Page 13 of Soft Rebound (Mad City Moments #2)

I smile. “Not a bad idea. But it’s not just that, honestly.

” I sit back and cross my arms. “It’s that they made such a nice, cozy life for us in St. Cloud.

The three of us, with spouses and our own kids, all in St. Cloud, all working for Dad’s shop.

That was my folks’ dream. They mentioned it many times when I was growing up. It felt magical. Cozy. And safe.”

“And they can still have their dream. Most of it, anyway. You can be a loving daughter and still live your life. You can go visit them and call them and send them pics of grandkids and live your own life. You don’t have to live their dream. You can have your own.”

I sigh. “I thought it was mine, too. It was such a nice dream. My kids and all their cousins, uncles, and grandparents nearby.”

Roxie smiles. “That does sound nice.”

“Right? And now I am here, doing God knows what.”

“You’re not doing anything bad, Liz. You’re an adult. It’s okay to try and find your place in the world.”

I wring my hands. “I feel I’m being selfish. I feel I’m letting everyone down.”

It’s Roxie’s turn to sit back and cross her arms. “Has anyone ever asked you what you want? Including yourself?”

I look up from my beer. I don’t answer because we both know the answer.

“And don’t beat yourself up if you don’t know what you want,” Roxie continues.

“Plenty of people live on autopilot. Some of them, most of their lives. Imagine you’ve married that guy, Jake.

And then, twenty years down the road, you wake up and look back at your life and realize it was not what you wanted, but now you’re trapped and have kids and a mortgage, and your parents are old and sick and you have to take care of them. ..”

“Jesus.” I swallow hard. “This sounds horrifying.”

“But it could’ve totally happened, right? Given how you feel right now, it likely would’ve happened. So it’s much better that you have the chance to figure out what you want now. No one depends on you. Your parents are still young. It’s okay to live your life. You don’t really owe anyone anything.”

I chuckle. “So you’re saying I should relax?”

Roxie nods. “I am saying you should relax and enjoy yourself. You’re young and hot and in a new city, and hopefully about to get a really good job.”

I smile. “I hope you’re right.”

“So, are you in the mood to hook up with some guys, now that you’re single? Those two in the corner have been glancing this way for the past half hour.”

We both look toward the dudes. They are okay looking, but nothing special. One of them raises his beer in salutation and Roxie raises her beer back.

“Do you like that guy?” I ask her.

“Not particularly, but he’s not going to bite. If he comes over to talk, we’ll talk. It’s no big deal.”

“You’re something else,” I say. “I don’t think I’ve ever met a woman like you.”

She laughs. “I’m not all that, I promise. But I like my life and I’m not afraid of men.”

This definitely hurts my feelings. “I’m not afraid of men,” I pout.

Roxie chuckles. “I know. That’s not what I meant.

I meant I’m not afraid of casually interacting with men.

They’re people, like us. They get lonely and horny and sad and angry.

And interacting with us is no picnic for them.

They are expected to approach, and we can be intimidating. So I have empathy.”

“Aren’t you afraid you’d get hurt?”

“Not really. I keep it casual. That way everyone knows where they stand.”

“What about love?”

“What about it?”

“Have you ever been in love?”

“Nope. Thank God. You?”

“I was sure I was. With Jake. But I’m not so sure anymore.”

“Well, maybe you were. I don’t think there’s, like, a universal type of love. It’s probably different toward different people. Or we feel it differently at different times of our lives.”

“You’re dropping wisdom upon wisdom on me here, Roxie. I don’t think I can keep up.”

She laughs. “Sorry, I don’t usually get to act like I’ve got the answers to questions of life. Most people I know would say my personal life is a mess.”

“Who are those people and do I need to kick their ass?”

Roxie’s lips stretch into a wide grin. “We are going to be the best of friends, I just know it.”

“That would ... not suck.”

Still smiling, she shakes her head. “Okay, then. So, do you like either of those two guys?”

“Not really.”

“Do you want to at least chat with them? We don’t have to. Or we can, but only briefly. It’s up to you. I thought it might do you good to start dipping your toe in the proverbial dating pool.”

“I don’t know. It’s probably early for me.”

“So, another round?”

I look at the guys more carefully. One of them is focused on me, and when our eyes meet, he smiles and gives me a small nod and a beer salute. He’s a decent-looking guy, around my age. Reminds me a bit of some of my brothers’ friends. My brothers’ friends who never did anything for me.

“Nah. Not today. I think I’m ready to go home.”

“Suit yourself.” Roxie waves over the waiter and follows with a scribbling motion, ready for the check.

When I get in the car, I’m buzzing with energy.

For the first time since I moved here, I feel excited and hopeful, and not like a horrible person for leaving everyone behind and for not lamenting my engagement.

I feel like I’m on the brink of something amazing and I don’t want to go home.

I need to move. I need to do something. I need to channel the buzzing into something good.

I want to see Joe. I want to channel all this crazy, buzzing energy into Joe.

****

A s soon as I get in my car, I pull out my phone.

Liz: Are you home?

He responds immediately.

Joe: Yeah. Why?

Liz: Can I come over?

Joe: Sure. Is everything okay?

Liz: Yeah

I wanna see you

And not talk

?