Page 25 of Sugar, Spice, and Magical Moonlight (Midlife Menace #2)

M y family and I enjoyed a lunch of fresh fruit and sandwiches by the pool on an absolutely perfect day.

The air was warm but not stifling, and the salty ocean breeze, combined with the refreshing pool water and Shu’s specialty mango margaritas, helped keep us cool.

The only thing that would’ve made our island vacation more perfect would’ve been a trip to the beach, but swimming in siren-infested waters wasn’t worth the risk to Ric, Des, and Shu.

After watching my thunder thighs on the screen once more, I might have swum a few extra laps while Ric taught Des some diving techniques, and then I may have had an extra margarita to quench my thirst, which probably canceled out those laps. Sigh.

After a few too many margaritas, Frederica felt brave enough to cannonball into the pool and nearly washed me over the side of the infinity edge. Of course, the Enchantress took that moment to join us as I emerged from the water with my hair plastered to my face.

And just like that, the joy from my buzz dissipated.

Bea flew around us, her wings furiously buzzing while she filmed me. I cringed when I realized my mascara was probably streaming down my cheeks.

I waved the sprite away. “Please, no filming now.”

The Enchantress towered above me in a skimpy bathing suit and a sheer floral cover-up.

She had legs so long and lean, they should’ve been illegal, and a stunning body, with a smooth, flat stomach, perfectly pert breasts, and a butt you could serve tea and cakes on.

I knew she had to have been part Fae. The bitch.

Her dark hair was draped in one thick braid down the front of her shoulder, pretty ribbons and flowers woven throughout, just like a forest nymph.

To emphasize her toned legs, she wore six-inch heels that had no business near a body of water.

If I wanted to be wicked, a simple muscle-weakening spell could topple her into the pool, and we’d have matching makeup.

Good thing I wasn’t wicked. Well, not that wicked. I couldn’t deny I was tempted.

She waved toward Bea with a frozen smile. “We wanted to film you doing something fun with your family, showcase you as a normal witch who does normal family things.”

I glanced over at Shu in his skimpy shorts and tapered, hot pink sunglasses, tapping his foot to an ’80s synthesizer song, a tinfoil trifold partition reflecting sunlight onto his skin while he applied more baby oil on his abdomen.

Frederica, whose horns looked like droopy, melting dildos, rested on a blanket beside him and rubbed Ethyl’s little feet between two meaty fingers, her eyes glued to her horny wolf shifter book.

Ethyl made high-pitched squeals of pleasure, her rainbow-hued wings twitching beneath her.

Puffy perched on Frederica’s fishbowl-sized margarita glass, slurping down the cool beverage and simultaneously letting out fiery farts.

I scratched the back of my neck. “I don’t think anything about my family is normal.”

The Enchantress tapped her chin, appearing lost in thought. “I know! How about we all go to a ruggel game?”

“A ruggel game?” She couldn’t be serious.

“Yes.” She rubbed her hands together. “I can get us box seats.”

Des climbed out of the pool, a hopeful look in his eyes as he wrapped a towel around his waist and padded over to us. Ric exited the pool, too, his expression wary while he slipped into his robe.

“Are you out of your mind?” I blurted, not bothering to hide the venom in my tone, though I was smart enough to back up when Nimue hissed at me.

“My followers would love to see their Phoenix and Enchantress watching magical kind’s most beloved sport together,” the Enchantress cooed.

I vehemently shook my head. “We can watch it on TV.”

Des’s shoulders sagged as he let out a disappointed groan.

The Enchantress wagged a finger as if I was Puffy caught crapping in the ovens. “Oh, you know it isn’t the same.”

“In case you’ve forgotten.” I motioned toward my family, who all gaped back at me. “We’re being hunted.”

She shrugged. “We will go incognito.”

Crossing my arms, I leveled her with a glare. “Absolutely not.”

Des tugged on my arm, giving me a pleading look. “I’ve always wanted to go to a ruggel game.”

“I know.” I brushed a strand of dripping hair off his forehead. “And I promise we will go once it’s safe.” I hated the disappointment in my son’s eyes. Curse the annoying influencer for putting me in this position.

The Enchantress loudly cleared her throat. “We’ll have the best disguises. Nobody will realize it’s us until after we return and I post the video for my followers.”

“No, I’m sorry,” Ric rumbled while towel drying his mop of hair. “I agree with Luci. It’s too risky.”

Bea flew down to us, her wings buzzing as fast as a hummingbird’s. “It would be a good chance for you to purchase more tampons for your monthly bloodletting.”

My what? A shiver coursed through me when Bea flashed her fangs. All this time I’d been so worried about Nimue, I now realized I’d been terrified of the wrong striga.

