Page 8 of Sugar, Spice, and Magical Moonlight (Midlife Menace #2)

Their room had a balcony that overlooked the jungle with colorful birds and a bed that could’ve fit five people, or else a big cow and a little pixie.

The ocean breeze blew their patio door curtains into the room as the sun set over the horizon.

Frederica sat on a bench at the foot of the bed with what reminded me of a flat cheese grater.

I cringed when she started filing her hooves, and dark, flaky stuff fell to the carpet.

Ethyl buzzed to the open doors, waving at her lover. “Freddie, could you please do that outside?”

Frederica’s heavy brow drew down. “Ya. Sorry.” She heaved off the bench and stomped onto the balcony.

The floors shook when Frederica sat on a bench outside, and I hoped the balcony was strong enough to hold her weight.

Ethyl winced as the sawing sound of Frederica filing her hooves echoed from outside.

When the wind shifted, blowing more hoof dandruff into the room, Ethyl squealed and slammed the doors shut.

She looked at me with a frown, her freckled cheeks coloring. “Sorry about that.”

“I don’t clean the carpets.” I shrugged. “Maybe apologize to the ghosts.”

“Sorry!” Ethyl called to the ceiling.

A shiver coursed through me when the lights flickered in response.

A smile etched into her features as she flopped onto the bed. “Isn’t it lovely here?”

“It is,” I answered as I sat beside her, knowing I had to hurry before that stunning spell wore off my probably very pissed-off boyfriend.

Stunning him hadn’t been my smartest idea, but I’d been angry and frazzled.

I knew Ric would make me regret my actions soon enough.

In the meantime, I was still determined to make that video.

“Hey.” I slipped my phone from my pocket, handing it to Ethyl. “How do I make a WitchTok video?”

Her pink ponytail bobbled as she took my phone. “Um, why?”

“Because they are persecuting me on WitchTok.” I tried my hardest to keep the whine from my voice. “I should be allowed to defend myself.”

Frowning, she pushed the phone back into my hands. “It’s not safe.”

“Why?” I squeezed the phone, panic and dread ratcheting up my spine. “Can they trace us?”

She shook her head. “WitchTok has wards to make everyone’s location anonymous.”

I sucked in a breath. “You sure?”

She leaned back on the bed, her rainbow-hued wings drooping behind her. “Serena used WitchTok when the Insurgi were underground. The Tribunal never found her, did they?”

I tried to get her to take the phone. “Then, let’s make a video.”

She waved the phone away with a scowl. “They’ll slay you, Luci.”

“It’s a chance I must take,” I insisted. “I can’t remain silent while my aunt tells lies about me to all strigadom.”

Her shoulders fell as she heaved a breath. “Fine.”

I sent a silent thanks to the Goddess, even as an overwhelming sense of guilt twisted a knot in my chest. Did I feel good about myself for the way I’d treated Ric?

No. Did I deserve every curse and hex that came my way?

Probably. But I wasn’t doing this for me.

I was doing this for Des. Until I cleared my name, he wouldn’t be safe, either.

Ethyl set up my camera on a little tripod.

Of course, she had all the video editing equipment, since she had an anonymous page dedicated to the ASMR sights and sounds of Puffy eating while invisible.

We were ready to go in under a minute. Good thing, too, because my stunning spell would wear off Ric at any moment.

She hovered behind the phone camera, her wings furiously buzzing. “Let’s practice what you’re going to say.”

I flinched when I heard a thud down the hall. “No!” I insisted a little too emphatically. “Let’s go live.”

Her jaw dropped. “Live?”

“Yep!” I said while straightening my robe and slicking back my hair. “Now!”

Her eyes widened, but then she hit record, and I suddenly froze like a gnome in a wandlight’s glare, that red recording light flashing at me like a strobe of doom.

I finally managed to swallow back my shock while finding my voice.

“Greetings, my fellow striga.” I couldn’t erase my frozen smile if I tried.

“It is I, Luciella Lovelle.” I splayed a hand across my chest. “Speaking to you from an undisclosed location.” I made the mistake of glancing at Ethyl, who had a gnome-in-a-cat’s-crosshairs look.

I wished I had something to quench my suddenly parched throat.

“First off, I’d like you to look into my eyes and notice that I’m not a demon.

” I jutted my face in front of the camera, peering into it while pulling down my eyelids.

“And look. Sugar doesn’t bother me.” I waved my wand, summoning my fairy godfather.

Shu materialized with a scowl, his hair in hot rollers and a green mud mask on his face.

“Shu.” I flashed what I hoped was a dazzling smile.

“Could you please get me a sweet lemonade?”

