta stretches to reach a lemon cookie, and her little struggle is cracking me up.

“What if he stays? Forever. Stop looking for excuses.”

“I’m not. It’s just that he hasn’t said I love you since I got back.”

Zeeta sighs. “Girl, well say it to him.”

“Supposed he doesn’t anymore? I can’t.”

“Heifer I know you,” Zeeta says firmly. “Look at me.”

I wipe my eyes and lift my head.

“You deserve good things. Tarek is not leaving. I’m never leaving.”

My shoulders begin to shake.

“Aww, don’t cry. I can’t come off this sofa to help you,” Zeeta says.

I burst out laughing. “Girl my belly is almost to my toes. Neither can I.”

“I can’t touch my toes at this point,” Zeeta adds.

I lean back and wipe my tears away. “What are toes again?”

“Exactly. Can I say something else? I am so horny.” Zeeta laughs, and all her joy is radiating.

“Oh my God, me too. I can rub on a post and get an orgasm.”

“Pray for Rhet, because I have that poor man working overtime,” Zeeta laughs with her head thrown back.

“Tarek was afraid that his cock would hit the baby. The doctor cleared that up,” I added.

“I remember when I was having Gia, Rhet thought the same. I told him you’re big but you’re not that big calm down.” I love that she is so happy.

Rhet is taking good care of my friend. Her skin is radiant. Her hair lush. She looks rich and comfortable.

“I am so happy you are going to be at the Waterfront celebration tomorrow.”

Zeeta nods. “Yeah, trust me I won’t miss it for the world. The guys have invested so much with Rhet. Tarek’s restaurant should be open in some months there right.”

“He hasn’t spoken much about the project but yes. I think fatherhood has consumed him.”

“It should. I can’t believe you guys chose to keep the gender a mystery.” Zeeta groans as she rolls her legs down off the sofa.

“I know right. Well tomorrow I will be there, humongous belly and all watching your husband and my fiancé, make Lakeshore history.”

“Trent would be proud,” Zeeta says.

“He better fucking be. This shit was work.” Rhet hurries to his wife’s side and helps her up.

“Thanks, babe. See you tomorrow, Wenny Penny.” Zeeta waves as she and Rhet leaves.

Tarek walks down the stairs and comes to me. “Hey, how you are feeling?”

“Can you help me up?” I ask with my arms stretched up.

Without hesitation Tarek bends down and lifts me gently from under my arm. I press my nose into his chest as he helps me to my feet.

“What do you need?” he asks rubbing my shoulders. Ever since my 35 th week, I feel like we are becoming distant, which is weird. We haven’t changed much as people. Who am I kidding?

Tarek has become more serious, harder to reach. It’s like he is building an invisible wall between us and I’m on the outside knocking.

“Are we okay?” I ask him while fixing my overalls.

“Yes. Do you feel like we are not? Is there something I am doing wrong?”

Zeeta was right, my fiancé is a good man. “No, you are doing everything right. But you feel…. I don’t know. Distant.”

“Oh, I have just been in my head. Sorry. It’s not you or anything.” His hands come down to rub my belly.

Some weeks ago, when the babies gave me their first kick it was like a flutter. Now it’s like someone is stretching my belly to get outside.

“You, okay?”

I chuckle. “Yes.”

“Demajio the stylist is coming tomorrow to get you ready?” Tarek asks as we begin a slow walk to the kitchen.

I nod. “Yes. I am excited for you for tomorrow.”

Tarek stops and kisses me. “I am happy. I can’t imagine my life without you.”

I let out a sigh of relief. “Same.”

He kisses me again and pulls me closer. “Would you like dinner or dick?”

I laugh against his mouth. “Can I have both for $100 Alex?”

Tarek laughs. “You sure can.”

* * *

PENNY

Demaijo truly out did himself, he is the best stylist. My locs are swept up in an elegant high-top bun. My dress makes me look like a divine goddess. It may be the soft champagne hue with a hint of shimmer. Or the flattering silhouette it gives my body. The dress is offering style, comfort and elegance. I kept my jewelry simple: delicate stud earrings, my engagement ring and the necklace Tarek gave me. I never take that off. My heart swells with joy as I watch Rhet, Tarek and Cole on stage having a deep discussion about the future of the Waterfront and Lakeshore.

“The success I have, I couldn’t have done it without my beautiful wife Zeeta,” Rhet says pointing into the audience. The spotlight swings to our table, and I hear Zeeta groan as she smiles, then blows a kiss to her husband.

Tarek grins. “And next to her is my beautiful fiancée. Hi Penelope.”

