Page 31

Anders

When I wake with Jamie curled up beside me, all I want to do is lie in bed all day with him and never leave. I may have lost my pack, but if I hadn’t been exiled, I might never have met him.

Leaning in, I nuzzle my nose into his neck and breathe in his scent. Waves of calm wash over me, and my wolf, though dormant without my furs, rumbles in satisfaction. Our mate is perfect. It shames me that I ever thought of leaving him. I must make things right.

I will claim him. Soon.

“Pet? Wake up. Jace will need breakfast soon.”

Jamie’s back is to me. In the quiet, I realize his breathing is uneven, and his body is far too tense. He’s awake, so why isn’t he leaping out of bed with his usual energy? His scent shifts, and sadness clouds his sweetness.

“I, uh… just need a minute, okay?” His voice is shaky and subdued.

“What’s happened?” I touch his shoulder. “Jamie, what’s—”

He twists his shoulder, jerking out of my touch. The ache of his rejection feels like someone struck me in the chest. “Sorry.” Jamie’s voice shakes, and he sinks deeper beneath his blankets until just the top of his head is visible. “Need space.”

I don’t understand. Have I done something wrong? I don’t even know what to say. “Aye.” At a loss, I get out of bed. The cold floor gives my bare feet a shock. Outside the bedroom, the cold has spread throughout the apartment.

In the kitchen, I make us some coffee, preparing Jamie’s the way I know he likes. Surely he’ll want coffee. I can’t fathom what’s come over him.

Jace shuffles into the kitchen. “Morning,” he chirps.

“Morning,” I say, tousling his hair. “Orange juice?”

“Yes, please.” Jace hops up onto a barstool at the counter.

I pour my coffee into my mug, add sugar, then bring both our drinks to the counter.

Jace takes a big, refreshing sip. “What was it like going back to the past?”

Before I can answer, the bedroom door slams open. Both of us fall silent. Jamie crosses the room, head down, and goes into the bathroom without acknowledging either of us. The shower starts running. The ball of dread in my chest only expands, threatening to morph into a void that sucks me in.

Jace hangs his head, sighing.

“Not you too. What’s wrong?” I ask.

Worrying his lip, Jace says, “I don’t wanna talk about it. Sorry.”

What would Jamie keep from me? We tell each other everything. Don’t we?

Unless… has Jamie had enough of me? He was so happy to see me yesterday.

Clearly, he’s keeping something from me, but if I weren’t pleasing him, he would tell me.

Right? Deep within me, my berserker howls in fury and despair, sharpening my fangs and claws even without my furs.

Something is wrong with our mate. I’m going to find whoever hurt him and make sure they don’t live another day.

I’ve lost my pack, and that was hard enough. But I can’t lose Jamie. To distract myself, I go to the kitchen and gather ingredients for a cheese and bologna sandwich, helping myself to a few pieces of bologna.

“Can I help?” Jace pulls a step stool up to the counter beside me.

“Sure.” I move over to give him more room to assemble his sandwich.

Jace says, “Don’t forget you’re helping me with my presentation today.”

A piece of bologna goes down my throat wrong. Coughing, I sputter, “Hel below! W-what exactly must I do?”

Jace grabs a jar of mayo and slathers some on both slices of bread. “Just tell them stories about cool stuff from your time. What kind of books do you like, Anders?”

I tilt my shoulder. “I enjoy all kinds of stories, but my favorite have dragons, gods, and epic battles.”

Jace smiles. “Yeah, those stories are awesome. I always loved reading comics with my mom.” There’s an odd crack in his voice, sadness souring his scent.

Jace’s words inspire a memory of my own. “My father used to take me on walks in the woods. We’d hunt together,” I continue, handing him some bologna, “and he taught me everything I know about surviving in the wilderness.”

“What about your mom? What’d she teach you?”

My chest tightens painfully. “She passed when I was very young. I don’t remember much of her, except that she was kind and loving.”

Jace clears his throat and looks away, the scent of sadness wafting from him.

A similar sadness to Jace’s rushes through the bond connecting me to Jamie. It’s heavier, like storm clouds. I wish I could go to him and offer him comfort, but in the mood he’s in, I worry he’d reject me.

Tossing some cheese in my mouth, I say between chews, “I wasn’t an especially good hunter, but when I caught my first prey, my father was so proud.” Knowing I’d pleased him remains my happiest, most cherished memory. “He supported me in everything I wished to do, without judgment.”

Jace smiles sadly. “That’s what parents do. It’s how you know.”

“Know?”

He shrugs, staring down at the counter. “That they loved us.”

My father loved me.

