Page 67 of Take the Blame (Seaside Mergers #3)

Ox followed her out a moment later to go bark orders at Urse, I’d have to buy her a bouquet or something as an apology for the mess I’d caused. Clay was still gone and Clinton Ferguson sat in his very same seat, watching closely with an unenthused, unamused look on his face.

None of that mattered, though. The hell storm I just created for the SHarper deal didn’t even seem to matter at that moment. The only thing that mattered was Melissa.

“Lis?” I croaked looking at her in confusion. She’d crumbled almost as soon as Grace left, her shoulders drooping like she was exhausted, her eyes shimmering like she might cry. “Lis why did you do that? You didn’t have to fire her for me.”

“And what? Let her keep walking all over you?” She whipped around to face me.

“No way. I’ve seen enough, and I think you have too.

You don’t have to be nice to everyone you know?

Some people don’t deserve the benefit of the doubt.

Some people should just be taken at face value and dealt with accordingly. ”

“I know that. B-but you...” My voice cracked on the word and I sniffled. “You’ve been so mad at me, but you stood up for me anyway? You hate confrontation and you stood up for me?”

She blinked at me like I was crazy and then she moved toward me, her hands grabbing onto my shoulders a moment later. “Al, of course I stood up for you. You’re my sister .”

I felt my throat catch. “Lis.”

“I’m always going to look out for you. I’m always going to take your side.

And I know you’re going through… something lately, and I’ve been trying to give you space for now.

But with this, I just couldn’t.” She shook her head.

“Ox insisted we let you figure it out for yourself but I just couldn’t anymore. ”

“He knew too?”

“Of course he knew,” she huffed in a watery laugh. “But you know him. Everything’s a learning experience. He wanted you to toughen up and stand up for yourself.”

I huffed in disbelief.

Melissa leaned further into me. “But he has no idea you’ve been standing up for me for years.

This is the very least I could do, Al. And I don’t really understand what all that was just now, but I have your back.

I’ll have your back forever, no matter what.

I just want to—I just want to hang out every once in a while, okay? ”

“Okay,” I nodded, falling into the cradle of her arms. “Thanks, Lissy. I really needed you today.”

She hugged me back tight. “You have no idea how much I need you. No more being a stranger.”

“Kay,” I breathed out heavily, feeling lighter even in the wake of the looming anxiety sitting on my chest.

Cutting right through our vulnerable moment, the heavy office door shut with a snap causing Lis and I both to jump.

Still hugging my big sister, I squeezed even tighter, suddenly afraid of what was to come.

Lis huffed her own nervous laughter, knowing just the kind of punishment I was in for. A mad Ox.

The voice that cut through the room was nothing but ice cold anger. “Alta… I’m trying to understand. Please, help me understand.”

Well, shoot.

He was so mad. I could hear it in the calm of his voice. It was easy to forget that even though he took my side in front of outsiders, he would still rip me apart for all the unacceptable actions I’d taken in the past fifteen minutes alone.

I needed to explain, but… I wasn’t really sure myself.

Turning to him, I’m sure my knees knocked together like a crazy cartoon character’s as his tremorous expression speared me. Reading me like a book, he cursed. “You don’t have an explanation, do you?”

“Ox,” I whispered. Pleaded. I just needed a little time to think.

His fingers found the bridge of his nose and he pointed at one of the seats I’d conveniently evacuated the Harper’s from.

“Family meeting. Now ,” my brother growled.

Back and forth. That was the motion of my brother’s steps as he paced the length of his office. He didn’t pace like this unless he was really agitated. And the last time I’d seen him this way, with all of us strewn about this room was back when our abuelo died.

Our group had grown since that last time, with the Fergusons, and I wished that at the very least we could shed the extra members. If this was meant to be my crucifixion, I wanted as few witnesses as possible.

“Are you ever going to explain?” Ox asked, finally done with his pacing as he stood in line with me, an incredulous look on his face.

I started to. I opened my mouth to speak and everything, but my voice stalled out on the memory of Ursula saying Harper’s daughter was dead, and everything after that again became a blur of instinct and intuition.

Peeking up at his expectant face, at all the expectant looks waiting for me to explain, I cracked.

“I don’t know, okay!” I wailed, my hands slapping against my thighs in a helpless motion.

Ox stiffened.

