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Chapter Ten

Dereck

T oday is the day. I have made my mind up. Today I am going to approach Miranda and tell her that I was wrong. That we should be a family. That I’ve already drawn up the divorce papers for Ilyana to sign.

Today is the perfect day. It’s a day of joy and congratulations. I stand in the shadows watching her cross the stage to receive her degree. Her green and black gown billows as she moves. She did it. She is about to be a doctor. Her smile is huge as she waves at my eight-year-old son who is sitting next to another man. I found out about him. His name is Jermaine, he is a construction worker. Seems decent enough, but I don’t like him. Miranda bounces off the stage, her hair is sleek and straight falling over her shoulders.

She blows a kiss in our son’s direction before taking her seat again.

It doesn’t take long for the ceremony to end. One by one people filter out into the courtyard, trading hugs and quiet congratulations.

Armed with red roses I weave through the crowd, catching sight of Miranda. She holds the top of her cap, pausing to take pictures with her friends, her laughter ringing out.

Mine. She is about to be mine. Mine to hold, mine to keep. Just mine. My heart pounds, my palms are sweaty as I get closer.

I am almost there Sticks. The crowd starts to thin and then I hear it, a scream of excitement. I stop short scanning through the crowd and then I see it: Miranda’s hand flies to her mouth and it’s trembling.

No! Fuck no. I push my way forward not caring who I bump into, just in time to hear her say. “Yes, oh my God, J. Yes.”

Jermaine slides a ring on her finger. The stone is the size of a dust particle.

Rage engulfs me. Miranda’s friends all gather around her happy, clapping. Like this is some happy moment. My stomach twists, I want rip that cheap ring off her fucking fingers.

I should have killed him when I got the chance. Why is she so happy over a cheap ring that looks like it came out of a fucking gum ball machine?

She can’t love him. She doesn’t love him. Why him? My son jumps in glee around them in excitement.

“Daddy, we did it.”

My grip loosens and the flowers drop to the floor. My son calls him Daddy? Seeing Miranda excited about a marriage was one thing, but hearing my son, my boy call Jermaine. “Daddy” is another.

I hate him, he has taken everything from me. Now is my turn to take it all back. I turn away from the scene of the happy family, disappearing into the crowd. I will be back. Soon enough both Miranda and my son will be calling me daddy.

* * *

TAREK

I can’t remember whose idea it was to get fucked up, but I have been paying for it all day. First, I woke up to a dribbling Jasper, and a tie wrapped around my head. I don’t recall much about last night, but I know there were more than five bottles of Macallan and BX3 involved and some other cocktails. I remember seeing Cole get a blow job from someone while I was peeing in the bathroom, and Dax had someone bent over the table while I drank, and Jasper sniffed god knows what off the table.

I don’t remember anything else. I don’t even know how we are back in Dax’s penthouse. What woke my soul up was hearing Rhet Banner talking about his P.A. saying I love you. Shit. Dax was right. Rhet is serious about this girl; he’s in love. Good for him, but fuck him at the same time, since I have a mini marching band in my brain.

Rhet is in love with his P.A. and I am trying to get the P.A.’s best friend pregnant. What a world.

With a towel around my waist, I drag myself out of my shower, rubbing my wet hair. I check my phone. Half the day has passed and she hasn’t called. But why would she since I was the one behaving like a crackhead.

“Shit,” I throw myself onto my bed.

I am not in love, but when Cole asked if I wanted to join him and the girl in the bathroom, I declined. Me, who loves having sex with different people. I love the feeling of different hands on my body as I fuck. Now the only hands that I want on my body is Penny’s. When I think about it, I haven’t touched my cabinet in some time. I haven’t given out a necklace to a girl or reached inside for my usual condom stash. The newest necklace I have is the one I had made for Penny, and I don’t want to give it to her.

