Page 27 of Take the Blame (Seaside Mergers #3)

Giving Harper’s arms another squeeze I detached from him and started pacing, my frustration directed into every step I took across the tiled floors.

“I have been catering to my family since the day I was born. If they’re sick, I’m there.

If they need to talk, I’m there. Even when they’re being mean, you know who’s there?

Me! I do what they tell me to. I don’t cause a fuss.

I don’t get into trouble. Sé lista, sé buena, sé amable.

That’s what our mom tells us. Be smart, good, and kind. ”

Memories of Amá brushing my hair and telling me how to be a good girl invaded my mind. I’d always taken those lessons to heart thinking she was giving the same wise words to my siblings, but was she? It sure didn’t seem like it, not as literally as me at least.

“I’ve always been the nice one. Even when I didn’t want to be.

But you know what? No one listens to good and kind.

I’ve been being good and kind all my life and you know where it’s getting me?

Stepped on. My brother won’t give me the time of day, my sister keeps condescending me, and this terrible hoe at work thinks it’s fun to use me as her verbal trash can just because I’m too worried about being smart and good and freaking kind to fight back!

And now, on top of being the family punk , I’m disappointing everyone because they expect one thing from me that I never wanted for myself in the first place! ”

My pacing slowed, my eyes dropping to my feet. Even my shoes were non-offending. Sensible little flats that didn’t click decisively like Melissa’s or Grace’s when they approached a room.

I sighed, my shoulders feeling a million pounds. “I’m stuck in a box and I don’t know how to get out.”

“Wow,” Jules said. “That went from badass to sad real quick.”

“Yo, she said hoe ,” Ryan marveled. “Did anyone else hear that?”

“Hey, speak Spanish again. That was cool!” Lana clapped.

“Hey, shut up for a second, would you?” I looked up at the sound of that voice.

The one I was now realizing I’d been waiting to hear all along.

I turned to him. He was leaning against the front counter with his arms and legs folded.

Despite his casual stance, he was staring at me hard.

And vindication shot through me when I saw he looked just as mad as I felt.

“What exactly is the problem, Alta? Specifically .”

Alta . No boss, or princess, Just Alta.

“They don’t respect my ambitions. They don’t even acknowledge them. But they expect me to respect their time like it’s gold while mine is just paper,” I said, my voice so soft. Defeated.

If I was expecting any sort of response from Harper, I can say with confidence it didn’t include him walking away in a brisk harumph. We all watched after him in confusion as he disappeared into the back without so much of a word.

I tried not to feel hurt by the dismissal. I wasn’t supposed to care what Gus Harper thought of me. But the wild truth was, I did. I think I always had, from the very first moment .

My eyes fell to the ground, my hands balling into the extra fabric of my pants. Air felt thick in my throat as I tried to keep calm; keep from being disappointed in his rejection. Yet, the stinging in my eyes was almost inevitable.

What had I expected? That because we’d kissed he would all of a sudden see me in a different light?

You lost or something?

The words never seemed to fully leave my mind, always on the outskirts ready to remind me that no matter how much his opinion of me seemed to have changed, he was just like everyone else.

He thought I was weak just like everyone else.

Sudden pressure under my chin broke me out of my thoughts and a second later I was being overcome with those eyes again. When he saw mine, taking in my regression with a deft gaze, he glared.

“Don’t cry,” he ordered. “We aren’t crying right now. Listen.”

I blinked, nodding quickly.

“Are you listening?”

“Yes.” I wiped under my eyes and gave him my attention. “Yes, I’m listening.”

“Good. You see this?” Shockingly, the color coded blocks of my calendar is what he held between us. I nodded. “I want you to tape this up on your desk at work, somewhere everyone can see it. And the next time somebody asks you to do something that doesn’t work for you, I want you to point to it.”

“That’s it?”

“You can tell them to fuck off while you’re at it.”

“Harper,” I breathed weakly.

“What?” He raised an eyebrow. “It sounds like they could use the reminder. And it seems to me like you’re way past taking the bullshit.”

He was right. I was so over it. So over being the person everyone was so quick to bully or baby or use the way they wanted because they knew I would let them. But could I really be what he was asking me to be? Brash and almost rude?

