Page 31 of Sugar, Spice, and Magical Moonlight (Midlife Menace #2)

V aguely aware of Shu following me, I ran quickly up the stairs to the foyer, my feet moving so fast, I didn’t see the little lump before it was too late.

The gnome squealed, sliding across the marble floor like a hockey puck when I accidentally kicked him.

He struck a pile of supine gnomes, and they rolled like pool balls, bumping into the walls, their glazed eyes fixed on the ceiling.

What the hex were all these gnomes doing on the floor? Were they sick?

Then I spotted Ethyl on the floor, her back against the wall, her wings falling limply behind her while she sobbed over an empty bottle of pills.

Nosferatu’s crusty nutsack!

I recognized that pill bottle. The gnomes had gotten into Ethyl’s anxiety meds.

Frederica knelt beside her, patting her back like she was trying to burp a baby.

I gave Shu a look, and we sat in front of her.

I grimaced when I saw how puffy Ethyl’s eyes were as tears streamed down her face.

I considered asking her why she didn’t have the pills locked up in the safe, but she was miserable enough without me piling on.

Ric ran into the hall, chest heaving.

Still clutching his tablet, Des came running from the opposite direction.

I narrowed my eyes at Des in warning when he gaped at the gnomes. “They’re not hurt,” I said to my son. “Just drugged. Leave them be.” The last thing we needed was for the Enchantress to walk in on him using magic to help the gnomes.

He nodded his understanding, his gaze drifting from the gnomes back to me.

Ethyl squeezed the empty bottle, then batted long lashes. “I must’ve left them out by mistake.”

My gaze swept the room, and I noticed several more gnomes scattered across the floor. “Did they take all of them?”

She hiccupped, then nodded.

Ric grumbled beneath his breath.

A groan escaped me. Holy basilisk balls!

“What do I do, Luci?” Ethyl cried, crushing the bottle while clasping her hands in a prayer pose. “I need my medication.”

I racked my brain for an answer. No way were we going back to that pharmacy. The area had to be crawling with witch hunters. “I can make you an herbal brew.”

“An herbal brew?” Her voice rose and cracked. “You’ve already tried, and it didn’t work.”

She was right. Not even Des’s hugs could erase the memory of watching a demon kill our family.

“It will have to do for now,” I said as I slowly stood, dusting dirt, and what looked like coffee grounds, off my robe. Great gnome turds! Gah! “We can’t risk leaving the island.”

“What if there’s another option?”

I spun around with a snarl, squeezing my wand as the Enchantress moved from the shadows.

Had she been listening this whole time? She had to have been a spy for my aunt, or maybe she was a priestess of the Vindicti.

I could see Nimue’s large silhouette behind her.

Bea wasn’t with them, which meant she was probably still asleep after fainting earlier.

“We don’t need your help.” I bared my teeth, pleased when the influencer’s eyes widened, and she stepped back.

But then Nimue emerged from the shadows, emboldening the Enchantress.

“I’ve already told you I can disguise us,” the Enchantress said much too sweetly for someone who’d just cracked my ribs.

“Or ask your fairy godfather to do it. I know he has plenty of costumes at his disposal. We can leave if they don’t recognize us. ”

Crossing my arms, I leveled her with a glare. “We’re not leaving.” I trusted a horny werewolf with my new sofa pillows more than I trusted her.

She gave me an accusatory look. “So you don’t care about your cousin’s mental health?”

“I didn’t say that,” I snapped. This witch was quickly moving up the ranks of my dragon-shit list, surpassing Felicity and neck-and-neck with Colin. If she continued aggravating me, she’d be tied with Aunt Serena.

“I already offered to sneak us into a ruggel game.” She glanced from me to Ric and then Des, as if she expected them to sway me. “I have connections who can meet us at the game with any supplies you need, including tampons and prescription medication.”

Des’s eyes lit up like fireworks as he looked from the Enchantress to me.

Damn her for forcing me to disappoint my son.

She knew ruggel was his favorite thing in the world, and she was using it as leverage against me.

This had probably been her plan all along, to find a way to remove us from the safety of the island and into the clutches of our enemies.

Considering her connection to the gnomes, I wouldn’t doubt it if she’d ordered them to steal my tampons and Ethyl’s pills.

“And how can I trust your connections when I don’t trust you?” My voice rose along with my ire.

She wrung her hands, her bottom lip hanging in a pout. “I don’t blame you for not trusting me.”

