Page 38 of Sugar, Spice, and Magical Moonlight (Midlife Menace #2)

R ic and I hid behind a large plant behind the archway leading to the foyer.

I was shocked to see Bea hovering over the Enchantress and Nimue, her wings rapidly buzzing.

Two terrifying, inky black wells leeched into the whites of her eyes, her dilated pupils visible from between the dark curtain of hair that hung over her face.

She reminded me of a child from a horror film who’d just crawled out of a black and white television screen as her hands curled into claws.

Holy Goddess! What the hell was she?

“I was supposed to be there!” she screeched so loudly, I feared my eardrums would burst as I covered my ears with my hands.

The Enchantress cowered in Nimue’s arms while blinking up at Bea with glossy eyes. “We couldn’t wake you.”

“But I was supposed to be there!” Bea thrust a tiny fist into the air. “Be there!”

“It’sss not our fault you fffainted,” Nimue argued.

Bea’s nostrils flared, her cheeks turning flame red. I feared that, any moment, her head would pop off her shoulders. “You could have carried me.”

“It would’ve looked suspicious if we’d walked into the game with a sleeping sprite,” the Enchantress argued.

Bea’s head twitched like a robot with faulty wires. “So?”

Ric loudly cleared his throat, stepping into the foyer. “Everything okay here?”

Bea’s face solidified into a block of granite. “Everything is fine,” she said from between clenched teeth.

I followed Ric, squeezing my lipstick wand.

The Enchantress heaved a shaky sigh as she gave me an appreciative smile. She unzipped Nimue’s pack and handed me a large paper bag. “Here’s your prescription and tampons, a year’s supply of both.”

A year! What a relief! Now if we could keep the gnomes away.

“A year!” Bea screamed, her cheeks turning a deep crimson.

Why was Bea upset that we had a year’s supply? Was it because she wanted us to expose ourselves to the Insurgi sooner?

I flashed Nimue and the Enchantress an appreciative smile. “Thanks.”

Bea buzzed down until she was eye level with the Enchantress. “Let’s retire to our room to talk, to talk.”

There was no mistaking the stoop of the Enchantress’s shoulders as she and Nimue followed Bea.

“If we ever had any doubt who’s in charge, now we know,” Ric said in a hushed whisper while watching them leave.

“What do we do?” I asked.

He released a long breath. “We need to confront the Enchantress without Bea there.”

“How?”

Ric shrugged. “Get her to faint.”

“Hmm. Shouldn’t be hard. Just piss her off.” I looked into the bag and swore.

Ric rubbed my shoulder. “What’s wrong?”

“Nothing but super jumbo tampons.” I waved a heavy box in his face. I might not have been as thin as the Enchantress, but that didn’t mean my lady garden was as big as a rainforest. I did Kegels, for Goddess’ sake! “No doubt, this was meant as an insult.”

Ric waggled his brows, placing my hand against his very large and very hard groin. “Or maybe she knew I’ve been stretching you out.”

“Oh!” Heat flushed my face and raced like wildfire straight to my lady parts, turning that trickle in my undies to a full-out gush while I thought how very much I needed a stretch, and not the yoga kind, either, but the Oh Goddess! Yes! Yes! Yes! kind.

His nostrils flared, his low growl making my ovaries weep. Perhaps the Enchantress was right to assume I had a rainforest down there, because Ric certainly made me as wet as one.

“Maybe we should try some stretching exercises,” he rumbled.

I flattened my hand against his hard chest. “We’ll have to make it quick. We have to keep an eye on our guests.”

“Don’t worry, mi amor ,” he purred, nibbling on my ear and turning my insides to jelly. “I know how to make you come fast and hard.”

When he brushed his lips across mine, I instinctively wrapped my arms around him, my thigh accidentally, on purpose, brushing across his super jumbo-sized wand.

I didn’t fight him when he pulled me upstairs to his bedroom. Ric’s way of stretching was far more relaxing than yoga, and a lot more fun.

I HAD FORGOTTEN HOW much I missed baking, but with Ric’s ghost servants out of the way, Ethyl and I had the kitchen to ourselves.

The kitchen was magnificent, with concrete counters, natural oak cabinets and shelves, three sets of double ovens, a walk-in fridge and freezer, and picturesque leaded glass windows leading to a verdant jungle.

It felt like we were in an outdoor kitchen when we opened every window, letting in the refreshing island breeze, while the screens kept out the mosquitoes.

The smells of fragrant tropical flowers blended with cinnamon, butter, and onions as we baked up a storm, from loaves of bread, to quiche, cakes, and cinnamon rolls, and of course, pizzas for Des.