I must’ve looked apprehensive, because he continued, resolve visible in the set of his eyes.

“Alta. You don’t need a formal invitation to start being the person you want to be. And you don’t have to approve it with everyone else before you magically transform. Just start doing the things that are best for you and the people who are important to you will catch up. Just be you .”

“What if I don’t even know who me is?” I asked. “Because I’m not acting like myself lately.”

His lips flattened, his glare seeming to get angrier.

“Guys,” he suddenly called over his shoulder. “What comes to mind when you think of the boss here?”

“Sweet as pie!” Gerald spoke first. “And I’d do anything for her.”

“Tough as nails!” Ryan laughed. “She’s the only person who can give Gus the kick in the balls he deserves.”

“Focused,” Jules piped up. “Girl knows how to get shit done!”

“Organized.”

“Pretty!”

“Takes care of business.”

On and on the compliments kept flowing. And yeah there were things like sweet and nice and cute in there. But they weren’t words like pushover, or doormat, or failure like I sometimes thought they ought to be. I was shocked to learn how strong they thought I was. Stronger than I ever believed.

Looking at me, Harper’s expression said, ‘ Well ?’

“You guys,” my voice wobbled.

Using a knuckle, he wiped under my eyes to catch the stray emotion that had just escaped. He leaned in. I thought he was going to kiss me in front of everyone, and he did. But not in the way that I was expecting. I still felt my entire body loosen with the softest press of his lips to my cheek.

“ A boss ,” he said. “We see it. How incredible you are. Now hurry up and start showing everyone else, would you? We’re tired of keeping your secrets around here.”

Silverware clinked too loudly as the silence of the room rang on. No one spoke.

It was Thursday. The day before the block party. And instead of stressing over last-minute preparations like I was supposed to be doing, I was dealing with an even bigger annoyance.

Family dinner.

Usually the weekly family dinners at my parents’ house were something to look forward to. They were a time where we could all get together and catch up, hang out, and just be. Now, however, it was just one huge ball of tension.

Ceci was glaring at Melissa across the table, Ox was glaring at me, Melissa looked helplessly to anyone who would throw her a bone, and I was intently staring at my plate so I wouldn’t have to face any of it.

Not to mention it was a big day tomorrow.

Not that anyone else knew. They probably just thought I asked to move family dinner from the usual Friday because I had a vacation or something.

On the bright side, something had finally gone right for me lately.

Harper’s advice to use my schedule as a hypothetical “fuck you” had worked. On three separate occasions I was approached about something that I either didn’t have time for or I simply didn’t want to do at work .

I was thrown in feet first with Grace being my first visitor.

On my way out once again when she approached me about some task I was sure I’d done the day before.

When she asked me to show her the completed assignment I was referring to, I tapped into the badass boss the guys at Ink and Mar thought I was and told Grace that she could look into it herself because I had an appointment to attend.

Leaving her there gaping was a kind of exposure therapy that I didn’t know I needed. It felt amazing, and facing that giant made everyone else feel like ants in comparison. Everyone but him of course.

My big brother.

He had come by earlier in the day, standing over my desk looking almost bashful.

I was deep into typing up a brief for an upcoming marketing meeting, one of the only things that actually interested me about my job, and instead of being excited to see him like I usually was when the king came down here to visit the mere mortals on this floor, I felt instantly annoyed.

“Yes?” I’d asked.

“Hey,” he said lamely. It hung in the air as the sound of my typing filled the space. “Are you busy?”

“Yes,” I said. Because I was obviously busy.

Apparently, that message wasn’t so easily received. Not when his next words were. “Okay… I was wondering if you wanted that rain check. From our last lunch.”

My hands stalled, my words pausing on the keyboard. Looking up, I was swarmed with the overwhelming scrutiny of black. Ox was hunting. In my case, he was probably hunting for a new way to reprimand me, and I was not in the mood.

“Did you ever read my email?” I asked.

His lips thinned. Caught . “No.”

“Why not?” I asked. Willing to give him the benefit of the doubt since he was being honest .

“I forgot,” he said.

“Do you normally forget things that are important to you, Ox?” I asked with a surprisingly sharp tone.

He was smart enough not to answer that. “I’ll read it at lunch.”