“You don’t blame me?” I laughed, my hand instinctively flying to my side. “How magnanimous of you after you intentionally cracked my ribs.”

Her eyes narrowed to slits. “That wasn’t intentional, but your bladder release spell was.”

I shook my wand at her. “It was, because you broke my son’s nose!”

She splayed a hand across her chest, mock surprise in her eyes. “You think I intentionally hurt him?”

I squeezed my wand until my hand ached. “I know you did!”

We would escort the Enchantress off the island, somewhere our enemies wouldn’t think to look that would also have a drugstore where Ethyl could fill her meds and I could get tampons.

I wasn’t sure if Des could teleport us to an unfamiliar place.

Des hadn’t left home other than to go to Rome and his grandparents’ yacht.

I suspected he was familiar with ruggel stadiums after watching so many games.

Ahh, hex!

“You can think whatever you want about me, but know this,” the Enchantress cried out like a wounded selkie. “I would never try to harm a child! And you can use a truth spell on me if you don’t believe me.” She swiped moisture from her eyes. “I know you know one.”

I refrained from rolling my eyes. The witch who’d cracked my ribs wasn’t getting an ounce of sympathy from me.

And, yeah, I knew a truth spell, but I was certain that as an alpha witch, she could conjure a counter spell.

The only foolproof way to get the truth from someone was by making a serum, and it would take me several hours to make it.

“This bickering is getting us nowhere,” Ric said, motioning to Ethyl, who was now sobbing in Frederica’s arms. “Ethyl needs our help.”

I glared at my boyfriend. “This bickering?”

He dragged his hands through his hair with a groan. “I’m sorry. I’m just trying to help Ethyl.”

When my cousin let out a blubbery sob, I felt like a ten-pound bucket of troll dung. She needed our help, and we were running out of options. I gave the Enchantress a pointed look while she glared back at me. “Will you swear a blood oath that you won’t try to get us captured or killed?”

She nodded. “I will.”

Ric flashed a sympathetic smile. “We don’t have any other options.”

I gave Shu a helpless look, discouraged when he answered, “I don’t have any ideas.”

“When is the next ruggel game?” I asked Ric.

He grimaced. “Tomorrow.”

I knelt beside Ethyl, grasping her small hand. “Did you already take your pill today?”

She hiccupped, then nodded.

“Fine.” I stood, leveling the Enchantress with a glare that I hoped would melt the Botox off her face. “We leave tomorrow.”

Des pumped a fist into the air. “Yesss!”

My heart faltered for a moment at the excited gleam in Des’s eyes. If anything happened to my boy while we were at that game, no magic in the world would contain my rage—or my wrath.

I pointed my wand at the Enchantress again. “And if you try to trick us, I’ll make sure you live just long enough to regret it.” Ignoring Nimue’s hissing, I motioned toward the dazed gnomes. “Clean up your little friends before Puffy eats them.”

The Enchantress gasped, then motioned toward Nimue. “We’ll take care of it.”

Puffy wouldn’t eat the gnomes. I’d caught him sharing food with the annoying vermin, but they didn’t need to know that.

I held out a hand to Des and pulled him in the opposite direction, far away from the influencer and her creepy bodyguard while praying I hadn’t just signed our death warrants.

AT THE NEW MEXICO HOUSE , Ric had shifted into a sphinx and flown around the property every night, checking the magical wards for cracks.

Here, though, he remained in his human form for most of the inspection, walking a majority of the island (for fear he’d fly too close to the beach and be lured by the sirens) while I kissed Des good night and then did my nighttime ritual of drowning myself in anti-eye-bags and smile-lines moisturizer.

Then we’d crawl into bed, each with a glass of wine, and talk about our day before making love.

Odd how we’d fallen into this routine every night.

Huh. Just like an old married couple. The prospect of repeating this pattern for the rest of my life made my stomach churn and butterflies swarm my chest. I realized any witch would kill to have my life, chaos and all, because I had the most incredible boyfriend in the world.

I missed aspects of my old life, though.

I missed when we weren’t being hunted by demons and mercenaries.

I really missed my bakery, and I worried that I’d have no customers left if and when I ever returned.

Ric reassured me he had enough money to take care of us for centuries, but after relying on Colin and his family to financially support me, I wanted my own money.

Besides, I missed the fulfillment of baking for the masses, the pure joy on their faces when they bit into my pastries.