Page 23

Anders

Silence rings in my ears as I watch Jamie walk out on me.

Within my soul, my wolf howls in dismay.

Our mate doesn’t trust us to care and provide for him, and the realization hurts worse than a cut from any sword or fang. Jamie has been doing everything on his own for so long. It doesn’t take any kind of magic to understand that. What must I do to show him he can trust me?

Balling my hands into fists, I march into the kitchen and throw open that giant ice-coffin thing.

There’s not much inside to work with, though there’s some broccoli and a package of steak.

Perfect. I can work with that. When I turn to the stove and all its dials, I lose my confidence.

Scowling, I toss the food on the counter.

If we were all wolves, we could just eat the steak raw, but the lad could get sick. My wolf whimpers inside as the quiet sobs and sniffles reach my ears. I’ve never heard either of them so angry at each other. The stress they’re both under is something I’ll never understand.

If I could just find a way to ease their burdens…

Unable to listen to the lad cry, I go and knock on his door.

“Go away, Jamie!”

“It’s Anders. Are you hungry?”

The boy sniffles. “Sort of.”

“Would you like steak, lad?”

“I guess…”

“Then come out here and show me how to make it.”

The door opens, and Jace comes out, face sticky with tears and snot.

“Wash your face, then get in here.”

Nodding glumly, he goes into the bathroom, returning moments later with his face still splotchy but clean. “What do you need help with?” he asks, rubbing his eyes.

Surveying the beast of a contraption before me, I say, “How in Hel’s name do you work this thing?”

The boy manages a laugh, face brightening as he grabs a big pan and hefts it up onto the stove. He flicks the knob, and I jump back when bright blue flame bursts to life beneath the pan.

“Ah. That was… simple.”

“It’s not too hard. And you can adjust the temperature too, see?” He rotates the knob, reducing the flame’s brightness. While I wait for the pan to heat, I stare uselessly at the broccoli.

“Need a knife? They’re in here.” Jace slides open a drawer built into the counter, revealing many knives of various lengths and blade types.

Picking up a knife that looks suitable for chopping vegetables, I set to work. “Put another pan on the stove, lad.” Once that is done, I throw the chopped broccoli in and turn on the heat. I also toss in some diced onions.

“You should put this on too.” Jace holds up a bottle of something. “It’s soy sauce. It’ll make it taste better.”

Opening the bottle, I give the contents a sniff and recoil. It smells salty, but I’ll trust the boy’s judgment. Once I’ve poured a little of the contents over the vegetables, I watch the steak sizzle in the pan. “Who did that to your face?” I ask, motioning at the bandage on his cheek.

Jace’s nose wrinkles in anger. “Kevin. He’s a jerk. He’s always teasing me.”

A growl rumbles up from my chest. “Why?”

Bobbing his shoulders, Jace sighs. “Don’t know. I never did anything to him.”

“Children can be cruel.” There’s a sour taste in my mouth. “Especially when another child has something they do not.”

A memory bursts into my mind of me shoving Wulfric to the ground and laughing with the boys I’d thought were my friends as he’d cried.

“Were you bullied too?” Jace asks.

I rotate my jaw, muscles popping. I don’t have the heart to tell him I was just like the boy who bullied him… still am, in some ways. “I can tell you that the whelp’s behavior has nothing to do with you. So, you had enough and hit him, yes?”

“I tried.” Jace glowers at his fists. “I suck at fighting back. He’s way bigger and stronger than I am.”

An idea pops into my head. Turning my back on the stove, I hold up my hand, palm facing him. “Hit it.”

Jace’s eyes go round with surprise. “What?”

“You want to learn how to defend yourself or not? Hit it.”

Holding up his fist like he’s only just noticing it for the first time, he smacks his knuckles against my palm. It’s like a punch from a puffin.

“Again,” I growl.

“But what if I—”

“You won’t hurt me.”

He hits my fist again, leaving behind a dull ache.

“Again!” I snarl.

With a frustrated shout, Jace pounds my palm with his fist, making vibrations tingle up my arm.

“Good. Try that the next time someone bullies you, and they should leave you alone.” Returning to the stove, I stir the broccoli. “Why not simply tell Jamie you’re being bullied?”

Lips wobbling, Jace hangs his head. “He has enough going on.” Despite the wetness in his eyes, his glare is fiery. “And you can’t tell him, okay? You can’t. I want to be a man and deal with it on my own! Like Jamie does.”

“But you don’t have to, lad. You’re part of a pack, and pack means you’re never alone.”

Jace’s mouth lifts. “Really? I’m your pack?”

A chuckle bubbles up from my chest. It’s rusty, but it feels good to laugh. Tousling his mop of hair, I say, “Aye, lad. You and Jamie.”

