Page 40 of Soft Rebound (Mad City Moments #2)

Liz

M y head is killing me. I can barely lift it to check the time. It looks like the middle of the day now. Saturday, I think?

My brain is pulsating ... it hurts my skull. Maybe my head will explode today. Brain matter will be all over. I will lose my security deposit.

Someone is downstairs, hitting the buzzer. Then someone’s phone rings. It’s not mine, because it’s not my ringer.

“What the hell is going on?” Roxie’s voice, muffled by a pillow, comes from the side of the bed where Joe usually sleeps. She’s lying on her stomach on top of the covers, still in yesterday’s clothes.

“I think someone’s at the door,” I say, moving my feet off the bed and onto the floor with great difficulty. When I get up, the room is spinning. I have to sit back down so I don’t fall.

“God, I’ve never felt this crappy before in my life.” I rub the back of my head. All of me hurts.

Whoever’s downstairs is hitting the buzzer again.

“I think it’s Joe,” Roxie says, waving her phone. “He just texted me to see if we’re up.”

“Why would he text you and not me?”

“Maybe he did. Do you even know where your phone is?”

Honestly, I have no idea. This propels me to get up, which turns out to be a huge mistake. I’m nauseated and hopelessly dizzy.

“Gee, Liz, you really can’t hold your liquor,” Roxie says, moving across the bed on her knees so she can gently push me to lie down. “Let me get you some ibuprofen and water, and let Joe in, because he’s just gonna keep buzzing.”

I groan and pull the cover over my head.

Roxie soon comes back with some water and pills, forces them down my throat, pulls the curtains closed, and leaves. I fall asleep with my head still throbbing.

The buzzing stops.

****

W hen I get up next , I feel much better. The headache is mostly gone, but I really need to pee and my mouth feels disgusting. I do have an easier time getting up than I did before, so I call it a win.

I head straight for the shower. Roxie might still be around, but I’ve got no processing power for conversation yet.

****

A fter the shower, I feel human again. I’m ready for some coffee, even though it’s probably afternoon.

I go to the kitchen–dining–living room area in my bathrobe, and I find Roxie and Joe, watching TV.

“You’re up,” she says and jumps off the sofa. “My work here is done. It’s all on you now, Joseph.” She pats him on the shoulder as she moves past.

Then she grabs her bag, walks over to me, and gives me a brief hug. “You got this, Liz. Call me when you come up for air,” she says, and then she’s off.

It’s just Joe and me, and suddenly I feel overwhelmed.

“How are you feeling?” he asks, still sitting on the sofa, looking backward at me over his elbow that’s slung over the backrest. “Roxie says you two got pretty hammered last night.”

“Yeah,” I say, pushing my half-wet hair behind my ear. “I think she’s in better form than me, though.”

He chuckles. “You sent me a nice text last night.”

I shake my head. It still feels like something is rattling in there. “I don’t remember. And I have no idea where my phone is, honestly.”

Joe gets up and points to a bag of rice. “Apparently, you dropped it into the toilet last night. It’s been drying since. According to Roxie.”

I plop on the chair by the kitchen island. “What’s going on, Joe? Why did you blow me off?”

“I didn’t. I texted you to ask if I could come over last night, but I guess you and Rox were already three sheets to the wind.”

“I felt like shit and needed a distraction.”

“I know. And I’m sorry.” He grabs my upper arms and rubs them.

The low throb in my head momentarily distracts me. “Do you mind if we continue this after I have some coffee? I’m really not all there yet.”

“Not a problem. Let me make you some eggs. I did it for Roxie earlier,” he says and rounds the kitchen island.

I don’t have it in me to protest, and I’m really hungry. He pours me a cup of coffee, which I clutch greedily. We don’t talk while I sip and he works on the food.

The scrambled eggs come out fluffy and salted just right. “This is really good,” I say.

He watches me eat from across the kitchen island, his eyes warm and a little concerned.

“So what happened on Thursday?” I ask, still chewing. “With Lance, I mean.”

