Page 19 of Sugar, Spice, and Magical Moonlight (Midlife Menace #2)

“Of course.” She flashed a tight smile that didn’t mask the coldness in her eyes. “But if you would be so kind.” She snapped her fingers, and her waif of a servant appeared with a big box of chocolates, holding it out to me.

Of course, demons hated sugar. I would’ve been insulted by this demon test, except I recognized the label on the box and knew these were gourmet.

My ex’s parents had brought me back a similar box during one of their many European vacations, and I’d devoured it in one sitting, despite Colin nagging me that the calories would go to my butt.

No doubt, Colin was upset because my round behind only made his wand look smaller than it already was. Luckily, Ric didn’t have that problem.

I flashed the sprite a wide grin and took two chocolates for now while slipping another into my pocket.

“Don’t mind if I do.” I unwrapped the first candy and plopped it into my mouth.

Smooth milk chocolate and hazelnut cream!

Mm. The next was a dark chocolate truffle, and I practically had a foodgasm when it melted on my tongue.

A groan of delight escaped me as I licked chocolate off my fingers.

Ignoring the Enchantress’s judgmental scowl, I blurted, “Does Nimue eat children?”

“No.” One corner of her mouth hitched up in a devious grin. “She only eats me.”

I raised my eyebrows while wondering if Nimue’s hiss was as good as Ric’s purr. Doubtful, otherwise, the Enchantress wouldn’t act like she had a giant wand wedged up her ass.

“One more test,” she said, her smile fading as she whipped out her phone and played an obnoxious ringtone that sounded like a dozen cuckoo clocks ringing at once.

“Sheesh!” I arched back with a scowl. “You could’ve warned me.

” I sighed in relief when she muted the ringtone.

“Satisfied yet?” A demon would’ve lost her cool at the obnoxious sounds, just like the succubus that had smashed creepy Lenny’s grandmother’s cuckoo clocks before turning him into a pile of goo.

The influencer gave me a curt nod. “Now we shall begin.” Then she motioned toward her servant. “We’re ready, Bea.”

Bea was also her camera woman, because she set up a phone on a tripod and then shook three bright lights out of her wand that floated above our heads .

Lovely, now all the world will get an up-close view of my fine lines and eye bags.

The Enchantress pushed me out of the shot with surprising strength for such a thin striga who probably only subsisted on a slice of apple and a cracker a day.

Oh, good. Maybe I won’t have to be on camera.

The Enchantress waved a wand over her face, making her skin glow and a glittering aura pulse off her. The annoying influencer pursed her shimmery lips, and for a moment, I thought she was going to make out with the camera.

Bea counted down on her fingers before saying, “Action!”

The Enchantress’s entire facade changed from scowling, entitled princess to smiling, benevolent goddess. I’d known it was an act. How was the rest of the striga population so duped by this phony?

“Good evening, my darling enchanters.” Glittery sparkles flew off the tip of her wand as she waved it through the air. “You will not believe from where I am posting. I’m live in a super secret location with none other than the infamous Phoenix!”

Infamous?

“Say hi, Luciella.” She tugged my sleeve, pulling me into the shot, again with amazing strength.

“Hi.” I timidly waved while worrying I had a booger bat fluttering around in my nostril cave when I felt a tickle in my nose. Goddess, that would be next-level embarrassing. Let the world think I’m demon-possessed, but don’t let them see my nose crusty!

Luckily, the Enchantress pushed me out of the shot again with her hip. I stumbled away, nearly tripping over my own feet. Sheesh. Where did she get the strength?

The Enchantress hogged the screen while making kissy faces for her fans.

“I only met the Phoenix a few hours ago, so my opinion of her hasn’t formed yet, but our introduction was interesting, to say the least.” She paused, her lips pursed while she crooked a finger toward me.

“Before we begin our week-long series of interviews, I have a few questions.”

I swiped the back of my hand across my nose, praying I didn’t make things worse, even as the tickling in my nostril intensified. “Sure,” I said while taking a hesitant step toward her and in view of the camera.

She arched a brow, that dazzling smile dropping while she fixed me with a predatory glare. “Why did you so brutally attack those Insurgi?”

I gaped at her for a moment, blindsided by the question. Brutally attack? Seriously? “I-I was defending my family,” I stammered.

Violet eyes narrowing, she jutted manicured hands on her hips. “Couldn’t you have disabled them in a more peaceful way?”

I was supposed to choose peace while they were trying to kill us? Heat from my growing agitation crept into my cheeks. Just as I was about to tell her off, Ric loudly cleared his throat, cutting me a warning look from across the room.

Blowing out a breath, I forced myself to keep my cool, though I was sorely tempted to hit the bitch with a stun spell or a curse of raging flatulence. “They were threatening us,” I said in as calm a tone as I could muster, “so I neutralized the threat.”

She tapped a finger to her chin, appearing lost in thought, though I knew it was a ruse.

“I’ve researched Phoenixes throughout history, and they’ve been far more peaceful than you.” If looks could kill, her stare would’ve turned me to ash. “Why is that?”

“I am peaceful.” My voice rose with my pitch as I struggled to get my anger under control. “Just not when mercenaries are trying to harm us.”

“Mercenaries?” The bitch had the nerve to laugh. “Isn’t that an exaggeration?”

Oooh, I’d had enough. Attitude locked and loaded, I aimed and fired. “They were chasing us. One pointed a wand at my head. The other jumped on the hood of our truck. What would you call them?”

She turned her bleached white smile back toward the camera. “One thing I stress to all my followers is to practice mindful magic.” She cut me a side-eyed glare. “Do you understand what mindful magic is?”

