Page 68 of Take the Blame (Seaside Mergers #3)

“I’m so over being punished for things you all would be praised for.

” I shook my head, my chest heaving now, my voice tumbling out of control.

“And while I’m at it, I’m sick of being the sacrificial lamb in all our games; I’m over you guys making fun of my horchata because of the one-time I messed it up!

And why do I always have to be the one to put the angel on the Goddamn Christmas tree!

It’s fifteen feet tall! Do you know how terrifying being on a fifteen fucking foot ladder is? ”

“Woah!” Multiple voices said. I guess I had gotten a little shrill toward the end.

I heaved a steadying breath, turning to stare at my family. “My point is, just because I’m not barking commands at everyone like Ox, or throwing apples like Ceci, doesn’t mean I’m a pushover.”

I narrowed my eyes. “Or in case you guys forgot, who was the one who stood up to Lyla Parker when she called you a red-headed freak in first grade, Ceci? And Mátti, who used to always go see Abuelo in your place when he just wanted to belittle you?”

“You’re right, he hated me,” Mátti mused.

“Who was the first to jump off the rope swing at the summerhouse, or the one to turn off the lights downstairs when you guys thought it was haunted?” I looked at all of them now, a serious look on my face. “Who was the only one to go in that stupid cave in Mexico?”

A murmur rose among my siblings and I could laugh if I wasn’t so riled up. Leave it to them to let the creepy cave we stumbled upon when we’d gotten lost in Mexico be the thing that actually got through to them.

I sighed.

“I’ve grown up. I grew up over ten years ago. You guys are the ones who refuse to see that. I’m not this weak, clueless, docile little thing you think of me as. And I’m not acting out of character, I’m just finally sick of pretending.”

Looking to my brothers and my dad, I said, “I have a business. I don’t make a profit, but I’m very good at it, and if I wanted to I could. I work two jobs and then some just to be able to come here every day and be worthy of this place where I grew up.”

I looked at my sisters next, “I run by your apartments every morning and ask the doormen if you’ve been making it home alright.”

I looked at my mom, and my voice wobbled. “I think I love someone. You’ve met him and he smiles real big like you, Amá.”

Pushing a hand through my hair, I huffed down into a seat, having worn myself out.

“Guys. I am years beyond the helpless little girl you knew me as. Turns out I’ve known the real me for a long time. I’ve just been too afraid to share it with you guys because I was scared you would all act like… this .”

Heads hung around the room, guilt replacing all the oxygen. My stomach curled. Was it possible to feel good and bad about setting people straight?

“But I want to.” I added hopefully. “I want to share every bit of myself with you and for you to be comfortable with it. Because I don’t ever want there to be a day where I feel more comfortable away from you all than I do with you.

I love you. I’m just asking that you love me too.

This me , not the me from so many years ago.

The room stayed quiet for one long second before my dad was rising to his feet.

Apa was a man of few words. He was very much like Melissa in that sense.

So when he spoke, we all made a point to listen.

And his deep voice resonated throughout the entire room as he said, “Well, you heard her. Does anyone have anything to say to your sister?”

Ceci was first, her broad smile splitting her face as she looked around. “Did you hear the words she was saying? What a potty mouth ! Who was recording?”

Mateo held his hands up next. “Al, I’m Switzerland. You do you, and I’ll have your back.”

Lis was next, shrugging like this was the most boring thing ever. “I’m not surprised. You always look so mad by the time you’re halfway up the ladder anyway. Mátti can do it from now on, don’t worry about it, Al.”

Clinton Ferguson somehow joined in as he rolled his eyes and sank unhappily into his seat. “Must this family always be so dramatic?”

Mom and dad looked at me together, my mom speaking first.

“ Lo siento, Mija ,” she started softly, reminding me of Harper in all the most heart wrenching ways.

“We didn’t mean to polarize you by trying to keep you as our little girl forever.

And sometimes our heads get too big and our ears get too small and we forget we don’t know everything.

Will you forgive us and let us know you as you are now? Will you give us another chance?”

I grabbed her hand. “You already do, Ama. I promise. ”

Ox was the last one to address me, approaching briskly, confidently as he always did but plopping down to the seat beside me in a very unlike him motion.

Leaning his elbows on his knees, he looked at me.

I frowned at him, wondering what the stern leader of our pack was going to say about my sudden outburst. I still hadn’t explained the thing with the Harper’s

Surprisingly, he just sighed and shook his head. “Have I been an irredeemable asshole?”

I found myself giggling at the question.

“Ox,” I said. “That’s your personality.”

Everyone around us laughed too, and he huffed along with them.

“Does that mean you’ll forgive me for it, then?” he asked quietly. “Terrible personality and all?”

“Will you forgive me for mine?” I asked.

“Nothing to forgive,” he said. “And I’m sorry you’ve had to beg me to be a good brother lately. Your efforts haven’t gone unnoticed. You’re doing great things, Al. I haven’t told you that yet, but you are.”

I swallowed and bumped his knee. “You’re annoying and bossy and you think you know everything—but you’re a good brother, Ox. Always have been, and I have no doubt you always will be.”

He grimaced, as he slipped back into a deep sigh.

I felt lighter for all of a few seconds before suddenly my stomach was knotting again. My throat pulled as I looked at him. “Sorry I messed up your deal.”

He didn’t pull his pointed look away as he speared me with those black pupils. “Why did you?”

Gulping, I returned my attention to the whole room. “Does anyone know the stipulations to declare a missing person as dead?”