Page 39 of Sway’s Peace (Delivery Service #2)

Sway

Sway had to make a decision, and he didn't have much time in which to do it. They were delivering a shipment of weapons right to the Song of Retrieval.

The Song his father led.

There couldn’t be any doubt. The male looked just like him.

Just like the distant, fuzzy memories from his childhood.

Memories that were faded from time and the decision to not think about them.

He couldn’t live in his past if he wanted to survive the present he’d been in on Rik-Vane.

So, he’d shut those memories away. Refused to linger within them.

Refused to let them become a painful comfort.

But seeing the photo of that confidently smiling male brought it all rushing back.

His father. His mother. Their comfortable nest. The love. The joy.

The agony.

Grace followed him back to the bridge. She took the co-nav seat, silently offering her support, as he tried to quickly work through the riot of emotions running through him. It was hard to explain what he was feeling now in light of this information.

Sway was so certain his parents were dead.

He had no real reason to believe that, it’s not like he ever looked for them or heard as much.

Whatever happened between the moment of his abduction and waking up in the hands of the Master, he never found out and likely would never know.

It had been easier for him to convince himself that they were gone, that there was no rescue coming.

He hadn’t been the only one the Master picked as a possible lab assistant.

There had been other younglings there as well.

He watched them all die due to neglect, abuse, and, worst of all, the soul sucking cancer that was hope.

Greeting each day with the vain, painful hope that that would be the day they were saved, only to go to bed that night with just a little more of themselves chipped away. It turned them into lifeless husks.

Sway couldn’t do that and survive. He’d severed his own hope. His parents were farasie. They were likely dead because of their own pacifistic nature. He accepted that as truth and, without hope to bleed him dry, he could lock away his heart and force himself through each day.

And now, he was faced with the reality that he had been wrong. That his father, at least, had survived their ordeal. And he was days away from potentially seeing him.

He didn't have to. Sway didn't usually leave the ship. The only reason he had to do so recently was because of Grace. He could let Tanin and the others complete the delivery without once stepping foot from the bridge. He could ignore this revelation and just let it pass.

If that’s what he wanted.

Like a coward. Running, like he always did.

The guilt was choking each breath, back in full force, along with all the screams of his past, echoing like screeching nails dragged on glass.

The cargo was loaded up and Sway mechanically went through the steps to start their new flight. They had to be a certain distance away from any planets or satellites in order to swing into subspace, so he began that trip first.

And after setting the path, without a break in his movement, he opened an audio channel to the cargo bay where the captain and others were lingering, inspecting the shipment.

“Captain,” he called out to him through the audio channel.

“ What is it ?”

“I need to speak with you.”

“ Very well. I’ll be up after I finish the inspection. ”

Sway, heart pounding in his chest, sat back in his chair. Without thinking, his gaze wandered over to where Grace was sitting. A steady presence at his side. She didn't look at him until she felt his eyes on her. Only then did she glance over and give him a soft smile.

“Do you want me to step out?” She asked softly, her voice tinged with understanding.

“No,” he said immediately. “Stay. Please.” He didn’t want her gone. The soft music that was the whooshing of her breaths was steadying. It grounded his suddenly wild thoughts.

“Of course.” She beamed. But there wasn’t any happiness in the motion. Just support. It hurt somehow, but in a way he didn’t dislike.

The screen in front of him had three little, yellow bouncing dots on it.

So long as Grace was here, that was the only sign Alred would give that he was around.

He had emerged from his core almost as soon as they left Hir-Fallow.

Alred was an undroitt recall, a technological, sapient being that was just as much of a person, legally, as Sway.

However, he wasn’t, legally, allowed to be their AI.

He was a refugee from Rik-Vane like the rest of them.

He only showed himself to the crew. He was therefore hiding himself from Grace and Loyalty, acting as a normal ship AI when they were around.

Those three dots, in his distinctive yellow color, were the only way he could freely communicate while Grace was there. The way they were bouncing was curious, interested. He was trying to figure out what Sway wanted to talk to Tanin about.

