Page 37

Anders

Dread racks my insides.

Jamie will barely look at me, and he hasn’t said a word since Jace went into surgery. Children and their parents come and go, the little ones crying and distressed by their injuries. Their wails, the metallic tang of blood, all the people coming and going—it’s too much for me to bear.

“Be right back.” I rise, resisting the urge to give Jamie a comforting touch. It’s clear he needs space. He’s only rejected comfort when he’s hurting deeply, and it terrifies me and my wolf that our mate won’t let us give him what he needs.

Since neither of us had supper, I stop by a vending machine and feed it a few dollars in exchange for whatever snack catches my interest, making sure to get more for Jamie than for myself. My mate needs to be nourished right now, and he never thinks of himself.

When I return, Jace’s healer is speaking to Jamie. He grips the arms of his chair tight, shoulders stiff. I run to his side, almost dropping the snacks. “Is he well?”

The doctor smiles. “The surgery went great. Jace is in recovery now. I’ll let you know as soon as he starts to wake up, but he’s going to be fine.”

All the tension bleeds from Jamie’s body, and he slumps back into his chair. “Thank you so much.”

She squeezes his shoulder. “I know how you feel. I was devastated when my son broke his arm.”

My fingers curl. Jamie will accept a stranger’s touch before he accepts mine?

He hides his face in his hands, sniffling. “I feel so awful.”

“These things happen, Mr. Sullivan.”

Hopelessness claws at me. Jamie’s blaming himself for Jace’s injury, but it wasn’t his fault. How can I make him see that?

Once we’re alone, I sit down beside him and hand him a package of snacks. “Eat, pet.”

“Thanks…” Jamie tears open the package and scoops up a handful of nuts and raisins. His eyes fall shut as he chews, his head tilting like he’s on the cusp of sleep.

“Get some rest.” I squeeze his leg. “I will wake you when Jace is up.”

Forcing his eyes open, Jamie shakes his head. “I need to be there. I promised I would.”

I want to argue, but the tone of his voice implies he won’t take no for an answer. “The healer was right. This wasn’t your fault.”

Jamie swallows with effort, then crams the snacks in his pocket after only eating a handful. “I’m responsible for him, and because I wasn’t there, he got hurt.” His voice wobbles.

“You can’t always be there, Jamie.” I pull him to me. He’s stiff in my arms, and he doesn’t return my touch. Fear makes my insides tremble. Why is he pulling away from me?

“I should have…” Jamie’s throat clicks when he swallows. “I should have made him stay home.”

“No. You can’t restrict his freedom because something bad might happen.” My poor mate isn’t thinking rationally right now. Gods, I wish I knew what to say to ease his guilt. If Wulfric were here—

Jamie leaps up when another healer rushes up to us. “He’s waking up,” he tells us.

We arrive in Jace’s room and sit by his bed. Several layers of bandages cover his arm, but he sleeps peacefully, so he can’t be in much pain. I brush some dark hair away from his forehead. “Brave lad.”

Jace’s long lashes flutter, and he opens his eyes.

“Hey, bud.” Jamie leans over the other side of the bed. “Feeling okay?”

“My throat hurts,” Jace rasps.

The healer brings him a paper cup of water and tells us that Jace can go home.

He gives Jamie and me a list of instructions and a bottle of medicine, but everything he says goes over my head.

Jamie listens raptly, nodding or asking questions.

I wish I could give the boy some wolf furs.

That would heal his arm in no time at all.

Once Jace is up and dressed, Jamie escorts the sleepy boy back to the car. As we drive home, Jace falls asleep in the back seat. Jamie puts the car in park and slumps against the wheel. “Home. Finally.”

It feels like an age since we’ve been home.

“I’ll get the boy.” Stepping out, I walk around to the rear passenger door.

Movement across the street catches my attention.

There’s a figure reclining against the window of a store.

The burn of magic hits my nose, making my spine stiffen as my wolf growls low in my chest.