He rolled his eyes to the ceiling while summoning a tall, frosty glass. “Thirsty after all that moaning I heard coming from your room?” he asked while handing me the lemonade.

My smile felt as if it was encrusted in concrete as I took the glass from him. “Shu, we’re live on WitchTok.”

Shu gasped, his hands flying to his face. “Oh, dragon dung!”

My hand shook as I took several sips of the drink, hoping it would soothe my parched throat, though the sour lemons only tightened my throat more. “Mmm,” I said aloud before handing the drink back to Shu. “See? Not a demon.” A burp escaped me, and I slapped a hand over my mouth. “Oopsie!”

Ethyl moaned and Shu snickered.

I folded my hands in front of me, pretending as if I was a classy lady and not a crass witch with the manners of a troll.

“Now, let’s address the real reason I’m in hiding.

My aunt has already made it clear that she doesn’t care about me.

She only wants to control the Phoenix for her own self-interest.” I chose my words carefully, not admitting to being the Phoenix, but not denying it, either.

There was no way I was exposing my son to the vultures.

“Rest assured, I don’t plan on hiding forever.

” I glared hard at the screen as anger boiled my blood.

“But if my aunt and the Insurgi want me to help battle the demons, they need to stop trying to capture me like I’m a prize to be won.

Once I’m reassured that my family and I are safe from the Insurgi’s manipulation, we will come out of hiding.

” I forced another wide smile, even as I felt a chunk of lemon wedged in my teeth.

I gave a start when the door burst open and Ric stood in the doorway, chest heaving, his expression murderous.

Shu fanned his face with his hand, his eyes lasered on my pissed-off boyfriend.

Smoothing trembling hands down my legs, I smiled serenely at the camera. “Thank you all for your understanding.” My shoulders slumped when Ethyl hit stop on the phone. Then I faced my angry boyfriend, shards of icy fear puncturing my veins.

“Oh, my!” Shu looked from Ric to me. “Please tell me this is foreplay and your big stud isn’t about to eat you—for real.”

Ric stalked toward us and snatched the phone off the cradle, swiping the screen. When his golden lion’s eyes shone from behind slitted lids, Shu draped a hand across his brow and fell onto the bed beside me.

“So many pheromones.” Shu panted, loosening his robe. “It’s getting hot in here.”

Shaking his head, Ric handed me the phone. “Exactly what I said would happen.”

Though I deserved it for immobilizing him, something about the bite in his tone reminded me too much of Colin’s condescending rebukes. Frowning down at the screen, my chest caved inward as I read through the comments.

-The Insurgi aren’t hunting her. They’re trying to keep her safe.

-All that moaning? We know the real reason she’s hiding. She cares more about dick than demons.

Of all the nerve! They were right, of course. Still, they didn’t know that!

Shu looked over my shoulder, gasping as I scrolled down the screen. The comments were multiplying like a nest of gnomes.

Did I want to read more comments? Yes, and no. The comment section was like a midair collision between two drunk dragons. I couldn’t stand to watch it, yet I couldn’t look away. I swallowed while scrolling down, hoping the nicer comments were buried beneath the cruel ones, but no such luck.

-What a selfish brat. Serena Sagredo has sacrificed everything to lead the Insurgi and fight demons.

-She doesn’t even call herself a Sagredo.

-Crass American. She’s an embarrassment to the Sagredo line.

-She definitely came from the wrong end of the cauldron.

My heart sank with each comment, but the next one boiled my blood. How dare they talk about my dad who wasn’t alive to defend himself!

-I heard a rumor her father was a Vindicti.

-Seriously? Her father was a Vindicti?

-Not a rumor. It’s true. My cousin works for the tribunal, and they found all the old records on her parents. He was a Vindicti priest. He enchanted her mother and took her from her family.

Lies! Lies! Lies! If my aunt was behind this, I’d never forgive her, for she knew that my father had defected from the Vindicti (a secret sect of priests that worshipped and served demons) after falling in love with my mother.

-No wonder the Phoenix refuses to hunt demons.

I dropped the phone like it was a hot potato, tempted to incinerate it with my wand. I gaped at Ric and Ethyl. “What the hex?”

Ethyl snatched the phone off the bed, her wings feverishly buzzing as she fluttered back. “Don’t reply to them, Luci.”

Jumping from the bed, I advanced toward her. “But they’re wrong.”

Her face paled, then colored as she looked to Ric for backup. “You’ll only make it worse.”

“Why would they say these things?” I paced the floor, anger gnawing a hole in my gut. “They don’t even know me.”

