Page 36 of Sugar, Spice, and Magical Moonlight (Midlife Menace #2)
There was plenty of food, but I didn’t dare eat, for fear I’d only make more goat turds, though the charcuterie table looked far too tempting.
Puffy was having a grand time stealing from the table, made obvious by the salami and cheese floating through the air.
The Enchantress and Nimue entered the box just as the lights were about to dim.
I glared at her while she pretended not to notice me as she and her lover sat at the far end of the box.
The Enchantress, in her lithe, beautiful Fae form, was suddenly far more interesting than my goat family.
Male and female striga gravitated toward her, and she casually flirted while Nimue stood there with a stoic face, that small backpack slung over her shoulder.
Then the lights dimmed, and the announcer came on.
We took our seats up front, pleased when sneering Fae chose not to sit next to us.
Ric and I sat on either side of Des, and Ethyl sat beside me, her wings draped over the back of her seat.
The seats were too flimsy for Frederica, so she stood against the wall next to us, her hooves anxiously clomping while she continued to scan the room.
Out of the corner of my eye, I saw Nimue slip out the back door.
Was she going to meet their contact with the tampons and medication, or was she meeting Insurgi hunters?
I pressed tightly against Des while peering around him at Ric. My boyfriend gave me a nod of understanding. He’d seen Nimue leave too.
Floodlights lit up the field, and the announcer, a skinny forest wraith with skin that looked like bark and leaves for hair, floated up on his broom until he was almost level with us. He clutched his wand to his face like a microphone while fireworks went off behind him.
I jumped in my seat at each burst of flaming cannon fire, fearing it could be a distraction while the hunters descended. Why had we agreed to come here?
“Ladies and gentlemen, witches and striga of all races,” the announcer spoke into his wand in a scratchy and yet enthusiastic voice, like a chain-smoking used broom salesman, “I’m your host, Cedar Martinbark.
Welcome to the quarterfinal playoffs,” Cedar continued, “between strigadom’s most beloved team and last year’s world champions, the Fiery Dragons—”
The crowd cut him off with a roar as crimson and gold fireworks in the shape of a fire-breathing dragon went off behind him. Des, Ric, and I loudly neighed.
“That was your team,” Des whispered to Ric.
“It was,” he whispered back. “This will be interesting.”
Cedar slashed his wand through the air, silencing the crowd. “And the Hexing Hydras, who have accumulated more fouls than any other team in ruggel history.”
Des thrust a fist in the air. “They’re cheats, that’s whyyy!”
Green and silver fireworks in the shape of a nine-headed water monster lit up the sky, eliciting more boos from the crowd.
“Without further ado,” Cedar continued as he flew above the crowd, his voice echoing through the stadium, “please welcome this year’s European quarterfinalists, the Fiery Dragons and the Hexing Hydras!”
Cedar flew out of sight, and the floodlights brightened as the teams emerged from dark arches on either side of the field.
I winced at Des’s loud neigh, then patted my son’s back, so pleased to see the excitement in his eyes.
The teams gathered on either end of the field, heads bowed while their coaches gave them pep talks.
Then they disbursed, most of the players going to the sidelines while eleven from each team met in the middle.
A sprite not much bigger than Bea flew on a miniature broom above the center of the field and released the ball, and then it was a bloody good fight, with exploding balls, feral gopher gnomes, hexes and curses flying about while the players tried to kick the ball into the opposing team’s net.
All throughout the first quarter, I caught the Enchantress eyeing the entrance to the box behind us while checking her watch. How long did it take her contact to get a few boxes of tampons and anxiety medication?
Ric and Des were engrossed in the game and didn’t seem to be as concerned about getting the hex out of here, but though I knew it would break my son’s heart, I was anxious to leave.
Throughout the next quarter, two ruggel players were carried off the field with broken bones, and the Enchantress flashed a frozen smile at other striga vying for her attention while repeatedly glancing at the door.
She was making me nervous.
Then the second quarter was over, and the halftime show began.
The annoying announcer interrupted the cheerleaders and the marching band, that sounded like feral cats being thrown down a stairwell, for a silly contest and lame jokes.
Striga got up to use the restroom, and I finally stood to ease the numbness in my bottom, trying, and failing, to hold back a string of goat choco puffs.
I was amazed I didn’t have to pee, though it was probably because I was sweating like a dragon in heat.
