Page 35 of Sway’s Peace (Delivery Service #2)

“I can say, with full honesty, that I didn’t like it.

Doing his experiments brought me no joy, but I still did them.

If anything, some considered me worse than the Master.

They called me the Pacifist. It was an ironic name.

Because I would do anything to keep the subjects alive, even as they begged me for death.

They called it my ‘grace’, in only the most sarcastic way that can be used.

That is the kind of male that I am. You will waste your pity on me, because I do not deserve it. ”

She was giving him a long look now. He fully expected her to run from him again. As she should. He was not a good male. Hadn’t been for a long time.

“You’re not like that anymore,” she said. Though it wasn’t phrased as a question, he still answered it like it was one.

“I’m trying not to be. Tanin promised when he recruited me that I would never need hurt another person if I didn’t wish it.

He’s kept his promise. And I am trying to become a proper farasie again.

I’m a pacifist. I mess up, but I am a pacifist again.

That doesn’t erase what I’ve done though. I know that.”

There. She knew the full truth now. At least, the broadest strokes of it. As much as he was willing to share with her.

And as much as Sway hated it, it felt right.

She didn’t need to know the gruesome details of his life, but she knew who he was.

Garnet was correct. It was best to confess this to Grace now.

So she could realize she needed to leave him.

So he didn’t trick her into staying with a male unworthy of her.

It was the painful truth, but it was the right choice.

Sway could, at least, say his conscious was clear in regards to her, if nothing else.

The warmth of her hand covering his made him freeze.

She reached across the distance between them. She touched him so gently. Her expression was sad, but open and understanding.

“Thank you for telling me.”

He frowned. Confused. Why was she still reaching for him? Why did she look at him so tenderly?

“Did you ever find out what happened to your parents?”

That’s what she chose to focus on? Not the countless deaths by his hands?

“Er, no,” he answered hesitantly. “They’re probably dead.”

“That’s not necessarily true. You survived, right? Maybe they did too.” She gave him a smile that was still tinged with sadness. “Maybe they’re still looking for you. I know I would if I was them.”

“I’ve never tried to find them,” he admitted.

“What are their names? Do you remember?”

Their names. It was something he hadn’t thought about in a long time. He couldn’t remember their faces, couldn’t remember much about them at all. But he remembered that much. “Offwa. My mother’s name was Offwa.”

“And your father?”

He hesitated before answering. Embarrassed to admit it. But he did. Unable to deny her anything. Even something he considered a weakness. “Veesway.”

A smile pulled at her lips. “Veesway? Is that your name too? Your full name?”

“Sway isn’t my birth name,” he admitted. “It’s a name I chose when I left Rik-Vane.”

Because, despite what he told her, he had thought about his parents.

At first. When he initially escaped and suddenly had choices and possibilities before him.

Though it had been fleeting, he did consider them.

He was sure they were dead. He’d never tried to look for them because of that belief.

But when it came time to pick a new name to go along with his new life, that homage to his father was the only thing that came to his mind.

Something that didn’t go over Grace’s head as her entire expression softened with understanding.

“Thank you for telling me. All of it,” she said, once again looking at him with that sweet, endearing expression on her lovely face. One that he didn’t deserve any more than her pity. Unlike her pity, however, he couldn’t reject that, even for her own good.

“You’re not running from me this time,” he said.

“Should I?” She tilted her head playfully, teasing him. Because she knew the answer. Despite his story, she wasn’t afraid of him.

“Probably,” he admitted. “Before I get too attached to want to let you go.”

She giggled. A bright and happy, melodious sound. Music that made his crest twitch as if it would rise as his tail tensed with the desire to spread, to display for her.

The ship beeped, alerting him that they were approaching the space where he could finish the crystal calibration.

Grace recognized what was happening and stood, giving him a smile that, he dared think, was flirtatious.

“You should get to work,” she said. “I’ll see you later.”

As she walked away, she stroked his shoulder.

It was a quick caress, but it left a trail of fire behind where her fingers brushed across his feathers.

And though she was walking away, it was such a welcoming, inviting movement he didn’t at all feel left alone even as she disappeared down the lift, back into the ship.

Could he really be that lucky? Was this a chance for him? Could he have what the captain did? A female who accepted him? Who adored him? Who healed and gave him purpose and peace?

Despite the sticky tar of guilt filling his belly, could he dare to be happy?