Jace flashes his teeth in a radiant grin. “Does this mean I can shift?”

“Not yet.” Another laugh bursts out of me when he pouts. “Lad, you ought to apologize for what you said.”

Color crawls up Jace’s ears as he drops his chin to his chest. “What did I say?”

“That comment about wishing your parents were here instead.”

Jace balls his hands into fists. “I’m not sorry. I did mean that.”

The steak hisses as I flip it, and I wince as hot grease spatters my arm. “He is doing the best he can!”

My own words slap me in the face, and all the anger flows out of me. As I stare into Jace’s seething face, it’s like a mirror into my own anger at my brother. My brother, who I criticized endlessly, who I challenged at every opportunity.

Wasn’t Wulfric also doing the best he could, as an Alpha to our pack, as a brother to my siblings and me?

I remember how hard our father worked for our pack, constantly tending to the needs of others, often at the expense of his own.

I remember Wulfric surrounded by our people during one of our meetings, everyone vying for his attention.

All the times I’d mocked him in front of our people, challenged him—humiliated him.

There’s a sour feeling in my stomach, and I realize it’s shame . I was… horrible to him. I was so consumed by my own jealousy for everything he had that I lacked that I didn’t see, didn’t care to see, the immense burden being an Alpha at such a young age put on him. I took it all out on him.

I wish Wulfric were here now so I could say how sorry I am.

Clearing the emotion from my throat, I say, “Jamie is struggling too. Just… try to understand that he is doing the best he can. Be frustrated, but do not be cruel or say things you’ll regret. Otherwise, you may push him away and lose him for good.” I dump the steak on a plate.

Jace’s face has gone pale, his eyes bright with worry. “I… I didn’t mean it. He knows that, right?”

“Hard to say unless you tell him yourself.” Cutting the steak into strips, I divide the pieces between three plates, then add some broccoli. “Come, let’s eat.”

Just as we’ve set the table, the lock clicks in the front door.

Jamie’s sweet scent makes my wolf howl in delight as he walks in.

Parsing through his aroma, I detect notes of apprehension, guilt, and sadness.

Mustering up a smile that doesn’t reach his eyes, Jamie holds up a grocery bag.

“I bought some ice cream. Anders, you’ll love this stuff.

It’s just what a bad day calls for.” His smile wobbles when Jace approaches slowly, head down.

The lad’s shoulders heave as a choked noise bursts from him, and he throws his arms around Jamie’s waist and hides his face in his stomach. “Please don’t leave me, Jamie. I’m sorry. I’m so sorry.”

Tears flood Jamie’s eyes, and he wraps his brother in his arms, holding him tight. “Never. I’ll never leave you, kiddo. I promise. It’s okay. We can do some fun stuff this weekend together, just us. Okay?”

Jace bobs his head, still clinging to Jamie.

My eyes sting, and I look away, surprised by how emotional I’m getting… and by how much I suddenly wish I could say similar words to all my brothers.

“I’m sorry. I’m sorry. Please, take me back. Please, let me be your pack again.”

But I know in my heart, it will never happen.

“Something smells good!” Jamie’s smile is genuine as he guides Jace to the table. “That looks so tasty! Who made this?”

I motion at Jace. “Your lad did. He’s a talented cook.”

Jace laughs, wiping his eyes and sniffling. “Yeah. Totally made all of this.”

Eyes soft and tender, Jamie meets my gaze. “Thank you.” His words send a shiver of delight down my spine. “Let’s eat before it gets cold.” We gather around the table and tuck in. Jamie’s eyes widen. “This steak is so undercooked it should be mooing.”

I moan around a buttery-soft mouthful. “Just the way I like it.”

Jace pretends to tear into his steak like a wild animal, making us both laugh.

Later that evening, Jace insists we read together, so we meet in his room.

Jamie cracks open a book, and once Jace is under the covers, he begins to read.

It’s a story about an ugly duckling, different from all the others, who struggles to find acceptance—until, in the end, he finally finds a family who loves and accepts him.

To my surprise, my eyes get misty, and I feign interest in the floor so nobody notices.

Yawning, Jamie leads the way to our room. “Thank you for the meal.”

Running my hand down his back, I guide him inside. “It was my pleasure.”

“Anders.” Gripping my arms, Jamie suddenly presses me against the door.

Desire roars through my blood as his lean body blankets mine.

His pink tongue peeks out, gliding over his bottom lip.

“I mean, I…” Those blue eyes stray from mine, suddenly damp.

“I’ve never had someone take care of us like that before.

It means a lot to me, so…” Blinking fast, he glances at my mouth.