How could I let this happen? What do I do now? I lie back and stare up at the dark mahogany ceiling, searching for answers in the crystals in my chandelier. I wish there was someone that I could talk to about this. I can’t talk to the guys, not right now. I have no one. That’s the thing, I never have anyone to give me advice or help. Even though my dad and I have a good relationship, he is just never around. I have no one, I am accustomed to having no one. Now I have Penny. I feel like I could go to her and say it all. She will never judge me. I laugh more with her. I feel everything more with her. When did I develop these…feelings?

She must think I’m such an asshole. I am giving her whiplash at this point. I had to go last night. I was and I am still trying to figure out my feelings. There is that word again. Feelings? I can’t remember the last time I had that.

I turn my head to peep at the clock, 6:00 p.m. I should go to her, but I need an excuse, I don’t want to just show up.

Just then a ding rings out into the large bedroom and an evil smile spreads over my face. There, I found my excuse.

It doesn’t take me long to roll out of bed and change my clothing. Just when I’m about to grab my keys, my phone vibrates in my pocket.

Penny

Hey, I know you got the ding. But we don’t have to meet today.

She doesn’t even want to see me, yup I fucked up. Dashing behind the wheel I don’t even know what the hell I am going to say when I see her. I don’t even understand why I ran. Imagine trying to explain that to her.

I think I committed at least three traffic violations while driving to Penny’s.

Finally parking in front of her house, I turn off my car and glance up at Penny’s house. The lights from her tv are beaming through her curtains.

Still confused as to what I was about to say, I jog up her stairs and knock on her door. After several taps it finally opens.

In a pink polka dot short pjs, Penny stands by the threshold blocking my entrance.

“I said we didn’t have to meet today,” Her eyes look sad, and heavy. My heart cracks since I am the reason that she is looking like that.

“I told you; I will be here whenever the ding goes off. Look about last night,” the words stick in my throat.

Penny shakes her head. “My period came. So, we didn’t have to meet today.”

“Okay, how long does it last for?”

She shifts the weight on her leg. “About 5 days. I will tell you when to come back, okay? Later.”

I didn’t know what to say. Before I could formulate a sentence, Penny was already closing the door in my face.

Slowly I walk down the stairs wondering how can I fix this. As I enter the car, my phone vibrates. The name FOW (Flavor of the Week) Kelly.

Staring at the phone, I look back at the house and hang the call up.

My engine roars to life my tires screech out as I drift around the corner. I have FOW Kelly, calling me, I could pick her up and my night could be amazing.

I have a phone full of Heaven on Earths, Sloppy Top Tanya and Fun size Suzanne. All willing to accommodate me. However, I don’t want them.

“I want Penny,” I whisper.

How the hell do I fix this? Penny is having her period. I know what a period is, I just never had to be around a woman when she had one. Even in my situationships, I tend to be around for a good time, I never had to stop and take care of anyone. I never stopped to care.

“Siri Call Gia Banner,” I shout inside my car as an idea hits me.

The phone rings and the voice of Rhet’s mother surrounds me in the car. “Tarek, honey. How are you? Looking for Rhet?”

I feel a smidge of guilt since Gia Banner has been a mother figure in my life, and I hardly check in on her.

“No. Actually Aunty G. It’s you I need.”

“Really how can I help?” she says with excitement.

* * *

PENNY

Is he really leaving? Standing at my window peeping behind my curtain, my heart stops when he looks back at the house. Maybe he will come back, but he doesn’t. His tire screeches when he bends the corner and it’s like he couldn’t get away fast enough. Story of my life, I am always standing at the window, watching the men in my life leave.

Settling back into the sofa, I plump the pillows harder than they need to be. My uterus contracts like it was upset with me and my whole-body aches. I should take a shower; I feel sticky and sweaty again.

I close the file I was reading. I was reading a contract that was sent to me from Trinidad and Tobago. A major company is interested in using The Asylum to set up their cyber security software. The company is inviting me and some employees of my choice to stay for the year.