I made several to freeze too. I noticed the entire kitchen was stocked with huge bags of my favorite gluten-free flour and all my go-to baking supplies, which meant Ric had been to the island to prep for our arrival.

This should have pleased me, right? So why was I perturbed at him for doing all this without consulting me first? I was being petulant and unappreciative, considering all Ric had done to keep my family safe, and yet I couldn’t help myself.

Frederica proved to be very helpful with chopping onions and lifting heavy bags of flour off the high shelves.

But mostly, she was the taste tester. With her never-ending appetite, she ate the quiche as fast as we could make it.

I didn’t mind, though. Ethyl was in a better mood with Frederica around, which made me happy for my cousin.

Shu stopped in to bemoan the drudgery of perusing Ric’s massive library after Des had left him to work on his homeschooling computer program in his bedroom.

He’d changed into his Jazzercise outfit, neon green pants, a hot pink ripped T-shirt that hung over one shoulder, and a matching headband and leg warmers.

His hair was spiked in a mullet to end all mullets, with enough hairspray to open a wormhole in the ozone layer.

Aerosol hairspray stock must’ve shot up in value after Shu had been released from his time capsule prison.

Ethyl and Frederica promised to return to help after finishing with the baking and gave him a slice of quiche and a cinnamon roll in recompense.

Shu remained with us while sipping my attempt at a cappuccino with the ancient café press. At least I’d gotten the froth right. Shu slurped it down with a grin.

I kept checking the clock and the verdant garden through the windows for any signs of Ric. He’d gone in search of his ghost servants and had yet to return. How odd that the ghosts, some of which had been with him for decades, had left.

By the end of the day, our aprons and hair were covered with flour, and somehow two cinnamon rolls had magically disappeared from the cooling rack.

I had a feeling it had to do with that white glob of dragon doo on the counter that Ethyl insisted was icing while she quickly cleaned it with disinfecting spray.

She shared a look with Frederica before turning to me. “We’re going for a swim if you don’t mind.”

I shrugged. “Of course not. Thanks for your help,” I said to them.

Ethyl patted her hip and loudly whistled, and I felt the beating of little dragon wings displace my hair as her invisible dragon followed them.

I encouraged Shu to stay by offering him a slice of pizza while I cleaned the few remaining dishes.

Ric finally came into the kitchen with a long face and sat at the counter beside Shu. Without trying to look too obvious, Shu pushed his empty pizza plate to the other end of the counter while warily eyeing my boyfriend.

I wiped my hands down my pants, hoping I didn’t smell too tempting.

I set boxes with six large quiche, two sausage pizzas, and two dozen cinnamon rolls on the counter and then quickly backed away, lest I lose a few fingers.

Ric took the boxes with a sheepish grin and returned five minutes later, a few crumbs on his shirt reminding me of his ravenous appetite.

“Thanks for the snack,” he said with a wink. “It was delicious.”

Snack, huh? I shuddered to think of his grocery bill.

“Well,” I said after returning from putting away the last of the cinnamon rolls in his huge walk-in fridge. “Did you find the ghosts?”

He grimaced. “Yes.”

I leaned over the counter, eyeing him intently. “And?”

“They’re hiding in a cave at the other end of this island.” He nodded in the direction of the beach where the sirens hung out.

Sheesh. What was so bad here that they’d rather be with man-eating sirens?

I quirked a brow. “How did you manage to see them?” I’d thought the siren beach and adjoining cave were off-limits to all males.

He shrugged. “I called to them long enough that Emilio finally met me in the nearby jungle.”

The rude barista would certainly not be happy if he ever returned and found the mess I’d made of his press. I could only imagine the insults that would follow.

Shu turned on his stool while sipping his cappuccino, coffee grounds stuck to his lips. “Why did they leave?”

The color drained from Ric’s face. “They’re afraid of Bea. They say she’s a banshee.”

I swallowed back a lump of bile at the thought. I had always thought banshees were dark, dangerous spirits, not childlike sprites. “How is that possible when she doesn’t appear dead?”

Ric shrugged. “I don’t know.”

Shu swiped coffee grounds from the rim of his cup with a sigh. “Will they ever come back?”

“Only if Bea leaves,” Ric answered.

Damn. So much for my vacation in exile.

Ric stiffened, then abruptly stood, shadows falling across his features. “They’re coming.”

I tensed, my hand instinctively clutching the lipstick wand in my pocket when the Enchantress and Nimue walked into the kitchen. Actually, Nimue slithered while also sweeping up every floor crumb with her thick tail. Goddess, I hope she had a good nighttime scrub and moisturizer routine.

Ever the gentleman, Ric gave them a short bow. “Good evening, Enchantress, Nimue.”