Page 58 of Take the Blame (Seaside Mergers #3)

His eyes traveled ahead of us. Walking up the rest of the way and straight under the large white lighthouse built upon the very edge of the rocks.

It was built of brick and stone, like the original architect couldn’t decide on which material to go with and the very top of it was a vibrant red.

So bright I could see it even when we’d first turned onto the land.

It was beautiful. Harper seemed less impressed as his eyes wandered back to meet mine. “This is some murder shit if I’ve ever seen it.”

“Just walk, Augustus.”

“Yes ma’am,” he mumbled.

He followed me up the path, his hand slipping onto my hip when the rocks began to protrude into the walkway and staying there as we climbed up the slightly elevated stones toward the gate.

The first thing I did when I got to the barrier was jiggle it. Sometimes they left it unlocked, which made it a whole lot easier on me and my conscience when visiting. This was not one of those times.

“Looks closed, Boss.”

“Shush up and follow me.” I was already scurrying around the side of the circular base to a more secluded entrance that I knew would be accessible.

Harper stopped, a huge grin spreading over his face before he jogged to catch up. “Alta Fernandez, are we breaking and entering?”

I rolled my eyes.

We were, in fact, breaking and entering, though. The way I brought my elbow down on the weak lock of the second gate, the old latch popping right open as it always seemed to, was proof. The iron creaked as I pulled it open wide for him, the cold biting into my palm as I did.

Harper’s eyes stayed on me even as he passed through the gate and stepped onto the staircase it was protecting. He looked awestruck. “That was kind of hot.”

I felt a smirk pull my lips, my eyebrow pulling up with it. “You’re going up, Harp,” I said, pointing up the stairs

“Hell yeah I am!” he said, wiggling his eyebrows and looking pointedly down at himself.

“ Harper ,” I tried to sound annoyed, but I couldn’t through my giggle. “ Go .”

He shrugged and started his way up the stairs, but not before I glimpsed the small, satisfied smile he let take control of his lips.

The steps ascended along the outside of the lighthouse.

A gorgeous view that spanned from the waves crashing against the structure all the way out to the distance of the hazy horizon in front of us.

Though it was cold and overcast, there were breakthroughs of light and color in the early hours of the evening sky.

The only downside to this stairway was the fact that you weren’t just looking at the view, you were a part of it. It was only tolerable in the summer. The mist felt good when there was heat slicking your skin, but it felt like sharp needles of cold when it was just a few days before Thanksgiving.

Harper must have agreed, because when we reached the top he turned on me. “I’m sorry for everything I’ve ever done to you. Please don’t kill me at your creepy frozen lighthouse.”

I sputtered a laugh. He was only kidding, because at the same time, he wrapped me up in a hug.

Less for affection and more for warmth I realized as he shivered against me.

I couldn’t help it as I rose to my toes and kissed him on the lips.

Mine were already numbing from the cold air, but our kiss was warm enough to heat me up.

He hummed .

I freaking loved it when he hummed at my touch. Like I was a tasty treat he’d been waiting all day to consume. Like I was a reward of some kind.

I realized then that I wanted to make him hum like that for as long as I was able. Bring him pleasure not only from sex but in life too. I hoped this view would at least help.

Sobered, Harper kept his arms around my shoulders, his body close to mine, his gaze on my gaze as he spoke calmly. “Why are we here?”

“I wanted to show you this place.”

“Huh.” He looked out along the horizon, waves filling in the soft silence that fell between us. “Why?”

“Well,” I pulled him along the circle of the lighthouse. “You’re not from here. So you wouldn’t know where we are. But you seem kind of down today. So I thought it might be a good place for you to think and clear your mind. With or without me.”

“With you,” he said with no hesitation. “One hundred percent.”

I felt myself melt into his words. “Okay. Let’s sit then.”

We did. Setting up the chairs and sharing a blanket, we sat quietly watching the earth move.

Water. Clouds. Time, all moving around us and doing their own thing. I always found peace up here, thinking about how the world still went round even when I thought the worst thing to ever happen had occurred. Time would not stand still and soon enough, I would be able to try again.

I wondered what the view made Harper think of as he sat with me in companionable silence.

Apparently, it wasn’t what I thought he’d be thinking. “Alright. I think I’m ready to be sacrificed to the snow demons now.”

“You’re really not going to leave it alone are you?” I scoffed.