A year. Maybe a change in scenery would be nice. Everything would be new. I would have so many places to explore. Networking to be done. Maybe I can extend my services all up the Caribbean. I can put my house up for rent. It’s not like I’m leaving anyone behind. Archer will be living his political dream. Mom most likely would come to see me. That woman loves a plane. Zeeta, well if I am predicting right, she will be married and happy. There is no one holding me back.

My mind whispers, “Tarek.”

What about him? It’s not like we are in a relationship. My heart sank a little with that thought. Do I want a relationship with Tarek? Well no, because as I can see, he is really just here for the free sex I offer, because I desperately want a baby.

I slap my hands over my face and groan. “God, I’m so pathetic.”

I mean, what the hell did I expect from Tarek? Maybe that’s why he ran last night because he realized that our—what should I even call it? Our situationship is based on sex. Yes we enjoy each other’s company, well at least I enjoy his, I don’t know if the feeling is mutual. But enjoying his company doesn’t mean that he enjoys yours.

The way he left when I told him I had my period says it all. Maybe I should stop this whole idea of having a baby and just adopt a kid.

I roll to my side on the sofa resting my head on a pillow. My back and my legs feel like they are on fire. A tear runs down the side of my face onto the cushion below my head. I really have no one. No one ever sticks around, no one stays because they want to. Not even a baby in my stomach. Am I so disgusting that no one wants to stay? A ragged groan escapes from me as I begin to cry. I scream into my pillow, thinking about how dad walked away because of me. It’s like I’m cursed.

My stomach grumbles while I am having my mini mental breakdown.

“Period hormones are such a bitch.” Closing my eyes, I inhale, trying to calm myself down. Reaching for the phone, I open my food app and placed an order for Ramen and some fried spicy tofu.

My body feels so heavy, I will just close my eyes for a little while. I just need to rest.

* * *

A pounding sound wakes me up. Pushing off the sofa, I rub my eyes.

“Snap what time is it.”

The pounding continues. “I’m coming. God that ramen better be fabulous,”.

Shuffling to the door, I open it.

“Thank you for…” I blink, trying to clear the sleep fog out of my mind. Tarek is standing in front of my door with six brown bags and flowers are hanging out of one.

“Hey,” he says.

“Hey, you came back. I thought you left,” I murmur. My heart leaps for joy.

“I did, um. I went to the store to get you girl stuff to make you feel better,” He raises the bags slightly.

Again, he came back, with “girl stuff” for me. He came back.

“So, these are sort of heavy can I come in?” he asks, like he was gauging my reaction.

Shaking the fog away. “Yes, please come in.”

Tarek walks past me, and he smells amazing, like oud wood and rich spices. Closing the door behind me, I follow him to the kitchen watching him drop the bags on the counter.

With hands hovering over the bags, he is talking to himself in a hush tone.

“Can you please sit and allow me to take care of you?”

What the hell is happening? Tarek is here in my house for something more than sex. He wants to take care of me.

“This is sweet, but you didn’t have to T. I can…” I start, but one look at his face and I know he means business.

“Sit.” He says firmly.

“Yes, sir.” I practically march back to the sofa trying not to giggle or kick my feet. Tarek is here…and he wants to take care of me.

* * *

TAREK

Aunt Gia gave me a list of things to get. I carry two bags to her bedroom. As I pass, I can see her straining her neck to see what I am doing.

Closing the door with my feet I take out a terry-cloth robe, a pair of fuzzy slippers, a bathtub pillow and a new fluffy towel.

In another bag I retrieve some bath stuff from a store Aunty Gia sent me too. The Sugah Bae store, had everything I needed. I got one bottle of bath oil, and a bottle of something that looks like marshmallow. Reading the label I see the words bath icing. Guess that is soap? Some bath salts, a huge bath bomb and body butter. And a candle. Why do women need all these things for their bodies? The world may never know.

I go to her bathroom, placing the bath pillow on the tub. Reading the instructions of the bath care, I begin to prepare a bath. Throwing in some salts in the tub, I add the bath bomb with the bath oil.