I get why Zeeta groaned, having a spotlight on you can be a lot. But I bask in it, loving the way Tarek looks at me. He may not say he loves me, but his actions speak louder than words.

Zeeta’s hand reaches over the table, and I squeeze it.

The speeches are finally over. The investors rush to talk to Cole, Rhet and Tarek. I feel happy just seeing him in action. He is mildly animated as he speaks, leaning in to hear an investors wife. Then his eyes meets mine and he gently excuses himself.

Tarek makes his way through the crowd, nodding to a few people and pointing toward me. He gives them a small wave then walks directly over.

When he reaches the table, he stoops beside me. “How are you feeling Treasure?”

His hands rest lightly on my tummy.

“I feel proud.”

Tarek turns my chair to face him. “If you are tired, we can leave now.”

My fiancé Tarek Fairisles is a caring and sweet man. He has been nothing but good to me. I think about all the midnight runs, the laughter, the quiet moments we share, and the family we are building together.

I place my hands on his cheek, and close my eyes to kiss him. He meets me halfway brushing my lips softly. Opening my eyes, I can see his love shining through. Maybe Zeeta was right, I should say it first.

“I love you, Tarek Fairisles,” I say.

The look of pure relief washes his face. He bends his head, coughing lightly before raising it again. “I love you so fucking much its driving me crazy,” he says his voice is low and fierce.

I giggle in relief that he didn’t reject me. “Aww, honey. I thought you changed your mind.”

“Never,” he saying gripping the side of my dress.

I was about to reply, but someone calls his name, and it’s Rhet waving him over with Zeeta tucked under his arm.

“Wanna come with me?” He stands and straightens his jacket. Who knew a tux could look this great on a man?

“No, I just want to sit and relax,” I reply.

“Give me forty-five minutes and we are out of here okay.” He bends and kisses my cheek before walking off. I exhale slowly, letting go of the doubt, I’d held onto for so long, because he loves me.

“Your dad told your mom he loved her all the time. It doesn’t make it true,” my mind says.

No, he loves me, and I love him, and that’s all that matters.

“Hello? Are these two seats taken?” A beautiful woman with dark hair asks, and a chubby woman with rich red hair stands beside her.

“You can sit,” I reply barely looking up. Rhet and Zeeta are off together, and Tarek and I are leaving soon.

I take my phone out, and begin to text Archer, asking him about my new baby niece. I can’t stop staring at the photos of Taylor and those squishy cheeks. I just want to kiss them through my screen. Archer sends me two more pics and I sigh.

“Aww is she your daughter?” The brunette leans in, her voice is soft and curious.

Proudly I lift the phone to show them. “No this is my niece, Taylor.”

They both coo over her dimples and dark hair.

“And you are about to have a baby too. Congratulations,” The red head said. But there was something in her tone that sounded snide, almost mocking.

“Thanks” I give a tight smile and tuck my phone away. I look in Tareks’ direction hoping for a rescue, but he is deep in conversation.

Trying to fill the awkward silence, I ask “What’s your names?”

They exchanged a look and a smile like they rehearsed it.

“I am Veronica,” the brunette says. The light pink dress washes her out, making her look almost ghostly.

“I am Melody,” She smile sweetly but it reeks of deceit.

“So how long have you and T been together?” Veronica asks casually. Who the hell is she calling T?

“Long enough.” My voice sharpens. Irritation flickers beneath my skin. “Is there something you would like to say or ask?”

Melody tosses her red hair over her shoulder, all practiced indifference. “Oh honey, we didn’t mean to upset you. Don’t get aggressive okay.”

Veronica touches her throat like she genuinely concerned. “We have to be careful with what we say, pregnant women are so emotional.”

Melody gaze sweeps over me. “She is no different from us.”

My pulse spike. My hands curl into a fist against the table as I shift to stand. This conversation ends now.

“He’s going to leave you, you know.” Veronica says softly, its almost sounds like pity.

Please, God, don’t let her be talking about Tarek.

“Who is?” I ask.

“Lover boy over there” Melody answers her voice dripping in disdain. But her eyes betray her. What I see isn’t hate, its longing. And it makes me want to scream.

My chest hurts. I shouldn’t entertain this shit. I should walk away. I figured out who they are. Tarek’s exes just fucking perfect.

“Look,” I begin, forcing a smile, “I am too tired to speak to any of Tarek’s disgruntled?—”

Veronica’s laugh cuts me off, her shoulder shaking. “Oh, honey, you are no different from us.”

I force a laugh in return. “Please tell me how.”

Melody leans forward, elbows digging into the table, chin propped on her knuckles. “Oh, sweetheart. Your time will come. He’s already given you the sign.”