“You wear tampons?” The Enchantress smirked, sneering down at me as if I was a peasant begging for scraps. “I didn’t think anyone wore those anymore.”

“Apparently, just me and the gnomes,” I grumbled. “Call me old-fashioned, but I prefer my periods with a side of toxic shock syndrome.”

“I’m sure we could get you more tampons and any other supplies while we’re at the game.” There was no mistaking the condescension in her tone. “We can arrange a Broom Dash delivery.”

“No, I’m sorry.” I vehemently shook my head. “I’m not putting my family’s life in danger for tampons.”

Ethyl fluttered toward us, stumbling and slamming into my side. She blinked up at me with glossy eyes, then let out a loud mango- and tequila-scented belch. “I’m not sharing my cups.”

I stepped back from her, waving away the stench of her breath. “I didn’t ask you to. I’ll be fine.”

She hiccupped before stumbling again, this time landing against Frederica, who steadied her with a meaty paw.

I gave Frederica a warning look, as if to say she needed to cut off Ethyl’s drinks, and she answered with a nod.

“How will you stop from bleeding all over everything?” Ethyl asked as she hiccupped again. “Remember when you bled through your white jeans at the movies?”

Yeah, but I’d been a teen and still not good at predicting my flows. “Thanks for making me relive that memory, Ethyl.” I waved off her concern. “I’ll figure something out.”

Ethyl laughed, winking at my boyfriend. “Too bad Ric isn’t a vampire. He’d take care of it with his purr.”

The Enchantress gasped, wrinkling her nose in disgust.

I hung my head in my hands while trying to get the visual from my mind.

“What does that mean?” Des blurted.

I widened my eyes at Ethyl in warning. “She’s just being silly.”

Ric clucked his tongue at Ethyl. “You’re cut off from alcohol the rest of the day.”

The Enchantress and Nimue shared a knowing look. “If you change your mind...” the influencer said in a haughty tone.

“I won’t,” I answered sharply.

“How about we play our own ruggel game here?” Des asked.

“What a good idea, Des,” Ric answered.

I gaped at them like a gnome caught between a cat’s paws.

I didn’t play ruggel. I watched it while drinking alcohol, like almost every other striga on the planet, except for those crazy enough to risk breaking their necks.

Ruggel was very much like what the Americans referred to as soccer or what the Europeans called football, only the striga version was far more dangerous, much like a magical battlefield.

“I don’t think—”

“Aww, come on, Mom,” Des pleaded. Something about the tone of his voice compelled me to agree to his crazy idea. He wasn’t using a persuasion spell on me, was he? No, my son wouldn’t do that to me.

“Des, ruggel is too dangerous,” I admonished, but then he gave me those puppy dog eyes again. A fog settled in my skull, compelling me to relent. It felt as if someone else was speaking for me as I finally said, “Okay.” What was wrong with me?

“I’m on Frederica’s team!” Ethyl blurted.

The Enchantress sidled up to Ric, her gaze sultry. “I’m on the Skull Crusher’s team.”

Words couldn’t describe my relief and joy when Ric stepped away from her, pressing into me.

The Enchantress didn’t even flinch when Nimue hissed at her, pulling her back with a webbed hand.

“Yeah, us, too,” Ethyl slurred, flying a little too erratically for my liking.

I bristled at the bedroom eyes the Enchantress flashed my boyfriend even while in Nimue’s grip.

Digging my nails into my palms, I spoke through clenched teeth. “You can’t all be on Ric’s team.”

Ric pulled me to his side, enveloping me in his warm, feline musk. “How about Luci, Des, and me against the rest of you?”

“I’m out.” Bea’s wings made an almost mechanical buzzing sound as she flew above us. “I’ll record the game.” Her head twitched like she had some sort of tic before she repeated, “The game.”

I felt Ric tense beside me, and I knew he was also spooked by her weird behavior.

“We’ll take the boy on our team.” The Enchantress waved Des forward, and my traitorous son gravitated toward her like a moth to a flame. “We need to increase our numbers if we’re going to take on the Phoenix and the Skull Crusher.”

Ric let out a whistle, motioning Des back toward us. “Des stays with his mother.”

When the Enchantress gave me a challenging look, I glared back, pleased when she averted her gaze.

My heart faltered when Des skulked toward us like a child sent to time-out. Why would he want to be on her team, anyway?

Ric patted his back. “Don’t you want to be on our team, son?”

Son?

Des’s eyes widened, and the smile he flashed warmed my heart with the heat of a thousand suns. “Yes, sir,” he said, beaming when Ric ruffled his mop of hair.