Ric fell into a chair, dragging a hand down his face. “Because they’re paid trolls working for your aunt to discredit you.” His disappointed expression made me want to crawl out of my own skin. “And you fell right into their trap.”

A steaming cauldron of rage threatened to explode my skull as I shot him a heated look. “You expect me to stand by while my aunt tells lies about me?”

“Yes.” Twin suns flashed in his eyes, and his nose lengthened, then flattened as his voice dropped to a lion’s rumble. “Now you’ve given them more ammunition to slander you.”

“There was nothing wrong with my video,” I argued, though my voice sounded flat, even to my own ears.

He shook his head, snickering. “You don’t understand the politics at work here.”

I bristled at his patronizing tone. “Oh, so I’m stupid?”

“I didn’t say that, but you’re not a social media expert.” His voice rose to a defensive pitch. “You don’t know how to play the game.”

“Then, how about we get someone who does?” Ethyl squeaked. “The Enchantress said she wants to meet you.”

Ric thoughtfully rubbed his bearded chin. “Not a bad idea.”

Dread drilled a hole through my chest. “No, not her.”

“Why?” Ethyl whined.

I couldn’t hold back my laughter. “Have you seen her videos?”

“Yes.” Ethyl sighed, her wings drooping as she sank onto the bed. “She’s amazing.”

“Gag me with a wand.” Shu bobbled his head like a wind-up diva. “She’s so lame.”

“Thanks, Shu,” I said to my fairy godfather. Lame was an accurate descriptor. “There is no freaking way anyone is that perfect in real life.”

Not that I watched her often, but the few times I’d been foolish enough to doomscroll on WitchTok, her videos always came up first. She was so annoyingly happy and serene, using her magic to draw sparkly hearts in the air while dressed in some ridiculous ball gown like she was a cheesy fairy-tale godmother.

Her hair and makeup were always flawless.

Her whole act had to have been an enchantment—which made me dislike her even more.

Ethyl’s eyes shifted to green, indicating mischief as she crossed her arms and leveled me with a smirk. “You sound jealous, Luci.”

“I’m not jealous of her. ‘Kisses, kisses, and magical wishes’?” Tossing my hands in the air, I let out an unladylike snort. “Give me a break.”

“Everyone loves her.” Ethyl clasped her hands to her chest with an exaggerated sigh. “She could sway strigadom in your favor.”

When her eyes shifted from cobalt to a light pink, I knew we were in trouble. Her eyes only turned pink when her heart was going pitter-patter, a rarity. I hadn’t remembered seeing her do this with Frederica or any of her other lovers.

“I don’t need her,” I insisted.

I wasn’t reassured by the knowing look Ric gave Ethyl. Why did Ric want her to come here? Did he really think she could help, or was he also mesmerized by her pouty lips?

“Des would love to meet her,” Ethyl said.

My gaze snapped to her. “Des?”

“Yeah.” She bit her lip, batting her lashes. “He has a huge crush on her.”

I waved her away with a snort. “He’s too young to have a crush.” Not my son! I refused to believe it, not when he was supposed to be my baby forever.

“He’s almost a teenager.” Ethyl wagged a finger. “You need to let him grow up, Luci.”

I shot her a scowl, then scooted back when Ric snatched my phone. “What are you doing?”

He tapped the screen, his brows drawn in concentration. “Deleting your video.”

“It’s too late,” Ethyl grumbled. “I’m sure there’re plenty of copies circulating all over WitchTok by now.”

I wanted to protest, but after pissing off Ric with that spell, I decided it best to leave things alone.

Maybe I should’ve asked him to delete my account.

WitchTok really was a waste of my time. I had better things to do than watch striga make fools of themselves for the camera.

What did I need WitchTok for, when I did a perfectly good job of making a fool of myself on my own?

I jerked back when a loud gong sounded from somewhere below the bedroom.

Ethyl let out a squeak, fluttering about the room like a bird trapped in a cage.

Frederica finally opened the patio doors after shaking out her hoof cheese grater.

A powerful gust of wind hit her while she shoved the doors shut, her dildo horns waving like inflatable tube men.

The minotaur turned to us with eyes as wide as saucers. “What is that?”

Ric motioned toward the bedroom door. “The dinner bell.”

I fell onto the bed, my stomach and my world turning upside down. I really didn’t want to have an interview with that annoying striga, though I was starting to see I didn’t have a choice. “I don’t have an appetite.”

Ric surprisingly held a hand out to me. Had he forgiven me already? He waggled his brows. “I asked the chef to put more crepes on the menu.”

That got my attention. “Crepes, you say?” My appetite suddenly returned. “I might be able to stomach a little food.”