He winced. “Sorry. I get anxious when I’m upset. I usually can’t sit still.”

I smiled. As always, we were opposites. “I freeze when I’m upset. It’s like all my energy instantly drains from my body. All my weight goes to my feet and I can’t move.”

“And do you come out here when that happens?”

“I do,” I nodded. “Here and other places like it. This is one of my favorites, though.”

“You have a favorite lighthouse?” he asked, confused.

“Why does that surprise you?”

“It doesn’t seem like your kind of thing.”

I couldn’t fight my smile as my eyes drifted out over the waves to the steady form deep in the haze. “It’s not. I mean, don’t get me wrong, I love Seaside to death. I want to be here forever, but I’m not big on sand in my shoes and the crabs sort of creep me out.”

He laughed, imploring the use of ‘ pobrecita ’–his new favorite Spanish word. “Why do you like it out here, then? It doesn’t get more Seaside than this.”

“Because of my sister,” I said, looking to the waves again.

“Melissa?” I eyed him curiously, wondering if I was so transparent. I must have shown it on my face because he added. “You talk about all your family, but you’re different when you talk about her. Almost, solemn.”

“Yeah,” I swallowed, my mind going to the way she’d been avoiding me lately. Brushing me off and disappearing whenever I appeared. “That’s probably because I’m pretty conflicted when I think about her these days.”

“Why’s that?”

I sighed. “It’s always been cats and dogs with me and Lis.

She liked pink when I liked purple. She liked the sand when I preferred jumping in the water.

She wanted to do club activities while I wanted to intern with Apá and Ox at the company.

But for whatever reason everyone liked to choose for us.

Amá gave me pink and Lis purple. They made me sit on the beach while they swam in the deep end with the big kids.

They gave Lis the internship while they couldn’t care less what I did. ”

“Ouch,” he hissed. “That’s brutal, Boss. I’m sorry.”

I shook my head. “It’s okay. We weren’t perfect about it but we worked it out. We actually used to switch places sometimes. Trade tasks or roles—If neither of us could handle the boxes our family was putting us in, we’d cover for each other. We had a mutual understanding of sorts.”

“That sounds nice.”

“It was. For as long as it lasted, at least.” I looked at my hands. “But we’ve drifted apart over the years and—I don’t know. I guess she grew out of not wanting to play her given role and I never did. I’ve kept striving to break free of my family’s mold for me.”

“So what then?” he asked. “Why does she bother you so much?”

Screwing my mouth to the side I looked to the waves and not to him.

“Because she knows me.”

He didn’t understand. I could tell by the scrunch of his nose as he continued to listen.

“Harp, before there was you, Melissa was the one who kept my secrets. She’s the one who’s seen me as I am since I was a little girl trading places with her, fantasizing about filling bigger shoes.

And as much as I like to challenge her, I don’t think I ever really wanted to beat her at anything.

I just wanted to be like her. And I guess it just hurts that she probably knows that and still just…

I don’t know—doesn’t like me all that much. ”

“Boss,” he said. I could feel his eyes on me but I didn’t feel like looking. I knew they’d be too kind. But he didn’t try to placate me, simply asking, “Then why do you come up here? If it reminds you of your sister and all that ?” he asked, confused.

“Just comforting, I guess.” I shrugged. “Even when we’re having our differences and I can't go to her, I can go to a place she showed me. A place where she had my back just like those old days.”

I hummed, and he hummed back, a faraway look reaching his eye as he stared off into the endless sea.

I myself knew the boundless thoughts the ocean could bring.

The contemplation, the worry, the breakthroughs.

I’d brought him up here for the opportunity to feel all that, yet I found myself wondering what expression he was giving the water that I wasn’t able to see.

What thoughts he was contributing to the ethos that were secret enough that he’d whisper them to the waves without allowing me a glimpse.

And now I was jealous of a body of water . What was wrong with me?

“Harper?” I asked. Suddenly not willing to let that water win. He turned his eyes on me, and I was met with the same sadness I’d been wrestling in his expression all day. And I knew now where it was coming from. “What’s your sister’s name?”

“Mar.”

Gears shifted into place, something I should have put together a long time ago suddenly making perfect sense to me now. Of course Ink and Mar was named after her. Of course .

And suddenly I realized there was meaning in so much more than I realized. “Is that why you chose water to represent her in your tattoos? Because of her name?”