Page 28 of Take the Blame (Seaside Mergers #3)

It was too late; I was already angry. And maybe not even that, just disappointed.

And maybe it would have been nice of me to be more understanding or forgiving or whatever.

But I was tired of being the only one in the family who had to exercise those skills.

So instead of giving my brother an out, like I always did, I decided to be the brat that I’m sure he thought I was.

And I did it.

I pointed at the schedule. There, taped to the front of my desk as Harper had told me. And then I resumed my typing. “That’s my current schedule, Ox. I was willing to move it around for you before. But I’m not now. Maybe some other time.”

And now all I got was him glaring at me from the other side of our family dinner table. Sulking like I had been the one to constantly disappoint him .

The sharp snap of cutlery on dishes rattled the silence, Amá’s voice coming out like a lashing. “Are none of my children speaking to each other?”

Peeking up, I glanced around the table. None of my brothers and sisters budged, not making any moves to clear the bad air. Normally I would offer myself up first, but I wouldn’t do it tonight.

“Alta?” I winced at the sound of my name out of my mother’s mouth. When I looked up at her she smiled. “Que pasa, mija?”

I felt my heart melt for my mom. She was so good, and she knew I would answer her even when her other children were being stubborn. But I was only first when it came to bringing the peace. I was last for everything else.

My eyes sliced to Ox who was watching me expectantly as he leaned back in his chair with an irritated look on his face. I did something I never did. I glared, just as he would, and his eyebrows rose in surprise.

“Sorry, Amá,” I said. “Children don’t speak unless spoken to.”

“Jesus fucking Christ,” Ox grumbled, his eyes closing for a whole three seconds as he sighed. “Alta, I didn’t mean it like that.”

“Hard to take it any other way.”

“You said that?” Amá asked, sounding appalled at her son.

He pinched the bridge of his nose. “Not in those words.”

“Doesn’t matter if you say it in Spanish too, Ox. Either way, it’s clear you get to pick and choose who you want to be a good brother to,” I said.

“Alta!” Amá’s appalled tone shot to me. “ Basta mija, qué te pasa ?”

“She’s been really mean lately, Ama,” Melissa said out of nowhere. “We don’t know what’s going on with her.”

“Mean?” I asked incredulously.

“Yeah, and you’re an expert on that, huh, Lis?” Ceci grumbled into her water glass.

Lis ducked her head dejectedly.

“It’s probably the company she’s been keeping,” Ox said, glare still intact.

“Are you serious ?” I asked, my voice keening high. “You are such a hypocrite! It’s a tattoo shop not a freaking strip club, Oaxaca! If it was Ceci going there you wouldn’t even bat an eye.”

“And the brute you let boss you around?” he asked. “I thought you knew better than that, Alta.”

The laugh I let out was incredulous. “Harper is not a brute . He’s probably the nicest guy I know. You’re the only one who thinks he can boss everyone around.”

“Um,” apprehension rolled off of my brother Mateo’s tone as he spoke up hesitantly.

His tone was joking and light, though something in his eye held that same tracking quality Ox possessed.

I suspected he was taking this at least a bit more seriously than the others, but Mateo liked to hide himself behind his quips and jabs allowing him to blend in more than even me, so I knew not to count on him to oust himself for me.

“Don’t make her mad, Ox. Remember the last time she got mad? ”

Fifteen years ago. Some girl at school called Melissa a slur and my older sister came to me crying. I hit the girl so hard, she lost a tooth. Sometimes I wish I could stay that version of me, but sadly I’d reverted back to the sweet Alta after I calmed down, even back then.

Ox didn’t back down. He would never. And especially so when his wife was mysteriously missing from this week’s gathering. “No, if she wants to throw a fit, let her.”

“A fit!” I dropped my utensils. “Am I the one who’s throwing a fit because he didn’t get what he wanted once ?

No! Want to know how I know? Because I never get what I want.

Never ! I just wanted you to read one email, Ox!

One, and you couldn’t do that! But you can rent out the whole shore for Ceci or clear out an entire floor so Melissa doesn’t have to be social at work. I’m so done with this!”

I stood, abandoning my half-eaten meal. “I have to go.”

“Al,” someone said from the table, I think it was Ceci. She was probably the closest to knowing what I was going through, though she was off in her own world lately. Off building the life she wanted for herself.

It reminded me that this wasn’t what I wanted for myself. I didn’t just want to be some brat who reacted badly and then left. I wanted to be strong and kind. Not one or the other.

So sighing, I paused in the doorway of the dining room.

Be both. You can be both . I told myself.

“I’m having a Halloween party tomorrow, Ceci knows where. You’re all welcome to come, but only if you can be nice. Because I’m done being the nice one.”