The air in my lungs feels thin. My face stiffens; I freeze. I refuse to look bothered.

“And what sign is that?”

Veronica’s fingers drifts to her delicate gold necklace, the small emerald catching the light as it shimmers. “Because we all get one at the end.”

My gaze shifts to Melody’s neck, it’s bare. “I chose not to take one,” she says. “He has a collection.”

A cold pit forms in my stomach. I shake my head trying to clear it. “So, he gives necklaces at the end of the relationship?”

The walls feel like they are pressing in. Don’t panic Penny, stay calm.

“Yes,” Veronica says, her voice is unnervingly calm. “I’m not the only one. Look around the room, you will see many women are wearing the necklace.”

I don’t want to, but I can’t stop myself. My eyes scan the room, tiny emeralds glitter under the light, hugging the necks of at least fourteen women.

My heart is pounding in my chest. “Why keep it?”

“It’s worth a lot of money,” Veronica states.

“It’s like an FDA stamp,” Melody replies, her tone is bitter. “Tarek tested; Tarek approved.”

I look at them in disbelief “You are being treated like lab tested meat, and you are okay with that?”

Melody face flushes red and Veronica jumps in smoothly.

“There is a rumor. Once you get a necklace, the next year you will marry or get engaged.” She holds up her hand, flashing a huge rock.

My temper is simmering. But I keep it together. I have to.

Melody smirks. “Still think you are special?”

“In a different year, under a different light, I would have slapped the shit out of you,” I reply, pushing my chair back.

Melody gasps. “I would like you to try it.”

“I won’t because I don’t fight with hoes, because that’s what you are.” I stand placing a protective hand over my belly. “A dirty used up dried cervix. That’s what you will ever be.”

“You are just like us,” Melody seethes.

“I understand.” I reply “If I were you, I’d want that to be true. But we’re not the same.”

I move to leave but Melody calls out “If you don’t believe us, check the mid-century Chinese console cabinet. You’ll see. He keeps the necklaces in there packed for his next victim.”

I let out a small laugh, tilting my head. “Aww you want me to dig in his cabinet for a little necklace that you guys get, to further prove that you are nothing to Tarek?”

Melody chortles dryly. “Did he get rid of the cabinet?”

I force a sigh, trying my best to remain calm. “I don’t see how that’s any of your business.”

Melody’s smile is cruel and wide. “So, that’s a no.” She stands and adjusts her dress “You are just like the rest of us.”

I raise my chin and throw my shoulders back.

Melody jaw ticks. “You may be carrying his child, but he’ll still leave. You won’t be enough.”

Veronica sighs, “Sorry to tell you now.”

“No, I am happy to see the girls that were here before me.” I pick up my clutch. “It solidifies that no one can replace me in the present or future.”

I place fifty cents on the table pushing it in front of Melody. “I can tell that Veronica gives good head because she got the necklace.”

“Excuse me?” Veronica looks around to see if anyone heard what I said.

“But Tarek didn’t give you any, and that’s so unfair.” I tap the quarters. “I don’t want you to feel left out. Here is fifty cents. There is a gumball machine in the CVS across the street. Get yourself a necklace.”

“Why, I should slap you,” Melody cries.

“Again, I don’t fight with hoes,” I say meeting her glare. “Especially unskilled ones.”

Turning I head for the exit. Don’t let them see. Don’t let this pain show. But my feet feel like they’re dragging through cement and my vision blur. The panic I’ve been holding in is clawing at my chest. The second I turn the corner, out of their line of sight, the tears come.

I need to get out of here. The smart thing would be to talk to Tarek, to demand an explanation. But I can’t. Not yet. I need to see it for myself, before he charms me over.

I knew it. I knew none of this was 100%. My stomach twists. I stop placing my hand on my back for balance as I hurry toward the front stairs of the building.

Maybe I can call an Uber.

“Penelope? Are you okay?” I freeze. Dax steps beside me with a look of concern on his face. “Are you okay? Where is Tarek?”

I flinch when he calls Tarek’s name. “I am leaving.”

“Okay? How?” He steers me gently to the side near huge mahogany doors.

My fingers tremble. I am spiraling. “I need your car to get home.”

Dax pushes up his glasses. “I have a driver, but let me call Tarek?—”

“No. Forget it, I can get an Uber.” I turn to leave, and I almost stumble.

“Whoa, whoa. Okay, let me get my driver,” Dax says as he takes out his phone and makes a call.

Within minutes, Dax has me warm and comfortable in the back of a limo.

I don’t know why I am upset, but I just need to see if those women were telling me the truth.

* * *