Page 18

Jamie

“Those bastards did a number on you, huh, puppy dog?”

Anders grimaces at me as I hand him his furs. Jess and Bailey rode home with him but went their own separate ways at my apartment door.

I’m relieved they looked out for him, even if I want to beat up the assholes who hurt him. Or my wolf does. He’s restless and wants to hunt down the witches or mages or whatever Anders called them. “Are these witches going to give you any more trouble?”

“Not if I stay on my best behavior.” Anders shrugs on the black furs, and before my eyes, his broken nose stops flowing blood, and his bruises fade to fair skin.

“So, the rules are no exposing humans to the paranormal world, and you’re to go to some agency or something?” My stomach flips. “Wait, but you exposed that you’re ulfhednar to Jace and me. Can you get in trouble for that? Can we?”

“You and the lad are of an ulfhednar lineage. You should be fine. As for the agency, I’ll go whenever I have time.” He sets his nose with a nasty cracking sound that makes me wince. “I’m fine, pet.”

He sure doesn’t look fine. In fact, I’ve never seen him so downtrodden. Anders can barely meet my eyes and glowers down at the floor. I join him at the edge of the bed. As I recall those wounded puppy dog eyes, my heart sinks. I should have been there, but I couldn’t leave Jace.

“Sorry I wasn’t there.” Before I can stop myself, I lean in and kiss his cheek.

Anders’s fair skin colors adorably. “I should have been able to fight them off.” He drops his gaze to the floor. “I failed to defend my honor. You must be ashamed of me.”

Bumping my shoulder into his, I say, “Hey. I’m not ashamed of you. Why do you think that?”

Anders rolls his shoulders morosely but still doesn’t meet my gaze.

“I’m not, Anders. I promise.”

Those wary green eyes look at me at last, brightening with hope. “Truly?”

Ugh, my heart. I hate that he can even think that. “The opposite. I… I really like spending time with you, Anders.”

Surprise softens Anders’s sharp features, makes him look young and vulnerable. “You do?”

I laugh, then hop right up and straddle his knees. His pleased little growl makes me smile as I lace my hands behind his head. “I really do. My question is why don’t you believe it?”

Anders wets his lips and looks behind me at something on the wall. Leaning in, he props his chin on my shoulder, wrapping those big, strong arms around my back. As he squeezes me to him, he mumbles, “Because most would rather have my brother than someone like me.”

“What do you mean?”

“Someone who isn’t good enough to be an Alpha.” He says the words so softly I almost don’t hear them. “Someone who couldn’t even win a fight without his furs.” Bitterness floods his voice. “Someone who acted the fool at your bookshop. How could you not be ashamed of me?”

I’m quiet as his words sink in. Anders gives off such a confident air to the point of arrogance, but beneath all that bluster is someone with deep insecurities, someone who doesn’t feel like he’s good enough. His jealousy toward Bailey this morning makes more sense.

“Hey…” I run my fingers through his hair.

A pleased growl escapes him even as he jerks away from the touch.

“Look at me, puppy dog.” I take his face between my hands and force him to look at me.

He scowls at me, but I can see the little cracks in his armor in those wounded eyes.

Am I crazy for thinking he looks adorable when he’s mad?

Because he does. “I don’t know who your brother is, and I don’t care.

I like you . And yeah, you got your ass whooped.

So? Just means I can take care of you afterwards. ”

He glowers in the face of the sunny smile I give him. “Don’t need anyone to take care of me. I can heal.”

“Sure. But that doesn’t mean you can’t hurt.

” My own insecurity niggles at me, that maybe there’s something wrong with me or otherwise he’d want me to care for him.

Leaning all my weight to the side, I succeed in pulling him down to the mattress.

I’m almost hanging off the edge, but Anders tugs me closer so I don’t fall.

Rubbing his hard chest, I say, “What’s so great about your brother you think he could whisk me away? ”

“Nothing… except everything,” Anders admits.

“But I thought you hated him?”

“I do. He’s a fool. He had everything handed to him, and he never deserved it, while I had to work twice as hard for anyone to give a damn.”

“But there must be something you like about him. Otherwise, you wouldn’t feel this way if you really believed you were better than him. You know?”

Anders gnashes his teeth and is quiet for nearly a minute.

Finally, he exhales and says, “He’s skilled.

It seems once he sets his mind to something, he excels at it.

Effortlessly. Mayhap because he’s an Alpha, he’s more determined to be the best he can be.

