Page 34 of Sway’s Peace (Delivery Service #2)

Sway

Anger, bitter, hot, and completely self-directed, burned though Sway’s chest as he went through the motions of flying the ship.

He really wasn’t necessary at this point.

Everything he was doing could be automated by the ship’s AI – not even Alred, just the regular AI.

But he needed something to do with his hands.

Grace ran from him.

Her face had been full of shock and fear.

And she ran.

Of course she ran. Did he expect anything less?

He couldn’t blame her. Or Garnet for that matter. The captain’s mate was wise and correct. He needed to reveal that information to Grace early. She deserved to know who he was. So she could know that it was better for her to run away from him.

That didn’t lessen the hurt of it.

Seeing her turn, watching her hair whip as she ran, struck like lashes against his heart. Pain he had to accept because it was a result of his own actions.

Did he really expect there to be another female like Garnet? One who was unconcerned about their pasts. One who wanted them despite it.

No. Grace was too good for that. She was an elegant and proper female. One of charm and beauty. One who couldn’t be expected to lower herself to mate with a person like him.

The captain was truly a lucky male.

Sway was just getting what he deserved for the choices he’d made. For being selfish and trading so many lives for his own. For all the pain and torture he caused. For all the agony he inflicted with his own two hands.

Weak, self-serving, worthless male. Always choosing the most selfish paths, regardless of how it affected the others around him.

Completely lost in his self-flagellation, Sway didn’t hear the lift moving behind him. Nor did he really pay much attention to the soft footsteps approaching from behind. Garnet came into the bridge to clean all the time.

Though, that stride wasn’t really hers…

There were four seats in the bridge in an arc. He only ever used one. Sometimes, the captain would use the one right beside his when he was learning about navigation or helping Sway with his calculations. However, it was usually just an empty chair. Always there in his periphery.

Sway stilled, his hands tightening into fists on his lap, when Grace sat down.

She perched delicately on the edge of the seat, straightening the skirt of her soft, blue dress. It wasn’t her uniform with its harsh lines and gold accents. It was just a simple, small blue dress, making her appear all the more delicate and lovely.

She didn’t look at him. Her eyes stayed on the dim console before her. For a long time, neither of them said anything. Just sat there in still silence as the displays in the air changed with the incoming data from the ship’s movements as it continued on towards the calibration site.

Was she here to demand he take her back? Was she going to condemn him for his past actions? For lying to her?

He couldn’t react. He must remain strong. He couldn’t blame others for their reactions to the knowledge of his past. Of any of their pasts.

It didn’t matter that he was trying to reclaim his pacifism. It didn’t matter that they had all left the lives and people they used to be back on Rik-Vane. They were just a delivery company now, but they hadn’t always been, and that couldn’t be ignored because it was convenient.

It wouldn’t be fair to expect everyone to just accept that and forgive them for no reason. Garnet, and Goldie for that matter, were strange exceptions to a rule they couldn’t rightfully expect from everyone.

The fact remained, no matter what, that they were killers. They were murderers. And they would kill again if their hands were forced.

As much as Sway wanted to believe he wouldn’t, that he would live as a proper farasie from now on, he knew it wasn’t true. He’d recently watched the captain kill a male that threatened his female, and he felt nothing but a sense of satisfaction from it. If it came to it, he’d do the same.

Their lives were more important. It was worth killing for.

Sway hated how easily that thought came to him, but he still believed it. And he knew he would still do it. If no one else on the crew could, if he was the only one left, he would step up to fight. To kill.

What was another life to weigh on his consciousness? He’d already come this far. He would probably do even more.

Should be doing more…

Grace was right to not want to be associated with him because of that.

“I’m sorry.”

Sway’s head turned quickly. He stared at her, shocked.

She was sorry?

Grace was staring at nothing, her form stiff. She had to feel his eyes on her, but she didn’t look at him. Her gaze remained firmly in front of her, focused off in the distance.

“Grace…”

“You were trying to tell me something, and I ran off without listening. I’m sorry.”

“No!” He said quickly, turning in his chair to face her directly. “You were not wrong for that. You don’t have to force yourself to be around me. I know-”

Grace was shaking her head quickly. Denying his words before he even had a chance to finish them, her face tightening in consternation.