Sounds like bunch of trollshit , I wanted to answer, though I bit my tongue, very aware of Ric inching closer.

“No,” I answered instead, while inwardly seething.

“It means to think of others before using the might of your magic. Every being has value. From the smallest of gnomes to the biggest of dragons.” She pinched her fingers together, then threw her arms out wide.

“And as alpha witches.” She wagged a finger in my face, as if she was scolding a toddler.

“It’s our duty to be mindful of all of them before using magic against them. ”

My bones rattled with anger. As if I needed a lecture from this phony. “I am mindful.”

She gave me a long, cool stare. “So you’ve never regretted using a spell against anyone?”

My face heated when I thought of that stun spell I’d used on Ric yesterday. “Well, yes.”

She pursed her lips, haughtily turning up her chin. “Then you’re not mindful, and as the Phoenix, you set the example for all of us.”

The anger rattling my bones intensified, and I dug my fingers into my thighs, tempted to snatch my lipstick wand out of my pocket and zap that smug expression off her face. Instead, I bottled up my anger, feeling like a volcano about to explode.

Ric raced toward my side when the floor beneath us started to shake.

“Oh, my!” The Enchantress swooned, falling out of camera shot and into Nimue’s arms. “What’s happening?”

Bea screamed, grabbing on to her tripod before it toppled over.

Ric pulled me into his arms, rubbing my back and kissing my cheek. “Easy, sweetheart,” he whispered.

Wait. Was I causing that earthquake? I forced myself to relax, the warmth from his touch soothing my frayed nerves.

Ric loudly cleared his throat as the shaking subsided. “Vibrations from a nearby volcano.” The lie easily sild off his tongue with a smooth Spanish burr. “You’re perfectly safe.”

“Oh!” She tugged out of Nimue’s embrace and stumbled back into the camera’s view.

“My darling enchanters,” she said breathlessly while adjusting her tilted tiara.

“That deep, sexy timbre belongs to none other than the last living sphinx, Conde Ricardo Romero, who has been gracious enough to invite me into his lovely home.” She flashed a flirtatious smile while batting her eyes, pulling him to her side. “Say ‘hello’ to my followers, Conde.”

His tanned cheeks flushed as he flashed a fanged grin for the camera. “Hello.”

“And in case you’re wondering, he smells as yummy as he sounds,” she cooed, flattening a hand against his chest while smiling up at him.

I jutted a foot toward them while clutching my wand.

How dare she! I froze when Nimue let out a growl, though her gaze wasn’t fixed on me.

She stared at the Enchantress in Ric’s arms like a wolf about to chase a buzzard from its kill.

Good. Let her split them up, so long as she didn’t try to harm my boyfriend.

“As you know, sphinxes throughout the centuries have been tasked with the drudgery of protecting the Phoenix, and he takes his duty very seriously,” the Enchantress continued, her hand still on my boyfriend’s chest, as if she had some sort of claim over him.

“Some ancient scrolls say that sphinxes are spellbound to protect the most powerful alpha witches among us. Some say it’s in their nature to guard Phoenixes.

I’m not sure why Conde Romero is hiding Luciella Sagredo away from the world, though I will say, I can see why our Phoenix would never want to leave his side.

” She tossed back her head, letting out a nauseating giggle.

“Even if it’s to the detriment of witches everywhere who are counting on her to defeat the demons. ”

What the hex? It’s like she hadn’t listened to anything I’d said. Or maybe she just didn’t care. Maybe she’d come here with an agenda—to make me look bad.

“Well, that is all for now, Enchanters,” she continued, “until I bring you part two of my up-close-and-personal interview with the Phoenix, Luciella Sagredo.”

Bleh! As if I’d consent to any more ridicule!

“Remember, Enchanters,” she continued, her voice sweet enough to spike my blood sugar, “peace to all striga, and remember to practice mindful magic.” She drew a sparkly heart in the air with her wand and then blew kisses at the screen. “Kisses, kisses, and magical wishes!”

“Cut!” Bea called as she turned off the camera phone.

The Enchantress heaved a sigh while pulling the pins from her hair. “That went well, don’t you think?”

“The drudgery of protecting me?” I blurted, anger boiling my veins.

“Thank you, Enchantress.” Ric snatched my hand, tugging me toward the door. “Our Phoenix needs to get her beauty rest. If you’ll excuse us.”

He didn’t wait for her reply as he threw open the door and pulled me into the hall.

I shook him off me, pacing the floor. “I should curse her with a raging case of Selkie herpes.”

“Come with me.” He reached for me, giving me those smoky bedroom eyes. “I’ll massage the tension from your shoulders.”

“Fine,” I grumbled, letting him lead me away. “I’ll settle for a big wart on the tip of her nose.”

He spun me into his arms, the deep purr that rose from his chest a promise of a very enjoyable night. “While you soak in the tub with a tall glass of wine.”

“A spell of flatulence,” I grumbled while snaking my arms around his neck.

He grabbed my hips with those blessedly big hands. “And I’ll do that thing with my tongue.”

I melted against him, a sigh escaping me when he gently grazed my ear with his fangs. “‘The purr’?”

His chuckle was like a beacon for my desire, signaling my port of entry to raise the floodgates. “Is that what you call it?”

I squeezed my thighs together while wishing he’d toss me over his shoulder, march me to the bedroom, and have his way with me. “You’re trying to distract me.”

His warm hands roved my back. “Is it working?”

“Mm.” I let out a gasp, angling my head to give him easier access when he feathered kisses down the side of my neck. “I’ll let you know when we get to the tub.”