The urge to close the space between our lips burns within me. If I do not taste him now, the desire will surely consume me from the inside out.

“I’m sorry things were such a mess today.” Jamie’s voice shakes. “I know we’re a burden, and nothing I do is good enough. I’m trying, but it’s hard and things are messy, and I’m sorry—”

Cupping Jamie’s stubbled cheek, I murmur, “You are not a burden. Neither is the lad. You could never be.”

Jamie’s lips quiver like he’s about to cry until he lunges in and claims my mouth.

As he clutches my face, his lips gliding over mine, the world around me ceases to exist. My wolf howls in unity within my soul, like all is right in the world at last. I adore how sweet he tastes, the tender desperation in his touch, and how perfectly his lips fit against mine.

I don’t think I could ever leave him behind. I should pull away. I’ve got to remember my goals. This isn’t my time, it’s not where I belong, but as I part my lips and let Jamie’s tongue dance with mine, none of that matters.

With a carnal growl, I grip the back of his thighs as he jumps. His legs wrap around my waist, and I can feel how hard he is against my stomach. I pull on his hair and bring his lips crashing down to mine. Careful not to drop him, I carry him to the bed.

Jamie laughs as I toss him onto it, bouncing on the mattress.

I’m already tearing off my clothes. Naked, I step over my discarded clothes and prowl toward the bed.

I pounce, caging him between my body and the mattress.

Jamie’s breath hitches around a moan as I lick and suck on the fair skin of his throat.

I rock my hips, grinding my bare cock against his jeans.

“Clothes off, pet. Now. Before I rip them to shreds.”

Panting, Jamie undresses until he’s naked beneath me. I twist and tug on his nipple rings, making him arch and gasp. Rolling my hips, I grind against his cock. Jamie moans breathlessly, reaching between our bodies to stroke us both in his hand.

“Fuck. Get the lube. Hurry up. Need you inside me. Now.”

I yank open the drawer so violently the whole thing almost falls out. Grabbing the lube, I spurt a copious amount into my hand. Wrapping my slick fingers around our cocks, I stroke in earnest, groaning as we glide together, smooth and fast.

Once I’m slick enough, I grab for his knees, but Jamie suddenly flips us so he’s the one on top. My feet touch the cool floorboards as Jamie straddles my lap. Reaching behind himself, he inserts two slick fingers into his own ass and moans.

“Not fair, pet,” I growl, caressing his stretched hole with a lubed finger. I think I’ll die here and now unless I get inside him soon.

Jamie bites his lip with a whimper as I push inside. My finger brushes two of his. Fuck. He’s so tight. “Ready for my cock?”

“Yes,” Jamie gasps. “Been ready all day.”

“Then have me,” I growl against his lips, damn near feral as he tightens around our fingers.

Jamie withdraws his fingers, and I do the same, already missing his heat—until he sinks down onto me.

Never in my life have I known such bliss.

Every time we make love, I’m closer to Valhalla’s glory than the last. We both sigh, breaths mingling, and then I claim his lips in deep, hungry kisses as he begins to ride.

His arms wind around me, holding on tight.

“You are worthy, James Sullivan,” I rasp against his mouth as I move with him, lips brushing with every word. “Of everything. The loyalty of your friends. Your grandmother’s trust. My body. My heart. My soul. Don’t you dare doubt that. Am I clear?”

“Yeah,” Jamie says, breathless as he rides my cock faster and faster. “Yes. Anders. Yes.”

I snap my hips faster, pounding into the blissful heat of his body until Jamie’s mouth slackens and he cries out, hoarse and jubilant. Wrapping my arms around his shoulders, I hold on tight as the bed creaks, the mattress dipping beneath our frenzied movements.

“And if anyone is ever fool enough to make you question how worthy you are, I’ll burn their world to the ground.”

There’s nothing I wouldn’t do for him. And I don’t know when this happened. No one will ever hurt my mate.

I snarl my gratification as the musky scent of Jamie’s seed fills the air, spilling hot against my chest and stomach. Growling a strangled version of his name, I pound into his clenching heat and claim my own release deep inside him.

Jamie clears his throat. “You, uh… you really meant that?”

“Yes.”

“I didn’t even specify—”

I kiss him, stroking my fingers through his hair. “Yes, pet. Yes to all of it. I never say things I don’t mean. For better or worse.”

Jamie smiles, soft and tired. “Thanks. I needed to hear that. All of it.” His voice wavers and he coughs, clearly trying to hide his emotions.

I smirk. “I know. I have a way with words.”

“Dick.” Jamie smacks my ass.

Closing my eyes, I nuzzle into Jamie’s neck.

Mayhap like that ugly duckling, I can find where I belong too.