“Shit this smells good,” as the water bubbles, I take the other bag from the bedroom and open a small bath tray.

Hustling to the kitchen, I make a small cup of herbal tea, and I break the bark of chocolate.

“Hey, follow me,” I say carrying the tea and the saucer of chocolate with me.

Penny hustles off the couch and walks into the bedroom.

“Is that, is that for me?” she asks.

“Yes take off your clothes and put the robe on,” I didn’t look back at her, I head into the bathroom allowing her to change.

“Put this here on the tray and we have the perfect bath,” I say to myself, reaching into my pocket I take out the lighter and light the candle.

The door in the bathroom opens and I hear. “Oh, Tarek.”

I look around with a smile, feeling proud of what I have done only to see tears streaming down Penny’s face.

“Shit, did I do it wrong? Are you okay?” I can feel a small panic bubbling inside of my gut.

She wipes her tears away and says, “No this is so perfect, thank you.”

With open arms she walks to my chest and presses her face into it and begins to sniffle.

I wrap my arms around her and rub her back in circles. It’s okay. “Pen, I got you.”

Did I? Looking over her head, I see the small spa retreat I created for her. Yes, I got her.

She stops crying and looks up at me with red eyes. “Are you trying to make me fall in love with you Tarek Fairisles?”

The question knocked the wind out of me, but I regain my thought. “And what if I am?”

I shocked myself with that question.

She smirks and says, “Well it’s working.” Penny tiptoes and kisses me softly on the lips. I tighten my arms around her, loving the feel of her breast against my chest and her softness in my hands.

I feel a need to leave the room asap or I will be in the bath with her. “Ok um you take your bath. There are new pjs, a blanket and pillow on the bed. There are also some creams and oils on the tray in the bedroom. Meet me outside when you’re done.”

I turn the lights low as I exit the bathroom and head to the kitchen. Aunt Gia said make her something warm and cozy to eat. First, I thought soup, but then I thought no she needs more than that. Beef Stroganoff, with lemon tea and a slice of chocolate cake.

It doesn’t take long for the food to come together. I hear footsteps coming my way. Standing in the kitchen near the fridge she places her hands on her hips and poses.

“Looking very chic,” I reply.

Penny pouts playfully and places her hands on her waist. “I thought I looked sexy,”

“You do. In fact, my cock is semi hard just looking at you,” I reply, turning my body so she can see the rising imprint in my jeans.

“Now I feel deprived, I want your dick so bad.” She sits on the barstool and looks at the sunflower bouquet that I bought her.

“My sword has never been afraid to have a little blood on it,” I reply, throwing the sliced beef into the pot.

“Oh, God, Tarek, don’t tempt me.”

“I am saying if you want to use me, I am giving you full permission to.”

“Because consent matters,” she teases.

“It sure does.”

Blushing, she turns away and touches the flowers. “These are beautiful. Thank you.”

“I am happy you like them,” I begin plating the food, watching her look at the dishes and the flowers with a scrunched face.

“What’s wrong?”

Penny places her thumb between her teeth and says, “Who helped you with all of this?”

The question makes me break out in laughter.

“Oh, so you think this is funny, Tarek? Having one of your little friends touch my stuff,” Penny says with her hand on her hip.

“Pen, I called Rhet’s mom, and she helped me.” I wipe away the tears from my eyes.

All her irritation melts away. “Oh.”

I walk up to her and wrap her in my arms. Lifting her chin, I look into her eyes. “That’s all you have to say. Oh?”

She licks her lips and clears her throat. “Yes.”

“It’s nice seeing you jealous over me.” As I bend to kiss her, she pulls away.

“I am not jealous.”

Nodding, I say, “Now that I think of it, I did call Tanya for advice and?—”

She press her sharp nails into my chest “Don’t mess with me, Tarek.”

“Go sit down, treasure. Let’s eat.”

* * *