What is a witch doing here? They must be part of the coven that gave me trouble.

“Anders?” Jamie’s waiting by the door.

Tearing my gaze away reluctantly, I carefully maneuver Jace from the back seat.

The figure hasn’t moved when I look up. Giving them a final glare over my shoulder, I follow Jamie inside.

I help carry the lad upstairs, and Jamie unlocks the front door for me.

“Wait,” I growl and hold Jace out to him.

Frowning, Jamie takes him from me. I ease open the door just enough to poke my head inside and draw in a deep breath.

The apartment is dark and quiet, devoid of the stink of magic.

That doesn’t mean a witch hasn’t cast a compulsion spell to mask their presence and ambush us.

“Stay,” I command Jamie, not giving him time to answer as I proceed deeper into the apartment.

Only once I’ve checked every room do I decide it’s safe enough. “Come in,” I say and take Jace from him and carry him to his room. Slowly, I lay Jace in bed. He grimaces, eyes fluttering. The poor boy must be exhausted.

“Are we home?” His voice still sounds scratchy.

“Aye. Safe and sound.” Hopefully, that witch across the street is just observing me. “Are you in any pain?”

Jace shakes his head. “Tired.”

“I’m sure you are. You were very brave.” Pride warms me.

A sweet smile lights up his face. “Really?”

Kneeling, I run my fingers over his soft hair. “Braver than most warriors I know.”

Jace yawns big and wide, making me chuckle. “Can I see Jamie before I sleep?”

“Of course.” Leaning down, I plant a kiss to his cheek. I don’t want to leave his side. All I want is to stay and watch over him in case he needs anything. “Sleep well, pup.”

Gods above, but I adore this little boy as if he were my own son. This cold heart of mine has only grown twice its size to fit how much I love Jamie and his little brother. They are my family, my pack.

“He okay?” Jamie is right outside the door, worrying his bottom lip.

“Tired but all right. He wants to see you.”

Jamie sweeps past me without another word, and all the warmth of seeing Jace turns cold in my chest. Why is he being so distant? To distract myself, I wash my face and brush my teeth, then head into our bedroom to change. By the time I’m dressed, the bedroom door opens behind me.

“Is the lad asleep?” I ask as I turn, only to freeze. Jamie’s looking at me in a way he never has before, eyes narrowed and lips in a tight line. The scent of anger pours off him. By the nine realms, what’s happened now?

“You taught my little brother how to throw a punch.”

It’s not a question. No blade is as sharp as Jamie’s words.

Oh Hel. What have I done? The ground feels unsteady beneath me as I fold my arms across my chest. “To protect himself, aye.”

Jamie rolls his eyes skyward. “You had no right.”

Shit. Damn it!

“I only wanted the lad to be able to stand up for himself!”

“And guess who he decided to hit at the party?” Jamie snaps. “Guess!”

“I don’t know! A frost giant? Maybe Odin himself?” My jests bounce right off him.

“Kevin. The brat who bullied him. He’s the reason Jace broke his arm, because Kevin shoved him down the stairs after Jace hit him.”

My heart drops into my stomach. Oh gods. “I… I’m sure Jace had his reasons.”

Jamie barks a harsh laugh. “Oh, I’m sure he did, but that’s not the point. I’ve always told Jace to get an adult if he needs help so shit like this doesn’t happen!”

“He’s ten! He’s not a toddler. Any child of mine will know how to fight back!”

“He’s not your child!” Jamie’s shout makes me flinch, but it’s his words that hurt the most, cutting me to the very core.

I must look as devastated as I feel. Tears suddenly flood Jamie’s eyes.

“He’s mine, and he got hurt because I wasn’t there to protect him.

” The tears spill over despite Jamie’s best attempts to dash them away.

I’m moving before I can stop myself, my hands on his shoulders. “You can’t always be there, pet.”

“No.” Jamie untangles himself from my arms and backs away from me.