Sway wasn’t sure what he wanted yet, but he had to figure it out quickly as it didn't take long for Tanin to finish the cargo inspection. He and Garnet both came up the lift together. Sway stood, taking Grace’s hand without thinking as she did the same.

Her grip was steady, warm and comforting, as he faced them.

Tanin came to a halt only a few steps away, expression impassive, while Garnet looked on curiously. She glanced down at the way he held Grace’s hand and smiled but said nothing.

Sway couldn’t let Grace go. He didn't know what it was about this female, but he wanted her with him always.

Especially now when he felt like he was being torn up on the inside.

The sound of her breaths, the gentle beating of her heart, the way her clothes swished, her shoes clicking on the ground, were a beautiful symphony that he needed to keep away the bad thoughts. To help him think.

“What did you need?” Tanin asked, getting to it immediately. He no doubt noticed that Sway was affected by something, but he wasn’t the type to gently pull an answer from him. His question was as direct as his burning red gaze.

“Captain,” Sway started seriously, “that colony we’re going to…”

“The Song?” Tanin cocked his head when Sway’s voice trailed off. “Your people call groupings like that songs.”

“Right.” Sway’s jaw tightened. He didn't know that. About his own people, he didn't know something that basic. “The Song. I think the leader… The leader is my father.”

Garnet gasped, covering her mouth. Tanin’s brow cocked, but he otherwise remained unmoved.

“Really,” the captain said neutrally.

Sway hesitated before nodding once. Not because he wasn’t sure, but because it seemed strange to acknowledge it. To say it out loud.

“I see.” Tanin straightened his head. “So, what do you want?”

Sway hesitated again. Genuinely because he wasn’t sure this time. Grace squeezed his hand, and he drew strength from her presence to admit exactly that. “I don’t really know.”

“Is it a bad or a good thing?” Garnet asked, her tone cautious.

“I don’t know,” he said again. “My parents and I were separated when we were abducted by pirates. I haven’t seen him since I was a child.”

“Aw!” Garnet let out a long sound of painful joy, her eyes welling up. “And he started a group dedicated to finding stolen people? Sway, he must have been looking for you this whole time!”

Had he? It made sense. Sway was surprised he hadn’t made that rather obvious connection himself already. Though, maybe he was just more focused on the fact that it was his father at all.

“Do you want to see him?” Grace interjected to ask. An even more basic question than what he wanted to do.

He wanted to say that he didn't know again. No, he wanted to hide away from this problem. To not confront it at all. He wasn’t even sure why.

Surely, it should be a good thing to see his father once again, right?

The faded memories he had of him were of a big male with warm, loving arms who always kissed and adored his mate and spoiled and played with his son.

But it was so long ago. And it hurt to remember those things. How much worse would it feel to actually look him in the face again?

At the same time…

“I can’t not see him,” he said at last. “I don’t know what I would say to him. I don’t even know if there’s a point to meeting him after all this time. But… I think I should.”

“But do you want to?” Grace asked, pressing her point.

He chuckled, turning his gaze onto her. The expression on her face was quite fierce. Determined. Like the answer to the question was extremely important.

“If I said no,” he spoke her to softly, not really excluding the captain, but it was clear he was speaking only to her, “what would you do?”

“We’d stay in here until after the delivery, of course,” she said firmly, her hand tightening. “I know he’s your father, and yeah, he might have been searching for you, but what you want and what’s best for you also matters. You can delay this until your ready, or even never do it at all.”

He chuckled, enchanted by her fierceness. It would be easy to do as she said, but…

He her hand back, offering her a tired smile. “I think I want to see him. That’s the best I can say for now.”

She gave him a wide smile. “In that case, I’ll go with you.”

Relief rushed through him at her words, and he nodded, grateful.

Was this what she meant by being adored? Unwavering support and kindness. He could certainly do that for her.

“Very well,” Tanin said, focusing their attention back onto him. “My point of contact with the colony is a male named Vweet. He’s the one I’m supposed to make the delivery to.”

“I’ll make the delivery with you.”

The statement was firm, but his heart wavered. Nervous. Uncertain.

***