Page 21 of Soft Rebound (Mad City Moments #2)
Bobby smiles, his eyes darting between Liz and me.
“It’s all making sense now. Kudos, Lizzie.
” He then shakes my hand and says, “We haven’t properly met.
I’m Lizzie’s favorite brother Bobby. I’m not going to threaten you in case you hurt her because I obviously cannot kick your ass, but I will say that I am rooting for you because you’ve made her very happy.
Don’t mess it up, because Lizzie is the best. Okay? ”
“Okay.” I smile.
“Good. Carry on then.” He sits back down next to Trey, who is mooning up at Bobby like he’s the second coming. Bobby looks a bit shy but very, very interested. The amount of teeth those two flash at each other would make nine out of ten dentists employ them in a toothpaste commercial.
“Okay, lovely paired-up folks, this is my cue to leave,” says Roxie, grabbing her drink and purse. “Good to see you, lawyers. Elizabeth, I expect a full report tomorrow or whenever you get off this ginormous man.”
Liz grins and blushes, very much the same way Bobby did earlier, and the family resemblance is adorable.
“If you don’t mind,” Trey says, “I think Bobby and I might want to go somewhere away from the Qpik prying eyes. What do you two think?’
“What do you say, Liz? You want to come to my place?” I ask.
Liz’s seems worried. “Bobby?”
Bobby is flushed and grinning at Trey. “I’d like to go with Trey.”
“You want to take my car?” she asks.
“I am happy to drive him back,” Trey says.
Liz leans back down and whispers something to Bobby. He blushes further and nods. She gives him a brief hug and he pats her back.
“You be nice to him, okay?” Liz shakes her finger at Trey. “He’s a small-town boy.”
Bobby looks mortified. “Lizzie!”
Trey crosses his heart. “We will finish these drinks and then we will grab a bite to eat, then to my place for some fellatio. That sound nice enough?”
Bobby’s mouth drops, his cheeks now crimson. Trey pats him on the knee.
Liz huffs, amused and irritated in equal measure. “I really don’t want to think about my brother getting blown. But we only have one car and I don’t have a spare key because we didn’t think we’d be separating tonight...”
Trey and Bobby look at each other and shrug. “I offered to drive him,” Trey says. “I promise it’s not a big deal.”
“It’s really not a big deal, Lizzie,” Bobby says.
“It is!” Liz raises her voice. “You’re in a new city. You’re my guest. I’m responsible for you. And, no offense, Trey, but we’ve just met you.”
“A little offense taken,” says Trey. “I work with your boy Joe here.”
“Give us a minute, okay?” I say to the guys, grab Liz by her elbow, and lead her out of the bar.
“What’s going on?” I ask once we’re outside and it’s a bit easier to breathe. “Do you really have a problem with Trey and Bobby leaving together? If you say that’s because Trey is Black, I swear to God...”
Her eyes widen. “No! God, no. Not at all! I don’t have an issue with the two of them... I mean it’s obvious they really hit it off...”
“So what is it then?”
“It’s just ... the logistics of it all.”
“The logistics of it all,” I repeat stupidly. “Look, you can give the keys and the car to Bobby and spend the night at my place. See him tomorrow.”
She flashes me an irritated look. “You know we don’t do that.”
“What? Sleep over?”
“Yes.”
“But we could. It’s Saturday tomorrow. We can laze about all weekend.”
“I am not sleeping over at your place, Joe.”
“Why not? I really don’t understand.”
“I’m just not, okay? Stop pushing.”
“I could also come over to yours. Spend the night. Or leave early if you prefer.”
“I don’t want that either.”
“You don’t want me to go to your place?”
“No. We’ve never done that before.”
Now I am getting irritated. “I know that. I know you’ve never once invited me over. What I don’t know is why.”
“Because it’s my place.” The tips of her fingers tap on her breast bone. “ Mine . Something that’s mine alone.”
“I know it’s yours. I’m not gonna steal it from you. But you’ve been to mine a bunch of times. I don’t understand why I can’t come to yours.”
“Because we’re just fucking!” Her arms go wide, eyes flashing with frustration. “I’m not going to let you into the place that belongs to me, the first space that’s truly mine, because we’re just fucking, Joe! We’re not together, we’re not dating, and you can’t seem to get it through your head!”
I wince and take a step back. I feel like she slapped me.
She realizes the effect of her words and guilt softens her features. “Joe, I’m sorry...” She reaches to touch my face. “I didn’t mean it like that...”
I put up my hand. “No, you’re right. I can’t seem to get things through my thick skull. But maybe I finally will.”
She tries to grab my arm, but I move it away.
“No, Liz. Ever since the first night we met, you’ve been pushing me away.
I know how it feels when we are together and I know you feel it, too.
I also know the timing sucks. But you won’t even try to give this a shot and get to know me for real.
I understand your breakup is fresh and I’ve tried to be patient, I’ve tried to give you space, but I honestly don’t have it in me.
I’m sorry, but I don’t. I am not strong enough to give you what you need, to remain impassive while you push me away, again and again, as you work through your shit.
I want everything, and I don’t want to rein myself in and pretend I’m okay with crumbs.
I’ve been breadcrumbed enough for a lifetime and I’m not going to do that to myself anymore. ”
“Joe—”
“I should thank you for waking me up. Making me realize I’m not dead inside.”
We stand in front of each other, our eyes locked. It feels like the world stands still while my insides shatter.
I know what I have to do.
I fucking hate it. I hate everything about it.
“What... What are you going to do?” Her voice is small and trembling.
“I am going to leave now,” I say. “Take care, Liz.”
I turn around and walk away, get in my car, and I don’t look back.
****
I sit in my car.
There’s a tightening in my chest, and soon a familiar numbness overtakes me. It’s the numbness I’ve been carrying around like a soft, well-worn sweater ever since I left Kim. It’s good to know it’s never far away, that I can always slip it on and stop feeling. ?