“Are you enjoying the game?” the announcer droned on as he hovered above the empty, darkened field.
“That gopher-gnome got Captain Hooffoot good. He’ll need one hex of a healing spell if he wants to finish the game.
Give it up for the Fiery Flames cheerleaders and the Hexing Hot band.
..” He paused while only a few striga clapped.
“Keeping us somewhat entertained while we wait for our warriors to return to the field.”
I couldn’t name one song or cheer. I rarely paid attention to halftime shows, and I was too busy scanning the crowd for anyone who would try to attack us.
Ric was kind enough to refill our soda. He stood beside me when he returned, and I drank half the drink in a few slurps, embarrassed at my wiggling tongue that I couldn’t keep in my mouth. I handed the cup to Ric, and he finished it off before tossing it in the garbage.
He whispered in my ear. “What’s taking Nimue so looong?”
“I don’t know,” I answered, nervously shifting from hoof to hoof while eyeing the Enchantress and then the door, “but I don’t feel commmfortable waiting this looong.”
He nodded. “If Nimue doesn’t return by third quarter, we should leeeave and raaaid a pharmacy.”
“Yeaaah.” What he was talking about was illegal, but at this point, did it matter?
We were already outlaws. And the thought of leaving Nimue and the Enchantress in Rome was sorely tempting, though I didn’t want to have to explain to Bea when we returned.
I had a feeling she wouldn’t take the news well.
“It’s a shaaame,” I said, nodding toward Des. “He’s having so much fuuun.”
Ric wrapped his arms around my waist, kissing my sweaty cheek with his wavy goat lips. “I know. When this madness is over, I’ll take him to all the ruggel games.”
My heart nearly imploded. He would do that for my son? What an amazing boyfriend! I leaned against him, loving the feel of his arms around me, even if they were unusually hairy. As his strength poured into me, all my doubts and worries melted away.
“Uh-oh! Did you hear that smooching sound?” Cedar called to the crowd as he waved his wand, and a giant screen the size of an Olympic pool appeared in the sky above us.
I gave a start when a loud kissing sound blasted through the overhead speakers.
“You know what that means!” Cedar continued. “Time for the smooch-cam. Who do we have up first on the Magitron? Ahh, look at this lovely couple of satyrs. Yikes! Talk about faces that only mothers could love. Now I understand the lack of satyr porn on the web.”
I cringed when I saw two ugly, snuggling satyrs on the Magitron. But then I realized those two ugly satyrs were Ric and me.
I gasped, spinning around and shielding my face, and Ric ducked. Goddess, no! What if our enemies recognized us?
“What’s this?” Cedar taunted. “You can’t hide from the smooch-cam! Either they’re having an affair, or they’re just very shy, or they’re hiding from someone. Maybe the Insurgi, for the crime of excessive pooping on the sidewalk! Haha! Go on. Smooch for the camera, so we can all lose our lunches.”
No. No. No!
Ric remained on the floor, hiding behind a table.
Ethyl fluttered up to me, hissing in my ear. “Kiss him before they suspect something.”
I continued to shield my face while hoping the camera panned off us.
“Kiss! Kiss! Kiss!” the crowd chanted.
Ugh. They weren’t letting up.
Ric slowly stood, then faced me. “We gotta dooo it,” he bleated.
My veins solidified with fear when his eyes flared yellow, and for a moment, I saw the lion in his face.
“Kiss! Kiss! Kiss!”
Ric puckered, and I knew I was out of options.
Eww. Goat lips, goat lips, goat lips. How in Hades am I supposed to kiss that?
His lips flapped like they’d been caught in a windstorm, his tongue darting out and jiggling around like a tentacle.
“Kiss! Kiss! Kiss!”
I finally let him kiss me. His breath smelled like a blend of soda and old cheese, and his lips and tongue felt like worms crawling over my skin. The gagging from onlookers magnified through the Magitron.
He pulled back, and I quickly sat, relieved that the camera had panned away and had found a new, hapless couple. I prayed to the Goddess that no one else had seen the lion in Ric’s face, or this game was about to get even more violent.
THE THIRD QUARTER WAS about to start when, thankfully, Nimue slipped through the back door, the backpack slung across her shoulder appearing a lot fuller. She nodded toward me and Ric, and I sighed in relief.
“Time to go,” I whispered to Des.
His shoulders fell. “Awww,” he bleated.