” Annoyance hardens his voice, but I’m happy he admitted to something.

“And for whatever reason, everyone seems to like him without any extra effort on his part. Whereas I’m… ”

“Prickly to anyone who isn’t me?” I offer.

“Aye,” he admits.

“ Well ,” I say, drawing out the word, “maybe if you open up more to others and let them get to know all the other little shades of you, people would like you more? Give Jess and Bailey a chance.”

Anders frowns. “If you met my brother, mayhap—”

“Nope.” I swing my leg over his hips and crawl over him. My blood simmers as our bodies press together. “I can assure you I’d like you more. I don’t think you understand, but I’m pretty obsessed with you, puppy dog.”

A smirk lifts his lips. “Forsooth, I couldn’t tell.” Sarcasm laces his words.

“And so what if you made a few mistakes? Everyone does when they’re learning. Besides, you made up with Jess, and Bailey likes you.”

“They do not.”

I scoff. “Trust me, if Bailey didn’t like you, you’d know. They’ll warm up to you in no time. Jess and Bailey are just protective of me, that’s all.”

Anders tilts his head, his hands rubbing up and down my back soothingly. “Why?”

I shrug, unsure how to get into it without killing the mood and bringing up bad memories. “We’ve all been through a lot, that’s all.”

A frown creases Anders’s forehead. “Did someone hurt you?”

“No… Not someone. Just life, I guess.” I push down the memories before they can surface.

“Don’t really wanna get into it. Anyway, I thought you did great on your first day.

Did you almost murder Jess? Yeah, sure. Did you make a mess?

A little. But come on, give yourself more credit.

You’re from a whole other time, having all these new experiences. You’re doing amazing.”

Anders huffs, but I can tell he’s still unsatisfied.

I give his chest a pat. “How about we do something familiar to you? We could take our furs and go running somewhere.”

Anders’s eyes light up with interest. “You want to?”

“Yeah. You up for it?”

A smile spreads across Anders’s face. “Sounds good.”

After dropping Jace off at school the next day, I take Anders for a drive to a national park up in Yonkers. It’s only a forty-five-minute drive, so I won’t be late picking up Jace.

“Where are we going?” Anders asks.

“Somewhere I think you’ll like.”

Finally, I kill the engine at the base of a hiking trail. When I throw on my furs, I can hear for miles, smell all the colors of the woods with even more clarity than without them.

“This is… it’s familiar,” Anders says, pausing to take in a deep breath. “These woods remind me of home. I wouldn’t have thought such unspoiled wilderness still remained in your time.”

I smile sadly. “Trust me, if humans had their way, all these trees would be torn down. In this world, there isn’t a lot of respect for nature, not unless we can profit from it in some way.”

Anders growls his disapproval. “I know. Hunters burned the forests I hunted and played in as a pup.”

“Thankfully, a lot of environmental activists fight to preserve forests like these from greedy developers.”

Anders tilts his head thoughtfully. “Humans care about the forests?”

“Plenty of us do,” I assure him.

He hums, boots crunching over frosty grass as we walk. “Then those few humans would have plenty in common with my pack, strange as it is to say. Why did you bring me here?”

I spin around to face him. “I want you to teach me how to be a wolf.”

A curious smile hooks the corner of his mouth. “Oh? Why?”

“Why not! I’ve spent all my life totally oblivious to this side of myself.”

Anders leans back against a tree, eyes bright with interest. “What would you like to know?”

“Anything, everything. I want to learn how to hunt. How to howl at the moon. I don’t care. I want to know everything there is to know.”

A raspy chuckle escapes Anders. “Fair enough.”

“And in exchange… I can teach you how to be a part of my world. If you want.” When his brows furrow, my heart sinks.

I hope I haven’t offended him. “What I mean is I can show you the ways of this world. Show you that it isn’t as bad as you think it is.

Sure, there are some crummy things about this time, I won’t lie, but there’s a lot of good too. ”

Anders scuffs the heel of his boot across the ground. “I find that hard to believe.”

Going to him, I take his hands. They are rough with calluses, while mine are soft, aside from a few bandaged paper cuts.

We’re so different, the pair of us. “Our worlds couldn’t be more different,” I admit, brushing my thumb over the hardened palm of his hand, “but that doesn’t mean they can’t coexist or that you can’t have a place here. ”

There’s a light in Anders’s eyes, a softness to his features, before he tugs out of my touch. “I told you, my time here is short-lived. I cannot afford to be idle, not while my brother still controls my pack.”