Page 30 of Take the Blame (Seaside Mergers #3)

And I would wash my hands of it because, miffed or not, when it came to his wife, my brother could get ruthless. If Ceci wanted to get her drunk, she could face his wrath on her own.

Luckily Clem seemed happy as she suddenly latched onto Melissa’s hand. “I want to dance! ”

“With me?” Melissa asked, shocked. Clem just nodded furiously before turning big eyes to me and Ceci.

I shook my head. “You guys go ahead. I need a breather.”

“Okay!” Clem started to pull Melissa toward the little dance huddle in front of the DJ’s table, but she thought better of it and doubled back for us.

At first I thought she was going for Ceci since they were best friends, but I was surprised when her thin arms wrapped around me instead.

“Thanks for inviting me, Al, I love being in on sister stuff.”

We watched them go in relative silence. I felt warm with her sweet confession and a little cold at the sad look Melissa gave me as I pulled away from Clem. Almost like she wanted to be a part of it.

I wondered if I was being too hard on Lis. It’s not like she’d done anything outright to me and it seemed sort of unfair to be taking out my frustration on her.

Take it out on me , a familiar voice called to me in my head.

Yeah unfair, especially when I had a volunteer to take the brunt of that frustration just waiting for me to make a move.

A sharp elbow knocked me out of my thoughts before they could spiral too far. Ceci’s glowing irises looked almost catlike in all the ambient orange and yellow lighting of the night. “You know, Clem’s been going through a hard time lately. They both have.”

“Both?” I asked.

“Ox too. Married stuff, I guess,” she shrugged and then adjusted herself to look out toward the party. “I’m not saying to let him off the hook. He can be an ass sometimes, but just keep it in mind, okay?”

I wrinkled my nose, surprised to realize I felt bad hearing that.

Yesterday, I’d been so heated that I’m sure the same news wouldn’t elicit the slightest shred of empathy from me.

Today felt different. Today Harper’s words seemed to really register in my head.

It wasn’t Ox or Melissa or my parents or even Grace I needed to wait on to prove myself.

I was doing just fine proving myself to myself already.

There’s always going to be something going on in other people’s lives.

I had to be the one to fight for the life I wanted and stand as the me I wanted to be now.

And I didn’t need anyone’s permission for that…

Although I did still need a little help.

Brown eyes flashed in my mind and my heart surged in my chest. There was no doubt it was cold out tonight.

We were just a few hours away from November on the east coast, but I felt warm as I thought about all the ways the owner of those eyes had offered to help me lately.

And just how much I suddenly wanted to take him up on all that we hadn’t tried yet.

The sight of Ceci’s grinning face pulled my attention to her as I noticed her attention was set on something over by the pumpkin tent. Connor Ferguson, Clem’s brother and Ceci’s recent best friend turned love of her life, was holding up the two biggest pumpkins I’d ever seen in my life.

“Are you going to carve those?” I asked, my eyes magnetized to the way my sister’s face was lit up. Just weeks ago I’d been so confused by the prospect of the two of them even being friends. Now I couldn’t imagine them away from each other.

“Yeah,” she smiled. “We’re seeing who can carve a better Lila. Loser has to—” She coughed, realizing what she was saying as her cheeks went pink. Who even knew my sister could get embarrassed? “The loser has to do what the other says.”

Got it. She was talking about sex stuff. Which got me thinking…

There was no stealthy way to clear my throat in preparation for this question, but she had already brought it up so… Well, here goes.

“So, um–Connor’s pretty big, right?” I asked, powering straight past the way my voice went high and squeaky. I needed to stay strong. This was for research, after all.

“Yeah, huge why?” she answered without so much as a blink .

I choked on absolutely nothing other than my surprise, taken off guard by the candidness even for her. Tilting her head, she looked at me strangely, her brows pinching down low at my reaction.

It took her three seconds to realize her mistake, her eyes widening into saucers as she did.

“Alta!” she whispered. Grabbing my elbow, she pulled me aside. “You’re talking about…”

She didn’t use words, just a combination of wiggling eyebrows and intense eye contact. When I bit my lip, unable to catch my eyes as they fell in embarrassment, she knew she’d figured me out.

Ceci gave me no time to feel embarrassed, though. Not when she squawked loudly in animated excitement, gaping at me as if she’d never seen me before.

“Who is it?” she asked excitedly. Turning her head, she scanned the party. “Is he here now?”

“Is who here now?” Melissa asked, coming up on the both of us, Clem in tow.

“Alta’s asking about the male equipment. I think she has a date,” Ceci blurted.

“Ceci!”

“What? We’re your sisters, if you can’t talk about it with us, then who?”

“Probably anyone else!” I whined. Covering my face with my hands. “I just wanted to know how you... if it hurts. If it’s hard. Things like that.”

“Well, hopefully it’s hard, Alta…” she said dryly. Suddenly, her eyes widened. “Oh my god, have you never?—”

“What!” I breathed, skin flushing hot with embarrassment. “Of course I have! I’m not a virgin, Celestia.”

“You’re not?” Melissa basically yelled. Her shock was enough to pull all of our eyes to her in the same emotion.

She blinked at me. I blinked at her. Ceci blinked between the both of us. Clementine was the one who gasped .

“Are you ?” My voice was soft but I couldn’t stop the question from slipping out, surprised.

Red like I’ve never seen it before overtook her entire face and she turned to run. Clem and Ceci both stopped her. I interjected right away. “No, Lis, that’s not a bad thing. Surprising, but not bad. That’s good!”

“Can we please direct the subject away from me?” She ducked her head deep into her shoulders as she wrapped her arms around herself. Suddenly she looked like a turtle instead of the angel she was dressed up as.

Ceci cleared her throat pointedly, but I didn’t miss the surprised look she gave Lis too before she leveled her eyes on me. “Since we have sensitive ears present, I’ll answer yes and no only.”

“Hey! That doesn’t mean I’m sensitive!” Melissa whined.

Ceci shook her head. “It’s not that. It’s just, we’re talking about her brother.”

“Oh, God no!” Clem’s hands immediately went up to cover her face, her head beginning to shake like this was her waking nightmare. “No, no! You promised you would never let me hear this!”

“Cover your ears, Ferg,” she said before turning back to me. “So, yes to uh… the first question and no to the second. It’s definitely a stretch but, well, you get used to it after a while… if he knows what he’s doing.”

Clementine gagged.

“I don’t actually know how, um… large yet. I’ve only seen an outline,” I whispered, remembering the prominent shape Harper had sported in the front of his pants after we kissed. This inquiry was part of the reason I hadn’t pursued anything further yet.

Ceci patted my shoulder. “If that’s all you’ve seen and you’re already asking then…yeah. You’re gonna need the help. You should be fine. Just make sure the situation is, ya know, situated. And if all else fails, bring lube!”

“I need a bathroom,” Clem said. “I’m going to be sick.”