“Yeah, that.” Joe takes a step back and leans against the sink, rubbing his head. “He told me some stuff about his marriage. And then he told me Kim was having a baby.”

I almost spit out my food. It takes me a second to compose myself, but then I drop my fork and round the island because I have to put my hands on him. “I can’t imagine how that felt for you,” I say as I reach for his neck.

“Yeah.” He wraps his hands around me. We stand like that for a while. “I have to admit, I flipped out at him a little when he told me. I went home pretty early.”

I hate hearing about Kim. I really do. I know it’s important to him, but whenever she comes up, I feel like he’s not over her yet.

“Joe—” I ask softly and pull away slightly. “Are you still in love with her?”

His eyebrows shoot way up. “What? No! No, of course not.”

“Are you sure? Because that reaction you had—”

“Look, that’s what I’ve spent the last two days or so trying to figure out. What it was that ticked me off so much.”

I swallow hard and take a step away from him. Crossing my arms, I lean against the island. He stays back against the sink. We’re still close enough to touch, but I need the small chasm between us. “And? What did you find out?”

“I went to her social media, which I hadn’t done in ages, and pulled up some of her newer pictures. I waited for a pang of something—jealousy, even nostalgia—but there was nothing. She was just somebody that I used to know. She seems happy with the new guy.”

“Oh-kay,” I say. “And?”

“I actually went to see my therapist. I was lucky to be able to see her on such a short notice. We chatted about the relationship between Kim and me. And then she asked me about you.”

“Oh.” My throat feels tight. “And what did you say?”

“The thing between Kim and me was never quite right,” he says.

“I think, deep down, she and I knew it, and maybe that’s why she wasn’t all in.

But I couldn’t see it then.” He steps toward me.

“I couldn’t see it because I didn’t know what it meant when things felt exactly right.

In every way.” He grabs me by the upper arms. “You feel right in every way, Liz. In every fucking way.”

I can feel myself welling up and have to rub my eyes. “Why didn’t you come to tell me that last night?”

“I tried,” he says. “I sent you a bunch of texts in the evening, but I guess you and Roxie started early and partied hard.”

I grab my phone from the rice and check the messages. There are several from him, all unread. But then I see what I sent him in a drunken stupor. “Oh, God.” I slap myself on the forehead. “What I texted you before I dropped my phone... It’s so stupid! I’m so embarrassed...”

“It’s not stupid, baby.” He cups my cheek. “You were worried. I flew off the handle and got you worried.” He grabs my face with both hands. “You know I love you, right? You mean the world to me.”

My cheeks burn and my heart gallops, brimming with emotion. I wish I could look away, but he holds my face in both hands and won’t let me avert my eyes.

“I love you, too,” I finally whisper. My relief at the words being out washes away all embarrassment.

We wrap our arms around each other and hold tight, so tight, like we’re letting each other know that this is it, no one’s going anywhere.

I enjoy listening to Joe’s heartbeat, rapid at first but then back to slow and steady, how I’m used to hearing it when we lie together, relaxed, at the edge of sleep.

“I’m sorry I made you worry,” he says.

“I will live. Just ... please don’t disappear on me when you freak out. You come to me when you freak out, okay? I’m the person who’s supposed to hold your crazy.”

“I will give you all my crazy,” he says thickly, grabs the back of my head and kisses me so voraciously, all teeth and tongue and forceful lips, that my knees buckle and my head starts to spin.

Normally, Joe going feral would turn me on in no time at all, but the dizziness right now is not entirely due to a surge of passion.

“I wish I hadn’t gotten so drunk last night,” I say as I gently push Joe away. “It’s such a big moment, I feel like we should fuck in a big way to celebrate... But I’m really fighting the urge to puke.”

He laughs and kisses the top of my head. “No worries. We have all the time in the world. Right now, how about I get you some Gatorade and something salty to snack on, and we watch a comedy on Netflix?”

I pull away with mock dismay. “You propose the literal Netflix and chill?”

Joe chuckles. “I know. So quaint.”

I grab his head and kiss him hard. “I love you so fucking much.”

He grins and hugs me around the waist. “Me, too, baby. Me, too.”