“After our parents died, I promised Jace I’d protect him.

I swore to myself he would always come first. I told my—my grandmother the l-last time I saw her alive that I’d take care of him.

” Jamie heaves in a shuddery gasp as tears drip down his chin.

“I let myself get distracted. I’ve been selfish. ”

“Jamie…” I don’t know what to say, speechless as he falls apart right in front of me. “Jace didn’t get hurt because you put yourself first for once.”

But Jamie shakes his head, furiously wiping his face. “I can’t do this, Anders.”

Dread rises within me. “We can find ways to include Jace in our outings. We—”

“No. I can’t—I can’t be with you.”

I try to speak, but all that escapes is a pitiful little gasp.

Jamie’s rejecting me. My mate is rejecting our bond.

“You don’t mean this.” My voice is barely louder than a whisper.

Sniffling, Jamie pulls the necklace over his head.

What can I say? How can I convince him to give us a chance, that it’s all right to put himself first? A lump aches in my throat.

Jamie takes my hand, fingers trembling. “Take it. Go home and be with your family. I won’t force you to stay here anymore.” He presses the necklace into my palm.

“You are my home.” I grip his hand tight, desperate to keep him here with me. “You are my family. Do not send me away. Please.”

Jamie’s mouth shakes, and he wipes away tears as he tugs his hand free.

My heart cracks to pieces in my chest. I’d fall to my knees and beg if I thought it would change his mind, but the devastation in those watery blue eyes tells me all I need to know. He’s made his choice, and it wasn’t me.

A broken sound I didn’t know I was capable of falls from my lips. The pain has me folding in on myself as my very heart itself feels as if it will shatter.

Our mate doesn’t want us , my wolf howls, and the pain brings me to my knees.

My gasps turn to snorts and pants as the pain morphs to a fury that burns me from the inside out. Claws burst from my fingertips, carving into the floorboards. No. No, no, no! My berserker is coming out, and I can’t control him.

“A-Anders?” Jamie’s heart races fast in my ears. He’s scared.

“Get back,” I snarl, voice deep and distorted. My body grows, clothes straining before they tear to threads. A red haze falls over my eyes. Thick fur sprouts all over my body. I’ve got to get out of here before I hurt him.

“Anders, wait! I’m sorry. I’m so sorry!” He reaches for me, and my eyes latch onto the veins in his wrist. I imagine them bursting beneath my fangs, how sweet his blood would taste as it fills my mouth, the crunch of his delicate bones.

“Get back!” I roar through my fangs, and Jamie scrambles across the room, face pale and eyes wide and damp. He smells so sweet. I want to tear him apart and devour him piece by piece…

I charge, rushing past him toward the window.

Glass shatters, cutting into my flesh as I hurl myself from the bedroom.

The wind roars in my ears, whipping my fur back.

I land on my clawed paws, shaking the earth.

Drawing in a lungful of air, my mouth salivates as I catch the scent of prey nearby.

Human prey. I push myself onto my back legs, claws scraping the ground as I prowl from the alley, shoulders brushing along the walls.

There they are, across the road. A man and woman argue, their shrill voices hurting my ears. They haven’t seen me yet. Licking my lips, I drop to all fours and lope toward them. The woman’s perfume makes my mouth water. She will taste so sweet.

Something moves behind me. My nose burns, making me growl. Suddenly, an immense weight bears down upon me, forcing me to the ground.

“Easy there, Anders. I’ve got you.” A witch I vaguely recognize stands over me. I snarl, hungry for his blood. If I kill him, the stink of magic will go away.

The witch’s face pinches in pity. “Shit. There’s not much time left. I must get you to your brothers.”

With a snap of his fingers, the portal bursts open, the light blinding me. My paws are ripped out from beneath me as the portal pulls me toward it. I drive my claws into the concrete, but I’m not strong enough to fight the portal’s magic as it draws me in.

White light obscures everything I know.