“That must not have been easy to confess. And I didn’t even try to hear you out. Even after you stuck up for me. You risked yourself for me. You broke your pacifism for me. And I couldn’t even do you that common courtesy.”

“Grace…”

“I’m listening now. I hope it’s not too late. Y-You were saying that you were from R-Rik-Vane?”

Her voice warbled. She was scared. Anxious, at least. But she was still sitting there, gritting her teeth, determined to hear him out. He adored her for it, even as he was angry at himself for forcing her into such a position where she had to make herself be around him.

But she was listening. And he wanted that more than anything. He wanted her to hear him. Some part of him wanted her to understand and accept him.

The captain had that. Sway was no better a male than him. Couldn’t he have the same?

“W-Why were you there? On Rik-Vane, I mean,” she whispered, like she was scared to know.

Rik-Vane wasn’t a prison – though it felt like one.

Criminals weren’t condemned to that place.

No, it was more accurate to say they escaped there.

Before the authorities could catch them and send them somewhere else, they chose Rik-Vane.

They must believe they had at least some chance at freedom in that place.

They didn’t. Most died within five years. Some didn’t even last one year. There were no elderly people on that station.

And while it wasn’t officially a prison, it still acted like one.

The peacekeepers might have given up on the station itself, but that didn’t mean they ignored it.

They still monitored the people inside. They kept track of people and their crimes.

And, most importantly, they did their best to make sure that no one escaped.

Grace was asking him why he fled to that place. What he’d done that was so bad, he was willing to risk Rik-Vane over prison.

But…

“I was brought there as a youngling,” he admitted, making her stiffen. “My family left my home planet for a vacation. I think I had to be about ten. Maybe nine. I don’t recall anymore. But our transport ship was intercepted by pirates. My parents and I were captured.”

Grace turned to look at him. Finally. But her expression was one of horror. Her lips parted, but no sound came out, so he continued.

“I was separated from my parents immediately after. I don’t know what happened to them.

I was put in stasis and, I guess, shopped around for a while.

No one wanted to buy an underage farasie.

Our younglings aren’t very strong, so I was considered useless as a slave by most. I don’t know how long I was like that.

I just know that I was dumped on Rik-Vane as useless merchandise. That’s how the Master found me.

“The Master…” Grace repeated, not even really speaking. She mouthed the words, like she was repeating something that was a foreign concept.

And maybe it was. He hoped it was.

“The Master was a scientist who was in trouble for illegal sapient experimentation. He’d escaped to Rik-Vane to continue his research there.

He needed a lab assistant. Someone too weak to pose a threat to him.

Someone he could train and mold. I wasn’t his first choice.

Or even his only choice. I’m just the one who managed to survive. ”

Grace’s face had gone worryingly pale. Sway stopped talking, giving her a concerned look over.

“Are you okay?”

“Am I okay?” She repeated, incredulous. “Sway, you… Oh, my gosh! Are you okay? That’s terrible!”

Sway just stared at her. Unsure of how to react. That looked like pity. And that was wrong. She shouldn’t pity someone like him.

“Don’t feel sorry for me,” he said simply, voice hard. “I am not worthy of it.”

“You were trafficked and enslaved! And to Rik-Vane?! It’s no wonder you had to fight and kill to survive.” She covered her mouth quickly, eyes swimming with tears. “Garnet was right. I should have listened. I shouldn’t have judged so fast. I’m so sorry, Sway.”

“No.” He shook his head. She was getting the wrong idea. “Grace, I am truly not worthy of your guilt. Do not waste it on me.”

“But you…”

“Yes. I was trafficked to Rik-Vane. Yes, I was bought as a slave and tortured. But I am no better than him. I willingly worked for the Master.” He let out a long breath, his head dropping.

Not really with shame, he was long past being ashamed of his actions.

He only dreaded telling her the truth. “He ordered me to kill, and I did. He demanded I help with his experiments, and I did . I had a choice. I could have not done it. He needed me as an assistant or a subject, he didn’t care which.

All it did was make him torment me less. I traded their lives for my comfort.”

“Sway…”