Page 48 of Sway’s Peace (Delivery Service #2)

Sway

Since Sway and the others escaped Rik-Vane, they had only separated for short periods of time on rare occasions.

Even if they went their own way on station leave, they would still be together as it wasn’t like they went to different stations or planets.

They spent years trying to get off of void damned Rik-Vane, and their determination to escape had bonded them tighter than anything else would have allowed among their kind.

The few times someone had separated from the group, it was never for long, and there was always an innate, inwardly driven urge to return.

Sway had never left the group. Usually, he tried not to leave the Humility at all. He wanted to keep busy working. He wanted to distract himself from the bad thoughts and memories that were constantly trying to hunt him down.

Maybe that’s why it was so hard to be the one left behind as he watched the others load up onto the landing shuttle. Why there was this odd sense of gnawing guilt as he stood apart from them, watching them get ready to leave.

Grace was to his left; Loyalty was to his right.

The rest of the crew were loading up, saying goodbye to him.

They already had their next job picked out.

It was a pretty standard job for them – a dangerous chemical delivery to a laboratory.

The pickup and drop off locations were well trafficked enough that Tanin could request the subspace calculations from the locations themselves, so he didn’t need Sway.

And he had learned enough from Sway that he and Alred could get back without help.

Still, Sway was oddly anxious watching them go. Navigation was his job among the crew. It was the only purpose he served. Yet here he was, giving it up, just to speak with a male he still wasn’t sure he even wanted to speak to.

They could handle one simple job without him. But it was still nerve wracking for him to let go and let them try. And that was probably a concern partially born from how careful they used to have to be when their crystals were nearly dead, but he knew that wasn’t all.

No, caution couldn’t explain this sense of guilt and worthlessness gnawing at his gut.

Grace took his hand in hers and squeezed gently, giving him a supportive smile. “They’ll be back in a tenday.”

Sway turned his gaze. The sight of her there, determinedly at his side, made everything seem better. Easier. He could handle this because she was with him. He’d get through this dreadful conversation with the male that was his father, then he could put this behind him for good.

And then only look forward to his future with her.

“I’m not worried,” he said, giving her a smile, and it wasn’t quite a lie. He wasn’t worried… just uneasy.

She cocked her head to the side, searching his face. “Have you been apart from them before?”

“No. Not since we joined together. But it’s not like it was back then. I don’t need them to survive any given day. I’ll be fine.”

She gave him a smile that was at once understanding and sad. “That doesn’t mean you don’t want them. They’re a place of safety for you. It’s natural to feel lost when they suddenly leave you.”

“Don’t worry,” Loyalty said, chuckling, patting his shoulder. “I’ll be here to look out for you. Nothing shall harm you while I’m on duty.”

“I’m not worried,” Sway repeated, giving him dull look, not at all willing to admit that their reassurances were actually working. That would mean they were right and, somehow, he had become dependent on his crew. An act that would be the height of foolishness on Rik-Vane.

But even as he realized it, he didn’t actually feel the pressing need to stop. No matter what, he trusted his crew. They would look after him, as he would look after them. That was the pact that they’d made with each other and had brought them this far.

And as soon as he finished up his business here, whatever that meant, they’d be back. Then, Sway could return to his normal life. He could be useful to them again.

His crew bid him their goodbyes, none of them overly concerned. On a planet populated almost entirely by farasie, there was practically no danger here. And they also knew they’d be back. This separation wouldn’t last long.

Still, he held tightly onto Grace’s hand as the three of them stood back and watched the landing shuttle take off.

Taking his crew with it. Simple, quick, no bumps at all in the ascension.

Of course there wouldn’t be. Tanin was an excellent pilot in his own right.

They’d be fine on their own for one small job.

Then, it was just the three of them left alone on the docks. Neither Grace nor Loyalty moved until he did, turning from the landing platform and walking back towards the Song. He kept hold of Grace’s hand, still drawing strength and purpose from her.

“So, what’s the plan today?” Loyalty asked, looking to Sway with a happy smile on his long muzzle.

“For now, I want to look around. Learn more about my people,” Sway admitted slowly, thinking over the answer as he was giving it.

“I spoke with Vweet yesterday when we were getting ready for the celebration. I didn’t tell him why, just that I wanted a chance to talk to Veesway.

He said he’ll set up a meeting for me. So, until then, I guess I can look around. Get… comfortable?”

He looked to Grace then, not sure what else he was supposed to do.

Either about going around the Song or speaking with Veesway.

Honestly, he wasn’t even sure what he wanted to get out of a conversation with a male that was still just a stranger to him.

Was he hoping to somehow rekindle the relationship with someone that was supposed to be his father?

Maybe ask what happened to them after they were separated?

Ask how he managed to build all this? Ask if, maybe, he knew what happened to Sway’s mother?

Sway had been so certain that he needed to do this. But now that he had the chance, all he wanted was to be back on the Humility.

He had to remind himself that this was a good thing. Sway had forgotten so much about his own people, his past, his culture. It was part of himself he’d needed to cut away for his own survival. And while he didn’t regret it, shouldn’t he be excited about the chance to reclaim it?

What, then, was this niggling feeling in the back of his head? A vague idea that he was missing something important. That there was something obvious he should be seeing.

It was a distinctly uncomfortable sensation. It twisted through his chest, clinging to his heart like a heavy chain determined to drag him downward.

Maybe speaking to his father would illuminate the source of that feeling. Maybe it would even make it go away.

But until he could have that meeting – and probably even during that meeting – he needed guidance.

He wanted to follow Grace. More than learning about his culture, he wanted to learn more about her.

The only part of his people he actually cared about right now was the mating process – and that was only because it was a necessity if he wanted to bond to her.

And he did. Desperately. The brightness of her in his life made all the strain and tension of everything else going on right now worth it. Someone so bright and beautiful, untouched by the harsh reality that had defined his existence, was like a balm on irritated skin.

The sweet music of her voice, the gentle melody of it as she spoke, was the only thing capable of drowning out the screams of his past. When she laughed, everything seemed like it was okay, and like it always would be.

Grace was something completely detached from Rik-Vane.

Sway understood Tanin now in a way he hadn’t been able to appreciate before.

It wasn’t just that he didn’t want her to know the cruelties of his past because it was bad.

More than that, he just didn’t want to stain her with it.

She was oblivious to how horrific the universe could be, and he wanted to keep her that way.

Whatever ended up happening with his father, if he walked away with Grace, he was certain it would be fine.

And she was smiling at him now, like she understood.

Like she knew exactly what he needed from her.

That he needed her to intervene, to get in the way.

Unlike him, she was capable of greeting the world with a true, genuine smile.

She wasn’t lost for words when it came to the friendly inanities of strangers.

She appreciated both his desire and hesitancy about speaking to his father.

And she wasn’t at a loss now either. She didn’t even hesitate to suggest, “Let’s go to the market. I’d love to buy a farasie style dress.”

“Then, I’ll get you one,” Sway said immediately. It was a little thing, but he suddenly wanted that probably even more than she did. And much more than he’d wanted the same clothing for himself. It was much easier to focus on her. It felt right. “I bet you’ll be beautiful in one of their dresses.”

Loyalty pointed to one of the streets. “I think I saw a clothing store down that way.”

Sway wasn’t sure how dress shopping would accomplish his goal of learning about his people. But he also didn’t mind just buying things for Grace. That, honestly, sounded more enjoyable than studying the farasie.

And, he realized quickly, that was exactly the point. Grace could see him so well. She understood him without him even needing to explain himself.