“You…” His eye twitched, and I leaned into my sister beside me. He was being scary. “ You don’t know ?”

Curling away from his wrath, I murmured, “Not yet I don’t.”

In a flash, his face changed. I’d seen exasperated Ox and tired Ox and even angry Ox.

But I think this is the first time I was seeing my brother totally at his wit’s end.

Anger, disappointment, and bewilderment bursting from every seam, with no attempts at squelching it. And it turned my chest inside out.

“What is going on with you lately?” Ox asked .

“With me?” I asked back, confused.

“Yes, Alta, with you ,” he said. “You haven’t been acting like yourself at all, and before we were content to let it play out because it wasn’t jeopardizing things.

But now you’re acting rashly and out of character and it’s coming back on the business, so it’s time to get this figured out.

It’s entirely too late for you to be going through a rebellious stage. ”

I felt my face wrinkle, a prickly feeling crawling up my spine. “Why are you talking like you guys have been discussing me?”

He frowned. “Because we have. Often. In detail.”

“ What ?” My voice pitched high. “What have you been saying?”

“Were you not here two seconds ago?” he grumbled. “We’re all wondering when you’re going to go back to being yourself.”

“All of you?” I asked, my gaze shooting around the room.

“It’s not exactly as he says, mija,” Ama said, suddenly at my side. “Your brother is too harsh. But we just worry about you. You are changing and that scares us.”

“What?” My voice softened, weakened. The word tumbling out in a dejected drop. Around the room no one said anything to oppose either my mom or my brother and it bothered me. I caught my little sister’s eye–my firecracker of a sister who literally lived to cause trouble, and asked, “You too?”

She winced at my expression. “Ox is being a baby, but yeah, Al. I’m a little worried, I guess.”

My stomach twisted with disappointment at each new pair of eyes I caught. Indignation slicked its way under my skin as I realized they were all agreeing against me. Taking my life into their hands again .

My eyes found another pair of brown ones that I knew damn well. Melissa stared back at me steadily, her arms crossed around herself, her face unreadable as she watched me back. “And you, Lis?”

She stared at me. Her eyes boring into my own with crazy focus, saying something without saying it out loud. Being the first one in the room to disagree with a simple shrug.

She was telling me not to be scared. Not to worry and to go for it. She was telling me to try.

Right then, I felt the threshold of something under my feet. A bridge between who I was and who I wanted to be. A clear line separating who I’ve always been for myself and who I allowed myself to be for other people. These people.

I had choices. I could either get on my knees and beg for my family’s forgiveness, resigning myself to being what they expect me to be for the rest of time…. Or I could just be truthful. Because they were the people I was supposed to be comfortable being truthful with, after all.

Looking around the room, I took a long centering breath… Before I totally exploded. “Are you guys kidding me right now?”

“Um no?” Mátti said super unhelpfully, as per usual.

“That was rhetorical,” I snapped. “Because you guys must be kidding!”

Confused faces found each other as they looked around at themselves for an explanation. And there was the problem, right there. They were looking to each other to find answers about me when I was the only one with those answers.

“You say I’ve been acting out of character, and that’s wrong. It’s so wrong. I’ve been acting more in character these past few months than I have for my entire life, and you all are acting like I’m sacrificing babies or something.”

Now I was the one pacing. Turning swiftly on them, I pointed an accusing finger at no one in particular.

“Do you know I’ve never liked being the greeter at parties?

You guys just assume since I’m nice to everyone that I must like everyone, but I don’t.

Half the time I want to smack our tíos and tías for calling me a ‘good girl’ like I'm twelve or something.” I said…

and yo u know what, it felt good to let that out.

Small as it might be, I had been holding onto that grievance for years.

I kept going.

“And I hate coming into your little meetings just to be the yes man you think I am for all these executive assholes. Half of their bullshit I don’t agree with and the other half a sixth grader could have scrounged up.”

Wide eyes followed me as I moved across the floor, expecting me to eventually calm down. But with every word I spoke, I felt more fired up.

“I hate when you guys bring me into your crap because you expect me to play peacemaker, because sometimes I just want to slap all of you! And I hate that Ama and Apa always expect me to be the first one to forgive you guys when you’re the assholes!” Someone gasped at my language.

The laugh that escaped me was freeing if not a little deranged as I ranted.