This simple truth, buried underneath all my feelings of jealousy, grief, and rage, is like a ray of dawn breaking through a long, dark night.

Of course he loved me.

Even if I wasn’t an Alpha, even if I’d gotten jealous when he’d spent time in the woods training Wulfric. I’d drowned in bitter feelings of envy for so long, I’d forgotten such an important fact. My father had loved me for who I was and all I wasn’t.

Emotion clogs my throat. I used to get so mad I’d lash out at my father for spending time with Wulfric.

I’d accuse him of playing favorites. The shame burns me to my marrow, and I have to close my eyes to force the memories away.

I wasted my father’s final years being so angry and bitter, and I hate myself for it.

I loved him. So much.

Had I ever told him? Had he known?

“Are you okay?”

When I open my eyes, they’re misty and hot with unshed tears.

Jace’s eyes widen. “I’m sorry! I didn’t mean to make you sad.”

“I’m fine, lad.” I cough and duck my head to discreetly wipe my eyes on my sleeve. Ever since I arrived in this timeline, I’ve become a soft, weak mess.

“I miss my parents too. All the time,” Jace admits. “Especially today.”

“What does that mean?”

But Jace shakes his head. “Don’t wanna talk about it.”

I let it go, wrap his sandwich in foil, and hand it to him.

The bathroom door opens. Jamie’s hair is still wet. Why didn’t he bother to dry it? He’ll freeze outside. Then I see his eyes, bloodshot and wet, and my heart stops.

Jamie smiles, but it doesn’t reach his eyes. “Sorry for taking too long.” He dumps his coffee into his thermos. “Let’s get going.” He isn’t fooling anyone with that fake casual tone.

It’s obvious to anyone that he was crying, or trying very hard not to. Is that why he spent so long in the shower? The sadness coming from his bond wasn’t especially heightened. Unless, mayhap, he was trying to hold back his tears?

By the gods. What has happened to him?

Rushing to the door, Jace grabs Jamie’s coat and hands it to him. “Come on, get your coat on.”

Jamie shrugs it on, sniffling. “Thanks. I’m super excited for your presentation, bud.”

“No,” I say, standing so swiftly my knee knocks into the table. “You can’t go anywhere today, Jamie. Not like this.”

He stiffens, brows furrowing. “I’ll be fine.” Finally, there’s something other than forced cheer in his voice. He’s pissed that I haven’t fallen for his act.

I barely strangle the snarl rising to my lips. “You’re staying home, Jamie. Do not make me chain you to the bed. You are in no state to—”

Jamie crosses his arms. “You’re my boyfriend, Anders. Not my—my father.” His voice catches, and the firm set of his lips trembles. “You don’t tell me what I can and can’t do.”

Jace looks worriedly between us. “Come on, guys, please don’t fight!”

I want to swing Jamie over my shoulder, carry him into our room, and lock him in until he tells me what in Hel’s name is going on.

“Anders.” Jamie’s shaky voice snaps me out of my rage. “I’m okay. Let’s just go.” And without another word, he throws open the door and storms out.

It feels like there are worms writhing in my gut as we arrive at the school. Jace insisted I get changed into my gear from my timeline, and he’s also wearing a tunic and a horned helmet. The armor feels heavier than it used to. I’ve become accustomed to the clothing of this time. “Ready, lad?”

Jace grins. “Yeah, let’s do this!” He leaps from the car and rushes toward the building. Chuckling at his enthusiasm, I follow with Jamie beside me. “Hurry up, guys!” Jace waves us over.

Jamie offers a quiet smile. “Coming, bud!” Once Jace disappears through the door, the smile falls off his face.

Before I can take his hand and offer comfort to my mate, Jamie quickens his pace.

I follow him through the halls, which are bustling with parents and their children.

Inside Jace’s classroom, he runs up to greet his friends, most of whom are wearing unique costumes.

What was I nervous for? I can speak in front of pups.

Jamie gives Jace an encouraging pat on the shoulder, then goes to stand in the back.

I follow as the woman I assume is the teacher stands before the class, welcoming everyone before the presentations begin.

It takes a long time to get to Jace’s. Many students tell stories, some about these people called cowboys or astronauts who walked on the moon itself, and images flash across a big white board to accompany their stories.

“Next, Jace Sullivan!”

He leaps up and waves wildly at us, making me chuckle.

Clearing his throat, Jace addresses the class, reading from a paper he holds. “Today, I want to talk about these really fascinating people called Vikings. But I won’t do it alone. Please welcome Anders, a real, live Viking!”

Heat rushes up my neck when all the children look at me, excited whispers filling the room. Waving awkwardly, I go up to stand next to Jace. “Greetings, everyone. Blessings of Odin upon you.”